Hey there, it's Clay with modernlove.life and this is Relationship Inner Game.
Now, today we're going to be talking about what to say to get your ex back.
Now, as you know, we've been going through the five stages of getting back together on
this video series.
Okay, and up until this point, we've talked about the first four stages of getting back
together.
We've talked about the wall of reactance, the test drive stage, riding the dragon and
the crisis point.
We've gone over all of these and we've gone over the theory of reactance and all of that
stuff.
I'm not going to beat this to death if this is like new to you, you've just stumbled on
this video or something like that.
Go back and watch those videos before you continue on with this one so that it will
make sense.
Okay?
But here is how you know what to say.
To get back together with your ex.
First of all, you must make sure that you aren't in the fifth stage of getting back
together with your ex.
You have to be at this stage.
Otherwise, everything that I'm going to tell you will not work.
I repeat.
It will not work if you are not in the fifth stage of getting back together.
If your ex is not at the fifth stage, which we call new beginnings, what I'm going to
tell you will not work.
Okay?
So you've gone through the first four stages.
You've really decreased your ex's level of emotional reactions towards you.
You've increased their positive emotions towards you.
There's almost no is left at this point.
There are very high levels of emotional connection because you've worked on the advanced relational
skills.
You've worked on connecting with your ex in a very substantial, meaningful way.
This is all great and good, but I'm at this point, you still might not be back together
with them.
And the reason for that is because there could be some small little concerns that are keeping
the two of you apart.
So for example, maybe your ex doesn't really believe that this is the real you.
It seems too good to be true.
Maybe they're not sure if they can trust you that if the two of you get back together,
you're not just going to slip back into old habits and things that caused the breakup
in the first place.
And so what you want to do is when you're having a good interaction with them, when
you're having some time together, when you're spending time together, when you're out on
a date or something like that, what you want to do is you want to tell them, Hey, I've
noticed that it's been a really nice interacting with you and spending time with you over the
past couple of weeks, months, whatever.
I was wondering if you'd ever thought about getting back together with me.
And they'll probably say, you know, yeah, I sometimes think about that.
And he say, yeah, me too.
And I was wondering, um, you know, would you, would you like to give our relationship another
shot?
And at that point they might bring up any kinds of hesitations or concerns or reasons
not to get back together.
And this probably won't be anything major or dramatic because you've already gone through
the other five stages of getting back together.
Okay?
And so what happens at this point is you're engaging in what we call a commitment collaboration
exercise or a commitment collaboration, talk with your ex and what's happening is the two
of you are going to, number one, agree that the two of you have been getting along pretty
well with one another.
And then number two, you're going to be actually having a dialogue about how you can make things
work in the long run.
Okay?
This is all stuff that we absolutely lay out in our trainings.
But yeah, this would be something that you do at the fifth stage of getting back together.
Once you show your ex is at that fifth stage, that is what you say to get back together
with your ex now in terms of really overcoming any obstacles and hurdles that might be standing
in the way from your ex being at that fifth stage of getting back together.
Then you're going to need to go over to our website relationshipinnergame.com If you're
on youtube, again, that's down below in the description for this video and you're just
going to go ahead and sign up for our email newsletter so that we can send you some tips,
advice, and strategies to help you get to that fifth stage where you can have the commitment
collaboration.
Talk with your ex.
Okay.
If you're already on our newsletter and you're seeing this on our website and modern loved
out life, go ahead and click the link down below this video where we will tell you more
about the advanced relational skills to get you to that point where you can have the commitment
collaboration, talk with your ex, but you do not want to do this prematurely.
If you do this prematurely, it will backfire on you.
I've seen this so many times.
Please do not do this unless you are certain you are at the fifth stage of getting back
together.
For extra tips, advice, and strategies, go down below and if you want to leave a comment,
please do so.
Letting me know what types of videos and what types of content you would most like to see
moving forward.
Anyway, this has been Clay with modernlove.life and this has been Relationsh Ipinner Game
and I'll talk to you next time.