- What is happening?
This could be the worst medical show
in the history of medical shows.
I heard there's a new medical drama
floating around on YouTube called Attaway General.
I'm ready for a cringe-worthy YouTube medical show.
- As first-year TBs, you guys will be on pediatrics.
You'll help with clerical work, transpo,
keeping patients company.
- Yes.
- Babysitting, great.
- That's right, Georgia.
- This feels like the exact same intro
that I think Grey's Anatomy started when
we did our first Grey's Anatomy review.
It feels like a little hazing is happening here,
and we don't haze our volunteers in the hospital.
- Ambulance bay needs hands.
Paging Dr. Henry and everyone on call.
Metro bus crash downtown.
We're about to be at capacity.
- Somewhat similar.
It does happen in the hospital.
We have a triage nurse.
For example, if I have a patient in my outpatient center
that I need to be seen in the ER, I call ahead.
The nurse triage is in, gets a doctor ready.
If we need a trauma bay, they get that ready.
All the equipment.
You want to be prepared.
- This is Mae.
She's our top second-year.
She's gonna finish the tour, while I go home.
I'll be back when I can.
- I also didn't know that volunteers have
years of seniority like residents have,
that first-year, second-year, third-year,
fourth-year, and they have seniority
over each other.
I feel like this show is grooming teens
to become hardcore fans of Grey's Anatomy.
(dramatic music)
What were those chest compressions?
What is this?
You gotta use the full weight of your body.
- Oh, this is gonna suck.
- This is gonna be amazing.
- I'm not gonna lie.
The person who's there on the first day of introductions,
and they're taking notes,
I was always super intimidated by that person.
Should I be taking notes?
Am I missing something?
What if they're gonna know something I don't,
and then I realize sometimes you need to take notes,
and sometimes you just need to be there,
present as a human.
- There's a lunch tray in here for everyone.
Make sure everyone eats at least half
before you leave.
- What happened to a proper orientation,
teaching them how to use safety equipment,
knowing when to notify senior staff,
putting on gloves and gowns?
These things need to be taught,
and I hope they were checked for their immunizations
because the last thing we want is our volunteers
spreading illness throughout the hospital.
- Why did you volunteer to work at a hospital?
- I got arrested, beats juvie.
(upbeat music)
- Do not blow into a glove with your mouth
before you put it in.
A, it's not really hygienic
because you have a lot of bacteria in your mouth,
but number two, there's humidity that comes from your mouth,
and have you ever tried to put your hand
into a wet, moist glove?
Ugh, and it's hard.
(upbeat music)
Fun fact, those beds are accurate.
They're legit, and they're insanely expensive.
ICU beds are 25 to $30,000 each.
I've seen those go even higher, and medical beds,
which are just the plain ones,
are five to 10,000 a bed.
Imagine a 300-bed hospital.
It's a lot of moolah.
- I'm a little worried right now
because I'm losing a lot of blood,
and my favorite sweatshirt.
- You should be fine to wait a little.
If you hit an artery, you would have passed out by now.
- Oh, we have pre-med students up in here.
She's like, if you hit an artery,
you wouldn't be here right now.
Yes, but why in the world is she making contact
with a patient and giving medical advice?
Huge no-no to our volunteers.
Can you be there?
Can you help them out?
Can you do all these things?
Yes, but you're not trained to give medical care
no matter how many of my YouTube videos you watch.
- Six-year-old female, third-degree burns,
possible smoke inhalation.
We couldn't get a line in.
- Give me a 24-needle norepinephrine.
- What else can I do?
- Oh, you've done more than enough.
You can go back to your normal duties.
- Okay.
- [Nurse] She's close to coding.
- [Doctor] Come on, show me a vein.
- None of this is medically accurate.
She's close to coding, what?
If a patient's not breathing, that means they're coding.
That means they're dead,
and you need to bring them back to life,
and that means you need to do chest compressions,
chest compressions, chest compressions,
and this doctor asking for a 24-gauge needle?
I don't even understand what he's hoping to do here.
If he's starting to try to start an IV,
you don't start an IV with a 24-gauge needle.
You start with an 18-gauge needle,
which is much wider.
None of this makes sense.
(dramatic music)
(hospital equipment beeps)
I love that the doctor, while he's reaching for the syringe,
he's reaching for it,
and he's still tapping on her elbow.
What are you doing my man?
What do you tapping him for?
What are you trying to find?
- What did you do to get arrested?
- In prison, you're never supposed to ask about the crime.
Come on, dude.
You're the last one.
You have to eat.
Hey, don't ignore me.
- Hey Jack, maybe try a gentler approach.
(Mikhail laughs)
- Oh God, this is so awkward, it's cringe-y.
Hey, why don't you try a gentler approach.
- Stevie, sweetie, you need to eat
to get big and strong and feel better.
- No.
- It's actually really good.
Let me show you, mmm.
- Did she really take a bite off the spoon,
and then she is giving the same spoon
to the child?
Oh, I love that my man is just standing there
in a shearling jacket.
Maybe take it off.
