Yeah!
Yes!
Why are we happy?
'Cause our very first web show rocked.
And was watched by over 37,000 people.
Get out.
My baby sister's a web star.
You forgot these.
What's that?
My asthma inhaler.
I haven't had an asthma attack since I was seven.
Well, yeah, but, you know... You never know.
Why did you keep that all these years?
In case she needed it.
- Hey. - Hey.
What's wrong?
Who's this from?
My band.
Read it out loud.
Dear Splinter.
He never did learn my name.
Thanks for getting us booked on Seattle Beat.
You rock for that.
Unfortunately, your drumming is suckish.
Awe.
That's where I said, "awe" too.
We want to turn iCarly into a hit TV show.
Will you come with me?
Okay. But I should probably call my brother Spencer.
He's the adult that's responsible.
Hey. They picked me up on the way here in a limo.
It's full of fancy sodas and fruits
I've never even heard of.
This is a guava.
Well, come on.
I'm your older brother.
So I will help you through this difficult decision.
Just... Just close your eyes.
Okay.
Okay. There's two roads in front of you.
Road A... and the... one on the left.
Thank you!
Spencer!
[footsteps approaching]
Spencer!
Hey, what's up, k-- Oh!
Well, hey, what's up with all the squeezing and squishing?
I missed you.
And our house is back.
Okay, I have no idea what you're--
Hey, Spencer,
do you want us to help you take that tree down to the garbage?
- Yeah, just help me stuff it-- - No.
No one touches this tree.
- Come on! - I'm going.
Is that all you got?! Be a man!
You can do better than that! Stop jiggling!
- Come on! - It hurts!
Hurry up! 110%!
Oh. Oh, man, how long have I been running?
A minute and 45 seconds.
Okay, you're not gonna love hearing this,
but I kind of agree with her.
Huh?
I don't want you going to that fight, either.
[laughing] You're kidding, right?
No, I'm serious.
Spencer?
Look, I've seen those MMA fights.
They can get really rough.
I don't think it's a place for kids.
Okay, when did you suddenly turn uncool?
Uh, when did you turn into a little baby
who yells at me the first time she doesn't get what she wants?
Right when you stopped giving me what I want!
I'm forced to wait an hour for bagels I didn't even want!
And then I come home to find you chewing on my sister's face.
We were kissing.
Guilty.
I kissed him first!
Out.
Come on, man.
I'll talk to you later. Out.
- I will call you. - 'Kay.
You'll call no one ever.
Wait. What are you doing? Wait. What?
- Ow! - Yeah!
Hey, have you ever tried oystamato?
No.
Worst drink ever.
It's a blend of tomato juice and oyster juice.
You hate tomatoes and oysters.
I know.
So what made you think
you'd like a blend of their juices?
I didn't think it through.
No. Why don't you just tell me what survived.
'Cause I want to show you.
I don't want to go in my room.
It's depressing to see my stuff all...
Surprise!
Hah?
How did this happen?
Remember Great Grammy's watch?
With a diamond encrusted bezel?
Uh-huh. Destroyed in the fire and insured for $82,000!
- Oh, my God. - Thank you Great Grammy!
We should've gone to her funeral.
I know.
I brought you some corn juice.
See, I was just hangin' on my lawn, shuckin' some corn,
and I thought to myself,
"how come no one's ever thought to juice corn?"
So I grabbed a juicer--
Maybe nobody's ever thought to juice corn
'cause most people have brains that function normally.
Oh. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. No. Here, gimme the cup.
Come here. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Come here. Come here.
No. I know. You didn't do anything wrong.
Carly, sometimes in life...
I know.
A man and a woman fall in love and they get special feelings.
No, no, not that.
Dad had a change of plans...
and he can't come home right now.
He is to coming home, he told me.
He was but there's a military situation--
So we planned a big birthday party
- and everything. - I know.
I'm sad about it, too.
Don't be mad at him.
I'm not mad. I just... I just miss him.
You wanna talk about it?
No.
You've always made me laugh.
And... feel safe.
Shown me that being a grown up
doesn't mean you have to stop being silly.
And creative.
And fun.
Well, now you made me cry.
I love you.
I love you too, kid.
[screaming]
What are you doing here?
Setting up for a romantic evening
with my boyfriend.
I would've done it at my place but...
rich people have such nice lighting.
What are you doing here?
I'm the rich person with the nice lighting
that owns this apartment.
Ah, your steak au poivre at ten in the morning.
I have no follow up questions.
It's for Grandad. I made him my assistant
so we can spend more time together.
Then why are you getting him a steak?
I guess I somehow kind of became his assistant.
No fair, he always picks you!
You know what, why don't I have Granddad come here
and have lunch? Then, you can show him the restaurant
and he can show you his teeth.
Which reminds me, can I get a thick, clear cup?
Granddad can't come here, he'll rip this place apart.
I at least need to paint a mural on that wall.
You're right.
Granddad will probably look at that blank wall
and be all, "In my day, "we didn't have blank walls.
We had one bone and we made five weeks of soup out of it."
Listen to me, I'm always right.
No, you're not. And you won't listen to me.
When we play games, you never have.
I just wanted to win.
I didn't know it made you feel bad.
Why didn't you say anything?
Probably because when we were kids,
you were like my hero.
I've been trying to talk to you all day.
I love you,
but, when we play games together now,
I want to be treated like an equal.
Guys, I'm sorry.
They're setting up for a kid's soccer game,
and we've learned the hard way that you can't do that
and melon catapulting at the same time.
You need to quit.
No.
My sister's doing a great job
and we're not leaving until she hits that target
which she can do, and she's gonna do.
'Cause she's my equal.
You got this.
Aah!
Spencer!
[coughing]
Are you there?
What is it?
Tell my story. Make it sound cooler.
It'd be hard to make it sound dumber.
Hey, I'm Miranda Cosgrove from iCarly.
Thanks for watching.
Make sure that you like and subscribe.