mark zuckerberg facebook founder and
supervillain wannabe
has had more than his share of evil
moments
in a short period of time his origin
story went from nerdy harvard computer
programmer
to going full joker complete with makeup
why
so serious for this list
all things top 5 ranks that top 5 most
evil mark zuckerberg moments
lucky for us he's not that good at being
a super villain
number five animal sacrifice
in 2011 zuckerberg said in an interview
to fortune
that the only meat he will be eating is
from animals that he kills himself
in a private facebook message to his 847
friends
like a silicon valley chupacabra zuck
told them that he just killed a pig and
a goat
in a dinner with twitter ceo jack dorsey
zuck continued his ritual for an animal
sacrifice by promising to kill
and cook the dinner himself
dorsey was shocked to learn that his
meal had been alive and frolicking in
the yard just
moments before zuck kept a stable of six
goats on his property in case his
bloodlust grew too strong
as reported in rolling stone dorsey said
that zuck killed a goat with a
a laser and then a knife before sending
it to the butcher
unfortunately for the dinner guests
zuckerlin knew how to kill and not how
to cook a meal for humans zuck let the
slaughtered ghost sit in the oven for
just a half an hour
figured it was ready and proceeded to
serve the partially cooked goat to his
guests
jack dorsey recalled eating just a salad
that
i don't night number four
not quite human anyone who has seen
zuckerberg over the years has probably
heard the jokes that he is really a
robot
these jokes reached their peak during
the senate hearing where zuck had to
testify to congress about facebook's
involvement in the cambridge analytica
scandal
a scandal where facebook sold the
personal data of millions of users
my father tried to teach me human
emotions
they are difficult during the hearing
zuk would stare ahead blank face for
extended periods of time
abruptly turn his smile without moving
anything but his lips and then
immediately returned to his factory
default settings
there's a good chance the real
zuckerberg couldn't attend the hearing
instead facebook sent his latest
prototype a high-functioning cybernetic
organism of the real slug
where each movement seemed like it was
controlled by the actual zuck in some
secret underground layer
while the hunk of metal and synthetic
tissue gave all the answers we expected
to receive
the zuck t-800 model ended up looking a
little artificial in the process
[Music]
number three virtual insanity in 2017
zuckerberg donated 1.5 million to puerto
rico
after hurricane maria turned into a
post-apocalyptic hellscape
zuck was eager to show off his new
virtual reality platform called facebook
spaces
so zuck and social vr chief rachel
franklin fired up the oculus rift to go
wherever their imagination could take
them
did they go to mars
nope below the ocean under the sea
under the sea nope again
they went to hurricane ravaged puerto
rico while looking like disembodied
cartoon characters that somehow
expressed more emotion than zuck's
actual human form
virgil's luck commented that it felt
like they were really in puerto rico
minus the destruction and loss of human
life of course
things started to get awkward when
virtual zuck started treating the
experience like he was in the matrix
describing it as magical before doing a
round of virtual high fives with rachel
franklin
and then a wheel a laugh high five
after the engineers at facebook rebooted
the real zuckerberg's operating system
zuck realized he had made a mistake and
apologized reading some of the comments
he wrote
i realized this wasn't clear and i'm
sorry to anyone this offended
so at least his passive-aggressive
firmware is still intact
perhaps you should deactivate your chip
for now
good idea sir done
number two horrible neighbor while
zuckerberg is not quite rich enough to
buy the entire pacific ocean
he is rich enough to do the next best
thing block all his peasants from so
much as looking at the ocean
mark zuckerberg is fidel castro in
flip-flops
the residents of kilauea kawaii has
enjoyed the beautiful oceanic view of
their local beaches for hundreds of
years
that is until zuckerberg showed up and
erected a six foot facebook wall that
blocks that very view
hey dustin show him the wall i'm just
calling it the wall to further
complicate the situation
it turns out that some of the residents
were legally entitled to navigate the
walled off section
about 8 acres of his 700-acre property
are ancestral lands that have belonged
to various families for centuries
like an old man telling kids to get off
his lawn zuck filed a series of lawsuits
against several hundred people
some of whom were dead zuck eventually
dropped the suit
turns out that being a real life mr
burns wasn't the best way to endear
yourself to the local population
before we get to number one remember to
subscribe to all things top five and
ring the bell to be notified for our
latest videos
number one face smash before there was
facebook
there was face mash a website that
allowed users to compare two randomly
selected female students hotness
these girls right or left after being
jilted by a girl
zuck started drinking and hacking the
photos from the harvard student
directory in a rage against all
womanhood
i made a perverted sexist useless thing
zuck was disciplined for breaching
security violating copyright
and violating individual privacy with a
mere verbal warning
after he escaped with a slap on the
wrist he went back to his dorm
opened some champagne and celebrated
with his roommates like the douche we
all know him to be
his reputation on campus as a renegade
programmer was cemented
the thing is comparing two random
females wasn't his first idea for the
site
he originally wanted female students to
be compared against farm animals
but stopped because as he wrote in his
blog you can't really be sure with farm
animals
as cryptic as that sounds we can only
assume that zuck finds some farm animals
more attractive than women somebody's
gonna have to answer for this
it's better to be accused of necrophilia
it is better to be accused of
necrophilia
do you agree or disagree with our list
is mark zuckerberg just bad at being a
super villain
comment below and watch our other videos
and subscribe to all things top five