it's a pleasure to be amongst all of you
it's a pleasure to always come back to
North Campus Sports Allah grants in a
clear way when I confirmed my presence
here I told Drishti that I'll be
speaking on something which I now
realized on a Saturday morning which is
so foggy so cold we'll be quite morose
for all of us so I'm gonna make it
slightly interesting fun I'm going to
talk about what is the most fun thing I
know which is my life and the reason why
it is is because it's not my life it's
because I've been very privileged very
humbled to have the life that I've had
and my essence of sharing it with all of
you is to leave you with have been
possibly the most important life lessons
that I have learnt which I continue to
live by and I wish someone told all of
this to me when I was your age back when
I was a student in Hindu in 2000-2001 so
I go back to my school days I was one of
those rare kids in school that knew
exactly what I wanted to do in life very
early those are three art week actually
I was very clear that my life is going
to be a three-step go to the US step to
join NASA as a space scientist and step
three become the first man on Mars this
is before Elon Musk and this is before
Shahrukh Khan ins for this I have not
been polluted by Bollywood I have not
been polluted by any glamor outside true
middle-class Indian ambition to go to
the US for a fine education of course if
you have a PhD in astronomy or
astrophysics where else would you want
to work but NASA that's the best place
Israel was nearly not as cool as it is
today and if you're a space scientist
working at NASA then where else would
you want to go and retire but Mars
so everything that I was doing in life
everything was towards this plan I was
taking steps towards this plan I was
building on this plan
I was executing on this plan and as part
of that plan
I joined Delhi University Hindu College
back in 98 as a physics student for some
of you who may not have yet realized
their university Mazar the couch ho
Donna here so I didn't really get a lot
out of those three years but I got my
wife out of D u so I'm very happy that I
came to the place and she was from
Miranda so for a Hindu guy to score and
Amerindian was like whoa I was surly the
guy in college is like wow and that to a
physics student goal was really clear
u.s. PhD started applying started making
my progress on the plan and Michigan
State University which was the number
two ranked program in the u.s. after MIT
for astronomy gave me an admission on a
hundred percent scholarship they said
that you can come and join a ph.d
program you wouldn't have to pay for
that education anymore and on top of
that this is 2002 they were paying me
$1,500 a month
as stipend which was crazy
this was more money than my dad was
earning and he had been working for 40
years of his life and suddenly I would
be in this really elite program not
having to pay anything for it and
someone would be paying me to study it
was just wild but it was exactly what I
had in mind
and then I joined Michigan State
University as an Indian student in a
u.s. context we have it very easy or
relatively easy which is strained
psychologically emotionally physically
in our education system in such a way
that hum cube root of 273 uh played the
magma calculate Carla Thayer and one
Hanh 2+2 killaby American students
calculator nickel pan so it became
rather easy for me to top the exam my
professors love me my students hate me
I'm on this fast at probe
for a PhD everything that I had decided
would happen is happening but
something's missing something's missing
and we all know when something's missing
we may not want to admit it we may not
want to come to terms with it but we
always know when something's missing and
it was very clear to me that while I was
doing exactly what I wanted to do there
was something that was not quite right
and I began to have these very difficult
conversations with myself
what's wrong this is exactly what you
wanted to do and I realized that physics
was something that I was good at but it
wasn't something that I was happy with
it was something that I was good at it
came naturally to me but it wasn't
something that made me happy anymore and
for the first time in my life it struck
me that these two things could be
different things what's you're good at
and what you're happy doing could be two
very different things
and there was very counterintuitive to
everything that I had been told all this
while my parents had raised me telling
me them algorithm kissy come make a
chair was come make a limit make
automatically cushy meltia you
automatically become happy doing what
you're good at and that clearly wasn't
the case for me so I was at this
crossroads of my life where I had to
either go down doing whatever I was
doing I will get all the socially
desirable outcomes I will be a success
in the world's definition but I wouldn't
be happy or I drop that and pursue
happiness whatever that meant and I
decided to drop out of my PhD and come
back to India and you can imagine how
that conversation went with my parents
because they're like what is wrong with
you
art Salcedo never Adam Markel of career
at NASA you as this and that and now
you're giving us this theory of
I'm good with this I'm not happy with
