Have you ever freaked out because your partner didn’t reply to your texts immediately?
Are you guilty of ending perfectly fine relationships just because you were scared you’d end up
as the abandoned one?
Do you have trust issues, despite the fact that your partner seems to be a loving, honest
person?
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
Whether you’re aware of it or not, your childhood and the relationship you’ve had
with your parents had a massive influence on your current love life.
Let’s talk about the 4, most commonly recognised attachment styles.
Number one.
SECURE.
People with this attachment style have no issues with displaying interest in other people
and find it easy to express affection.
They know their boundaries and are capable of properly prioritising romantic relationships.
They trust people who deserve to be trusted and don’t mind being single.
This is possible when parents or other caregivers are: available, sensitive, responsive and
accepting.
They provide security and comfort without being overprotective.
Number two.
ANXIOUS.
People with this attachment style tend to feel insecure and seek reassurance.
They might struggle with trust issues and fear of abandonment.
Later on in life, they might become needy, possessive and jealous, even when everything
seems to be okay with their relationships.
This tends to happen when parents aren’t always available.
Sometimes they respond to their child’s needs, sometimes they don’t.
Security is non-existant due to the lack of predictability and so the child becomes clingy
while seeking some form of safety.
Number three.
AVOIDANT.
People with this attachment style need to feel independent.
They don’t want to have to rely on anyone else and vice-versa - they can’t stand anyone
relying on them.
In adult life, this type will seem dismissive and unavailable.
The closer one tries to get, the further they’ll push them away.
They usually resist any deeper emotions and have a fear of commitment.
This tends to happen when parents are unavailable, minimising their child’s feelings and rejecting
their demands.
The caregivers fail to display healthy emotions and so the child has no way of learning what
those are and how they manifest.
Number four.
FEARFUL-AVOIDANT.
People with this attachment style long for close relationships, but feel uncomfortable
relying on others, in case they get rejected.
They look for security within relationships while being terrified of getting too close
at the same time.
They won’t let themselves fall in love and will try to run away from their feelings before
they actually develop into something more serious.
They prefer to be the ones who end the relationship ,even when there’s nothing wrong with it.
Unfortunately, the prospect of being abandoned is too painful to bear.
This tends to happen when parents switch between being unavailable and abusive.
It’s prevalent in families where at least one parent was an alcoholic and/OR has narcissistic
personality disorder.
These caregivers reject, ridicule, and frighten their child.
Verbal and physical abuse is often present.
If any of this sounds familiar, I would highly recommend watching Psych2Go’s video up next,
where they discuss how your childhood affects your relationships in more detail.
Understanding your origin story and knowing that you can change is the first step to a
more peaceful life.
A massive thank you goes out to Psych2Go for sponsoring this video and helping me out during
these difficult times!
They have a wonderful, informative mental health channel so please pay them a visit!
I promise you won’t be disappointed.
Thank you for watching and take care.