*cough*
Good start
Hey guys! So, I'm back in England!
yayyy!
Why am I making that noise? I've got a sound effect for that
*yay sound effect*
So part of me was hoping that the Queen would be greeting me off the plane
with a freshly buttered crumpet in her hand but
alas, no D:
doesn't matter though because after eleven weeks
ten? eleven weeks?
A lot of weeks!
Im finally reunited with my actual bed!
I've missed this soo much
Beeeddddd
*sensually kind of angrily caresses bed all while his crotch is slightly being thrusted up*
I got a bit too into that
Well, you would think I would enjoy my first night back in this bed but
N O
As about 4:00AM I was awoken by an ALMIGHTY C R A S H from the kitchen
Whenever I hear a noise in the night I have this internal battle between
the terrified Phil who wants to survive
and a sleepy rational Phil that just wants to sleep.
It kinda when like this;
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
*CRASH*
Aaaa Im actually going to die, its a murderer! D:
Nah I'm sure it was just a pan falling over in the kitchen or something. Go back to sleep Phil.
It's a serial pan killer who kills people with pans from the kitchen!! D:
Nah, he'd have a catchier name than that like The Paninator
Okay, don't think about it, don't think about it! Rabbit, mongoose, alien mothership.. D:
Just think about sheep
SHEEP IMPALERS DDD:
What does that even mean? :/
What if a murderer is eating our cereal right now? D:<
Ookay, I should probably check this out
So, terrified Phil won. So I tiptoed through the house and peered into the kitchen to see...
A bird
A bird had flown head first into the glass and was having some kind of bird heart attack on the fire escape
I don't know why but birds are so much scarier at night! It looked like some kind of a flappy hell demon!
So, it was kind of flapping around. I don't think it was injured that much.
So, in my 4:00AM delirium, I though the best solution to this problem would be..
To poke it with a spatula!
Yes I poked the bird with a spatula! I didn't know what to do!
I mean theres no lessons at school about what to do if a bird flys into your fire escape at four in the morning
So, I thought the best thing to do would be to give it a little poke!
And, It worked!
It-I dunno if the bird was trolling me or something but as soon as this spatula-
Not this spatula, I mean I swapped the spatulas, I didn't wanna get rabies by flipping my pancakes-
But this spatula seemed to cure the bird!
Because as soon as I poked it, it just flew off into the sunset
Or the sunrise.. because it was 4:00AM
But, it-it healed.. Or it flew off somewhere to die... It was off my fire escape anyway!
Adorable thumbs up from Phil
Maybe I've got some kind of Jesus spatula power
aaaaa
Sorry if i just gave you rabies or something
So, speaking of things almost dying
a lot of you have been worried about the health of my house plants
and...
Erm.. I did try to get my brother to come in and water them but he didn't do the best job
So, lets see how they're all doing!
Oh, you're looking a bit crispy and yellow!
Are you still breathing?
I mean this one looks pretty healthy- ow!
Oh no! Loki! what happened?
Its like he's trying to escape from the pot
Maybe he is trying to escape from the pot
*ominous music* IT LOOKS LIKE A HAND D:
I mean, I never know whether this one is alive or dead anyway.. So lets just pretend its alive! (its so smol :D)
And this ones gone a bit wonky
Dan (behind camera): A-a bit wonky? Its like, the leaning tower of plant! Look at that
Now its got character!
Dan: Plant abuse.. Call the plant police
Dan: STOP THE NEGLECT!
Hey!
Ohhh no
Im sorry!
I mean, it looks pretty dire but these are healthy new shoots so if I just get these little babies to grow, I'll have a whole new plant by next year!
Or thats what Im hoping
Please come back to life!!
I think this only works with birds
♪ Soil on the bed! Soil on the bed!♪
♪ There is soil all over my bed!♪
For an actual three month trip I was quite restrained when it came to buying souvenirs. Be proud of me guys!
But i did get..
This Niagara falls mug which Im just crazy a-boot!
A snazzy Vegas magnet!
A tiny cactus candle from Texas!
At least Im meant to kill this one!
You will burn soon, my sweet
And as you can tell I got a bit overwhelmed at the gift shop in the space centre at Houston
I got this T-shirt..
A NASA mug which is out of this world
Essential NASA magnet
Some astronaut food! This is mint chocolate chip ice cream!
I think I've had this before
mmmm
Chalky!
Aahhhahgg
Its not actually that bad once you get over it sucking all the moisture out of your mouth!
And a NASA chris- AHH
And a NASA Christmas bauble!
Okay, this was one step too far..
Was it?
But someone who did get carried away with souvenirs was THIS GUY
Dan: Did somebody want to say something about my SNAZZY HAT! Oh yeah!
wow
Dan: Check this bad boy out
I cant believe you actually bought this!
Dan: Party on the front, Buisness down back!! Check that out! Gator Land!
Gator Land actually sell that hat
Dan: I am reping the Gator land T-shirt as well as you can see here
Now thats actually pretty cool
Dan: I enjoyed it quite a lot.
Dan: PHIL!
What?
Dan: Don't be sad! I know these guys are feeling bad for you because you don't have a swaggy hat
what is happening?
Dan: Well, Phil.. How would you feel, if I actually brought you a snazzy hat?
you got me a snazzy hat?
Dan: And never told you! Are you ready for this? Okay!
Oh my gosh
Dan: Phil, I present for you.. Your very own ..
Dan: Black light up fedora!
Dan: That is right
AMAZING!
Dan: Look at that piece of art!
Oh my gosh!
Dan: wow!
I actually love it!
Dan: Phil, you just look like a true gentle man right now. Give us- give us all a tip
M'lady
Dan: wow- that is just a-a thing of beau- thats the worst thing I've ever heard you say
Im so happy! Thank you Dan!
Im going to take this off for the rest of the video but-
Dan: Okay, just because of your hair and your vlogging right?
I promise I love it!
Dan: But you're gonna wear it everyday
yeah
Dan: when you're not filming this video, right?
yeah
Dan: Enjoy it guys!
Okay, bye!
So, I think that is enough for me today!
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And it was lovely to talk to you guys again and I will see you very soon!
Goodbye!!