whatever that means clearly not the
right thing and they were like look
why don't you finish your PhD and then
come back and I was like hold on a
second I've heard this before it
was you told me in class 10th key is
sulfur a carload zindagi myth America
people I got rotten a pierogi
and then you told me in class 12 he is
salad chick always goes Delta man is
zindagi sort out ho jayegi and now
you're telling me the same thing again
you're basically telling me why don't
you finish what you're doing because you
are already doing that not knowing how
it would work out for me in my life and
parents as much as you love me as much
you care for me I think you are
technically incapable of guiding me
through my professional life so
something gave me the moral courage to
come back to India and Michigan State
was generous enough they were like no it
need to say I add those Alberta is go
push to death ago they gave me a
master's in physics degree so I have a
master's in physics now in India which
makes me essentially unemployable and
I'm looking around completely clueless
of what to do I am confused and my
friends are like look you are confused
so why don't you do what most confused
people do go get an MBA and I am from do
you so everyone to our left and our
right is either sitting for the UPSC or
giving the cat so I know what the MBA
race is all about but I wasn't sure of
whether it is for me or not like two
years the kind of time and money and I
just happened to come across this rather
young school it's five years old it's an
extremely expensive program but the best
thing about it is that it's one year and
it's a bunch of work experience people
who are coming together for an MBA and
that sounded brilliant because until
then my entire worldview in life was
just physics I had zero perspective of
how the real world works I had no idea
beyond Einstein Newton Archimedes and
the likes so for me to understand was
marketing is with finances what IT is
with supply chain is what operations is
I needed to hang around these kind of
people so I applied to this young school
is B or Indian School of Business and
thankfully they liked me and the next
thing I know I was at is B and that one
year just fundamentally changed me it
changed me as an individual because I
think I didn't go there looking for a
job or a career or a profession or a
salary or a company I went there
generally trying to find who I am what
am I good at what am I not good at what
is it that I can do what is it that I
possibly cannot and that journey was
important for me because my heart had
just been broken I'd been left
completely clueless of what to do in
life and I had to rise up again but now
through a very well defined approach and
when I graduated out of I as B as like
you know what the best profession for me
would be consulting because that would
give me exposure in different industries
and different contexts and different
real-world situations so I sat for
consulting jobs got through one really
good consulting firm and the next thing
I know as a 26 year old I'm sitting in
the boardrooms of really large companies
in front of people whose faces have seen
on the covers of magazines and
newspapers telling them on how they
should be running their business this is
what I have made on my excel sheet basis
the research I have done on your company
of which I had no idea until three
months back it was crazy it was wild I
was like shouting why are you even
listening to me but they were clearly
getting something out of it I wasn't
complaining because I was getting to
learn so much at their expense and I'm
having a ball of her time in consulting
and a year and a half into it I am
catching up with a friend of mine from
ISB and he's like you know I've started
a new company and I wanted to talk to
you about it was it sure what's it
called and he said it's called second
shaadi.com and I was like is it what I
think it is and he's like yeah man it's
a matrimonial website for remarriages
because there's so many people who get
married and India they're bound to be
people who get divorced and widowed so
this is a platform for them to get
married again and I was like that is
such
brilliant idea how did you think about
it like no my dad thought about this and
how's that okay firstly I hope your
parents are having a good marriage is
there a way that I can help and it's
like yeah I am a engineer I'm a coder so
I will build this website out but I need
someone to help me with the marketing
and the entire framework of how this
brand gets executed and I think you'll
be a great guy for that so would you
want to help me on this and I was like
look man I'm having such a great time in
consulting I'm genuinely getting to
learn so much so I think it'll be
foolish for me to give all of that away
right now and join this but here's what
I will do whatever time is left out of
my day job nights weekends whatever is
it that I can make let's work together
on this and just see where it goes and
it's like great that works let's make
that happen so the next one and a half
years I had a day job as a consultant my
night job was a bat Manish second
shaadi.com founder and we are both
jamming together making it work we got a
lot of positive press people are
heralding us as social Crusaders trying
