When people think of abuse, they often equate it to physical violence
but that isn't where abuse starts or ends.
Abuse can be physical, mental, or emotional
and everything in between.
It is important to understand what constitutes as abuse
and what you can do about it if you come to the realization that you are being abused.
What follows is a list of ten red flags
you might run into if you are in an abusive relationship.
This list is not meant to be the only red flags of abuse
and if you feel that you are being abused, please seek out help.
There will be a short list of resources in the description for this video.
Number One: Controlling Behavior
In many abusive relationships, the abuser will want to control every aspect of their victim's life.
They might want to know who their victim is talking to, who they are planning to meet up with,
or where they are going.
This can even flow into them controlling what their victim wears,
how their makeup looks, or how they carry themselves.
Number Two: Humiliates You
This behavior is often done in front of other people,
perhaps his or her friends, and is used as a way to keep their victim down.
The abuser's goal is to make them feel weak and small
so that the victim doesn't stand up for themselves.
Number Three: Guilt Trips
This is a method employed by abusers when they want to get their way.
They might say something like "If you loved me you would or wouldn't do this"
or "I thought this meant something to you, but apparently I was wrong"
The hope is that the victim will feel bad for letting their abuser down
and just give in to whatever it is they want.
Number Four: Forces You to Take Responsibility for Their Feelings
The abuser will use this tactic as a form of manipulation.
They may say "You make me angry" or "You've done this. You've done that"
as a way to make their victim feel responsible for anything bad.
This is meant to push that victim to work on making the abuser happy at all times.
The abuser wants to keep their victim in line
and making them feel like it's all their fault, helps the abuser control their victim's actions.
Number Five: Ultimatums
With ultimatums, the abuser is trying to get what they want by force
without laying hands on their victim.
With an ultimatum, the abuser might hold something over their victim's head,
perhaps a child, or even their home,
in an attempt to gain absolute control over the situation.
The abuser might say something like "If you go out with your friends, I'll take away your credit cards"
or "If you leave me, I'll kill myself"
Number Six: Physical Violence
If the abuser can't get their way with words, they can and will resort to violence.
This can start off as small things, like holding their victim's arms during an argument,
and lead up to completely beating their victim
or even killing them.
Hitting, choking, tripping,
pushing, or throwing things
are all forms of physical violence in a relationship.
Number Seven: A Bad Temper
The abuser might have a short fuse or just blow up over something that doesn't look like a big deal
to anyone else.
This isn't just a symptom of having anger issues.
It is also yet another form of manipulation.
The goal of this is to scare the victim into being subservient and obedient
by doing anything they can to stop their abuser from getting angry.
Number Eight: Forces You To Do Things You Don't Want To Do
This can mean anything, from making you go to the movies when you'd rather stay home
to making you do something physically that you don't want to do.
It is another way for the abuser to gain control over their victim.
Some might even find pleasure in watching their victim feel uncomfortable.
Number Nine: Constantly Checks Up On You
An abuser might employ this as a way of keeping their victim in line.
They may demand that their victim text them at certain intervals while they are out
and can even request that the victim send specific pictures
like them holding up a peace sign or a selfie with the friend they said they were with.
Number Ten: Picking A Fight
An abuser might do this to test your limits.
They will want to know how far they can take a fight
and see what all you might be willing to apologize for.
They won't take responsibility for anything and will instead make you feel as if it was all your fault.
Once the fight is over, they may forgive you right away
or they may keep up a cold vesaude
to see what you might do to win back their favor.
If you feel like you might be in an abusive relationship,
please seek help.
If you are actively being abused, call 911 as soon as you can
and report it.
There are also many options based on where you live as well.
There are some links in the description for this video.
So, what are your thoughts?
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