Make yourself like you're at work.
Put on a uniform, not a fancy jacket
like you're part of an after-school play
for The Lost Boys.
- What are you doing?
- Whoa.
- [Woman] Don't come any closer.
- I don't think that's gonna hurt anyone.
- Depends where I put it.
(Mikhail laughs)
(hospital equipment beeps)
- The cardiac rhythm behind them is the scariest rhythm
ever, and there's 10 of them?
Go figure why, in different colors.
They were like, let's just put them all on the screen
because they're colorful.
- Squeeze as tight as you can.
Now, don't worry about hurting her.
(hospital equipment beeps)
- Why does-
- And we're in.
(hospital equipment beeps)
- What is he doing?
This is just insanity.
(hospital equipment beeps)
- Keep up the rescue breaths.
- Nothing changed on the screen.
What is happening?
This could be the worst medical show
in the history of medical shows.
Doc McStuffins was more accurate.
Bus boy, why are you back here?
- Just waiting to get my stitches removed.
- Mind if I take a look?
- Two problems here.
One, why in the world do you go to the emergency room
to get your stitches removed?
You could go to your primary care doctor's office,
and save a huge ER bill, and a wait in the ER.
Two, why is the volunteer taking a look
at anything medical.
That is not ethical.
It's wrong.
- Sutures look like they healed nicely.
Shouldn't have too much of a scar.
- This is what people must think happens in hospitals.
The writer was, I wonder what volunteers do?
They must help with patients.
No, they don't.
Can you imagine someone with zero medical experience
giving out medical advice?
Oh wait, that's like Gwyneth Paltrow and Goop.
I guess it does happen.
- [Both] Damn!
- Nurse Sandy told me to be careful.
One of the boys bullied the other,
and is pretty dangerous.
- Oh, bullies are scary.
- I've never seen a medical uniform
specify the age of the person wearing it.
It doesn't say medical volunteer, it says teen volunteer.
Who needs to know that information?
- Where are you headed?
- I was on my way to the supply room for supplies.
- That's funny, so was I.
(Mikhail laughs)
- [Woman] I didn't know you were Dr. Henry's protege.
- I didn't know that volunteers were considered proteges.
I used to think that would be a role for residents
or med students, nurses.
- [Man] Smart is the new sexy.
I read that somewhere.
(Mikhail laughs)
Cringe.
I appreciate it, though.
I like people representing smart folks.
The fact that he said he read it somewhere
means he reads.
- I'm so sorry you're hurting.
How about an ice pack for that eye?
- No I'm good.
- Can I get you some pudding, juice?
- You know what's really important?
Whenever a patient is admitted into a hospital,
or coming into the emergency room,
there are certain orders that we place as doctors
whether or not a patient is allowed to eat,
and what diet they have to follow
because some patients have trouble swallowing certain foods.
Some patients should be NPO, which means nothing by mouth
because they're going for a procedure,
or, perhaps, a surgery, so the fact that these kids
are running around the hospital and offering people food,
while it is nice, in theory, that's not their job,
and they need to be really careful who they're feeding
because if someone is going for a surgery
in an hour, and they give them a sandwich,
that's a problem because the surgery's
gonna get canceled.
- You know I've never been in a fight?
Maybe you can give me some pointers.
- I'm not sure this device that he has
on his head, I've never seen it before.
I honestly don't think it's a medical device,
but because I haven't seen it, and because I'm not
technically a trauma surgeon, I'm not gonna comment on it.
It looks shady though.
- [Man] You really don't know where the bandages are?
- [Woman] No, I do, I just needed an excuse
to get you in here.
(romantic music)
- [Man] You don't even.
- If you hadn't snitched, I'd still be on the lacrosse team.
I should've kicked you harder.
- Hey, enough.
What is it with you kids?
You can't follow the simplest instructions.
- I love that all the medical dramas
are all doctors doing everything, transporting patients,
ordering tests, performing the surgeries,
talking to the patients, everything is them,
and in this show, the volunteers are the only ones.
They're treating the patients,
they're breaking up the fights,
they're making out in the hallways.
What is going on?
Include other characters.
Health care is a collaboration.
- You're supposed to protect your patient, Kit.
- What are they, police officers?
You're supposed to protect and serve
as a volunteer.
- Can you tell me what happened to Holden?
- No updates, Kit.
(solemn music)
Holden has a severe heart condition.
- We don't give patient information out
to volunteers just because they have crushes on them.
Patient information is a protected entity.
Oh my God, for a chocolate bar?
- Is he gonna be okay?
- It's not a good prognosis,
but he's at Attaway General, getting the best care there is.
- I may have to disagree with you on that little point.
In fact, probably more like Attaway Funeral Home,
as opposed to Attaway General Hospital.
Just saying.
Here's a higher quality medical show, Doc McStuffins.
Yes, it's a cartoon about a preschooler.
If you want someone a little older,
check out my man Dougie Houser here,
Neil Patrick Harris, NPH.
Which one you clicking?
As always, stay happy and healthy.
(upbeat music)