to change the world and the way the
society looks at second marriages and
we're not complaining and it got to a
point where it just became big enough
and it required my full-time attention
and I decided to quit consulting and
take a 80 percent pay cut down to the
bare minimum financial plan that I
needed to survive and join second
shaadi.com and you can imagine how that
conversation went with my parents it's
like what is wrong with you
why do you every four and five years
come up with this random completely
clueless plan you're not even married
for the first step in the achy shoddy
gave up either get do Suresh Adhikari oh
it doesn't even make sense
but I was like look I can always go back
to the world I came from that's the
privilege I have but for me to pick up
something that maybe most people in my
position would never have done that is
what I would love to do because who
knows where it takes me and that's what
I did and then we followed it up with
other websites and we sold one of the
we made some happy money and in 2011
Groupon which was a US company it had
started in 2008 they were putting up
flags all across the world India was one
of them they were keen to find someone
who starts the business for them I met
them they liked me I liked them and the
next thing I know I started in the
Groupon business in India in 2011 did
that for four years
managed India than a pack and so on and
then in 2015 we did something rather
crazy which we didn't have to we went to
Groupon and we said we want to buy the
Groupon in their business from you you
want to make it independent and the
first reaction was article or name every
thank you I could not show you and they
were like what are you talking about
like you're 100% subsidiary of a
publicly listed US company and you want
to buy this thing out and make it on
your own who does that and we like we
and we pulled that off we pull that off
we actually bought a Groupon India from
Groupon we partnered with Sequoia
Capital which is one of the world's most
respected venture capital firms and we
changed the brand name that became
nearby calm we restarted the entire
business and the engine and we built
what I felt should have been the right
way to build Groupon India all that
while and we've been doing that for the
last four years and have had such a
honor building that company and getting
it to that point in scale and as of
October of 2019 last year I stepped down
as the CEO of nearby and have my lovely
two founders running the company for all
of us and I am completely clueless of
what to do next I am exactly where I was
10 years back and I'm 39 I have two kids
I have responsibilities as do all of us
but it's such an exciting period when
you do not know what's going to happen
to you and you're okay with it because
most of us are not like the favorite
question of all times during an
interview where do you see yourself five
years from now by the way the right
response is if anything then
your position but under say most of us
do not know where we will be five years
from now and we're not okay with that
it creates anxiety it creates this
massive chaos in our mind almost making
us believe that we're the only ones who
don't know this and everyone around us
is just so sorted like everyone seems to
be on a plan everyone seems to know
exactly what they wanted to do in life
and I'm the only dumb person that is
always clueless it's just such a
scatterbrain but I cannot begin to tell
you the privilege that one begins to
experience when you start living life
without plan and I stand here today as a
living example of someone who has done
that but it cannot happen in half a side
manner so here's what I wanted to share
with you beyond my story it is possible
that in your age wherever you are and
it's very impressionable you're very
young I do not envy you at all because
you have it so much harder than we had
at our times you just exposed to so much
that almost breaks you down at every
emotive level every day where someone's
telling you that you're not good enough
that you aren't doing this this massive
FOMO
there's just massive noise and for you
to orchestrate all of that and make a
signal come out of it is really really
hard and at this age and especially in
our country where everyone has a
timeline fixed for you already
beasts make a but just may 8th this may
ape and this may a it's just insanely
hard to run out of that rhythm and make
sense of all of it and the only way that
I think you could settle for what you
don't want to do and go on to your own
part is to actually be comfortable not
having a plan at all instead marry
yourself to a way of living life an
operating system things that you do on a
daily weekly monthly yearly basis that
begin to define who you are and then
leave the magic of life to happen to you
and I do not stand here as your dad as
your father as a father figure telling
you that this is what you all should be
doing
this is the right way for you to be
living life I stand here as someone who
is making you aware that that's a choice
you have so if at any point of time you
feel I wish I was him I wish I was her I
wish I was living life like they do be
aware of the choices that they're making
and it's quite likely the people that
