[dog whines and barks]
[ominous music]
[barking]
I'm Matt.
Paul.
Nice to meet you, Paul.
Thank you.
Thanks for having me in.
I always ask people, Paul, when I come into the home,
to ignore the dog, because I want to see two things.
What's the dog do with the stranger?
OK.
And what's the dog do with his human?
I didn't mean to disturb you.
I got it.
Hey.
Hey. That's my jacket.
MATT BEISNER: Right out of the gate,
Monkey is showing me high levels of stress.
I don't normally engage in the beginning,
but this dog needs to calm down before he devolves
into some kind of aggression.
You're a little nervous. That's all.
Huh?
Let's just have a moment here.
OK?
Dad, what's going on here?
Oh.
He got your jacket.
Well, that's all right.
That's all right.
Just set it aside.
Now this, on the W-A-L-Ks, when we go out, aggressive
barking at the other dog.
And he gets up on his hind legs, turned around, bites the leash.
He'll start biting on my shorts.
It's awful.
Does he have any dog friends?
None, unless you consider a dog that he
wants to kill a dog friend.
He's got plenty of those.
How long have you had him? PAUL: Three years.
Three years.
The kind of reactivity that you see
with him and other dogs-- did you
see that right out of the gate?
Or did it get worse?
Right out of the gate.
You know?
Interesting.
He went after his own reflection in the mirror.
He'd slam into it and [IMITATES BARKING AND GROWLING].
- Wow. - Yeah, yeah.
You know, as you can see with yourself,
he acts like a jerk with people now.
MATT BEISNER: It's obvious that Paul loves Monkey,
but sometimes it's how we love our dogs
that leads to the very behavior we're trying to get rid of.
Just keep on ignoring Monkey.
- You got it. - Thank you.
MATT BEISNER: The first step--
Paul has to learn how to detach from Monkey so Monkey can
learn how to calm himself down.
[dog whining]
Aw.
Son of a gun.
I was going to ask how hard it is for you.
You're going to make me bust out crying in a minute
if he doesn't knock it off.
[dog whining]
It's difficult not to say anything to him.
Yeah. It is.
It's not easy.
And it's actually-- it feels counter-intuitive.
Like a parent, you see a dog that's in a state of distress--
I wanna pet him.
MATT BEISNER: Because he's part of the family,
you want to pet him.
The way to handle this is that we let him calm himself down.
Right.
And then you praise him.
And in a Pavlovian way, if he's running hot
and you give him affection, you may
quell that surface behavior, but you've just reinforced this--
- The jerk. - Yeah.
Right.
MATT BEISNER: Seeing him jones this hard for Paul's attention
tells me he really doesn't know how to handle his own stress.
He's got to learn how to do it himself,
because if he doesn't, he won't stand a chance
with dog socialization.
I know.
Do I tell him good job?
Yeah.
Just tell him good job.
Good boy.
Good.
And you leave it.
And that's going to create, neurologically,
a new response for him.
Right.
I calm myself down, I get affection.
This is the way to operate.
If Monkey can learn how to control his impulsive behavior
at home, then he can also learn how
to control his behavior when he's out on walks
meeting other dogs.
No matter what Monkey tells you, just ignore him.
Paul's family arrives at home just in time to help.
The single greatest contributor that I have seen in homes that
leads to unwanted behavior is excessive and inappropriate
affection.
OK.
That's definite-- I'm guilty.
We'll give him affection even when he doesn't want it.
Like, he'll turn his head.
And we're still--
Yeah.
MATT BEISNER: That's the kind of thing that can
make your dog really neurotic.
So here's how we tell it your dog's ready for affection.
The only reason we're asking is because he calmed himself down.
He is clearly in a state of Zen.
And this is the time to reward it.
Kneel or crouch down next to him, but
don't give him eye contact.
Put your left hand out about an inch in front of his nose
and just leave it there.
He's going to say, yes, OK, or no.
Stop.
Take your hand away.
That is appeasement licking.
I want to go a step deeper than that.
Put the hand out again.
Red light, green light.
Good.
Yes, no, OK?
OK.
MATT BEISNER: Mm-hmm.
Go ahead to pet him again.
See the difference?
Yeah.
MATT BEISNER: There it is.
This time, Monkey stays calm.
This is healthy affection for us.
It's not winding him up, making him neurotic or impulsive.
That is gold.
That is all gold right there--
complete self-induced relaxation with a respectful human
rewarding him.
How do you feel about your dog being this calm
and being able to pet him?
It's kind of weird, because I'm
use to him jumping everywhere.
That's very good.
It's crazy.
It's truly amazing.
That has never happened before.
It's never happened. No.
MATT BEISNER: Paul and Jolene need to keep this
in the forefront of their mind.
Do not reinforce his impulsivity.
And do reward calm.