(upbeat music)
(clearing throat)
- Ladies and gentlemen,
for tonight's entertainment,
I have a special guest in the building.
- Oh God!
- So not sure if you guys know,
but there was a big grand wedding.
(crowd cheering)
Ceremony was beautiful.
(priest officiating)
(crowd cheering)
Had a great cocktail hour.
I really liked the live entertainment.
- I would like to call up Nicole, Dina and Jenny.
- Let's go girls.
- [Vinny] These like world renowned comedians came
and gave these terrible speeches.
- You are the dump to our island.
(laughing)
(jeering)
- [Vinny] That completely bombed.
(booing)
Now 10 months later I'm giving a speech at her wedding redo.
- Let's hear it for Vincent Guadanino.
(chanting speech)
- Oh my god!
- [Vinny] Hello everybody.
How are you guys doing tonight?
Angelina, I know that the last speech
was a little bit rocky,
but thank you for calling the master speech writer
to give a speech and to show you all
how to really roast somebody and how it's done.
(dramatic music)
(bleep)
Angelina has had 3 fiances.
- Oh god.
- You got engaged 3 times,
but the third one stuck.
- You've been engaged three times
and we can't believe Chris stayed with you.
On my wedding day, I would have liked for them
to kind of keep that out.
- 3 fiances-
because she's so beautiful.
- [Ronnie] Aw.
(laughing)
- [Angelina] What the (bleep).
(laughing)
- [Pauly] True, true, true.
- [Angelina] I can't.
- [Ronnie] Facts.
- Roasted you.
- It seems like this is not going to be a smooth sea
for this sailor.
- Some people call her the Staten Island dump-
(eerie music)
- PTSD moment right now I'm sweating.
You are the dump to our island.
(booing)
(groans)
Bad.
(booing)
(laughing)
- Well jokes on them because Staten Island dump
has been closed for several years
and now it's a beautiful park that people love to go to.
- True, I didn't think of it like that.
- Speech gate.
(laughing)
- What the hell?
I'm thinking Vinny had a little bit too much to drink.
(laughing)
Speaking of dumps Angelina's husband,
a.k.a. Mr. Handsome,
is a garbage man.
Some people that might be a modest way
to make a living, you know,
but-
(bleep) I forgot the punchline.
(laughing)
(jeering)
- Vinny's going down in history for giving
the worst speech in the world.
- Speaking of dumps Angelina's husband,
a.k.a. Mr. Handsome,
(laughing)
is a garbage man.
- [Angelina] I can't do it, I can't do this.
- Some people might say being a garbage man
is a modest way to make a living.
Yeah, well call me in 20 years when he has a good pension
and benefits.
(laughing)
(cursing)
- Babe, babe you wanna go outside and flip out?
- Boo this man.
I look around and everyone's just laughing,
enjoying themselves.
No one's got a stank face on or holding a grudge
or resentment.
This is something that we need.
- When we first got here
everybody was going in separate directions.
Like Mike's nipples.
- [Ronnie] How come your nipples are cockeyed?
(cuckoo clock noise)
- But we were able to pull it all together.
Like Jenny's face.
(collective cheering)
- Oh, I like that one.
- I can't, stop.
- Angeliner, (laughing)
These last 10 months have been a disaster-
- [Angelina] I can't.
- [Vinny] And it affected us all.
It affected us all.
But I'm so glad that we're here
and we can laugh at this together.
And we're a family, again
a little (bleep) up of a family,
but we love you.
I hope you love us.
Let's continue this, let's never change.
Welcome to the family and cheers, I love you guys.
(collective cheering)
- [Mike] A terrible speech broke us apart,
but an even more terrible speech
brought us back together again.
- [Ronnie] Boo this man!
(collective laughing)