you're inspired by that you look up to
that you would want to be are making
very actively different choices from
what you are on a daily basis and you
ought to be aware of that because
unfortunately most choices in life are
not out of awareness
it's about ignorance we don't know any
better we don't it's like back in 10th
we thought we had three choices to make
and we thought that we could choose
between science and commerce and arts
but no no there was no choice it's
Hobson's choice your marks defined what
you've chose and this was not a decision
that you made you made it out of
ignorance you didn't know any better you
didn't know and now you stuck on that
seat and you meant to execute on that
seat fall in love with that seat sit on
that seat for the rest of your life and
now you wish you made that out of
awareness and not anything else
and here are three things that have
helped me live a life without a plan
number one spend time with people who
are nothing like you spend time with
people who are nothing like you because
the more and more you spend time with
people who are like you you're not
becoming a better version of yourself
you're just becoming a bigger version of
yourself your world views all the
beliefs and all the biases that you hold
are just getting amplified they're not
getting challenged they're not getting
provoked and in today's world it is so
important for you to recognize get
married in yunkai Behar consider Nia
hair marry existence K Behar kisi or
cacao you there and what is it that
people do and think differently from
what I think of and how I operate and a
college is such a fascinating platform
for that because the people from so many
Bhangra on so many worldviews so many
different ways and methods of looking at
things so many different circumstances
in which they have been raised
it's a pity if you just hang around
people who you are familiar with and you
seek familiar grounds with spend time
with people who are nothing like you
number two it's very easy for us
especially all of you at this young age
to stand in front of a mirror some point
of your time in your life and find
yourself saying I am awesome I'm awesome
I deserve to be where I am because I've
really worked hard in my life
I am also and the truth is none of us
deserve to be where we are in our lives
none of us we're just plain lucky we're
an outcome of a genetic lottery we were
born into a family that took care of us
gave us food shelter and bringing love
education because of which we sit on
privileges opportunities that most
people outside of this fancy college
we'll never get to see even for a single
second of their lives and they are
smarter than you they work harder than
you and for you to kid yourself into
thinking that you have worked hard
enough to be at that point is just plain
live a life with no entitlement
live a life with no complaining
don't complain about random don't
find yourself complaining about uber
late hair Netflix streaming karahi vu
swiggy gokarna and III hey boo Mary
Facebook you like get about Nigeria all
of those things are just so so small
parochial in the larger context of what
you could be doing with your lives
no one cares about you no one owes you
their time and their money you are
privileged and you have to drop the
entitlement and lost everything around
us is built for only one thing to make
our lives comfortable every action every
brand every product their only job is to
make our lives comfortable so it tricks
us into believing that the purpose of
life is to make our lives comfortable it
tricks us into believing that making a
comfortable life is the only purpose of
my life and that's ironically not the
case when you look at people that have
made it ones that you are inspired by
that you look up to they are consciously
on a daily basis picking up the life and
the path of maximum resistance they are
consciously picking up the hardest path
because only when you challenge yourself
not make yourselves comfortable does the
best come out of you and in this setup
where for the next 1 2 3 years as a
student you can do whatever you want to
do and it will not destroy your life you
will still choose to do the safe thing
and that cannot be more pitiful if
you're scared of public speaking you
will be scared to come up and do that
why wouldn't you because you're scared
of what people will do and your friends
will laugh at you who are they
if you scared of not waking up early if
you're scared of not eating right if
you're scared of not making friends if
you scared of sending cold emails if you
scared of approaching strangers all of
that can happen should you wish to
challenge yourself and take the hard
path as a student and yet you want
because someone's tricked you into
believing the comfortable nice happy
path is the right path and if you were
to consciously spend time with people
who are nothing like you drop the
entitlement and not get comfortable you
will be on your road to live life
without a plan because you will be just
so comfortable with who you are where
you are and at what point of time that
no one will be able to impose their
definition or their definition of
success on you I wish you all our
independent successful life that you
live for yourself and not for someone
else thank you
[Applause]