Do you find yourself repeatedly ending up with a narcissist despite your best efforts?
Do you wonder what it is about you that always leads to a relationship with narcissistic individuals?
Don’t worry, there are things you can do to stop the vicious circle and reduce the narcissists in your life.
Make sure to watch until number 1, because it’s one of the most amazing tips on how to stop attracting narcissists we’ve ever seen!
Number 6: Tell your partner what you expect from a relationship.
This may seem pretty straightforward but not many people actually state what they want from a relationship.
This is pretty understandable, as in the beginning you want to leave a good impression and you most certainly do not want to appear clingy or needy.
However, setting expectations is a crucial part of the relationship if you want it to work.
People sometimes want different things or are at a different point in their life.
By sharing your needs with your partner, you can avoid misunderstanding and see if you are indeed a good match.
And here comes the key part that will drive a narcissist away - narcissists do not like to commit.
Since they have very low empathy and cannot put themselves in other people’s shoes, what they really care about is themselves.
They like to use people to reach their goals and are characterised by beliefs of grandiosity and superiority to others.
For this reason, they avoid commitment, as they are constantly on the lookout for a better alternative!
Indeed, they do believe that they deserve and that they can find someone better due to their distorted self-image and inflated feelings of self-worth.
Therefore, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain if you share with your partner what you are looking for in a relationship.
This simple conversation will work to both your advantages as it may turn out that you have found a person who shares your vision or you can avoid a painful heartbreak later.
Number 5: Do not judge a book by its cover.
It is no secret that narcissists care a lot about their appearance and put in a lot of effort to look good.
Now, we are not saying that if your significant other is a narcissist if they take care of themselves, but if appearance is what can tip the scales for you in a relationship, you have higher chances of ending up with a narcissist.
People with narcissism usually put in extreme efforts to look good in order to maintain their positive image in front of themselves and in the eyes of others.
This is because they need to constantly be the center of attention and feed their ego on outside admiration, while on the inside may be vulnerable.
And let’s be honest, the constant need of approval and to impress a crowd can be more easily fulfilled if they look good.
What is more, this further fuels their belief that they are exceptional and different from ordinary people.
So, while appearance is undoubtedly a key factor in attraction, once you have your eyes set on someone, take the time to get to know them as a person.
The characteristics of a narcissist are easily recognisable, and as they cannot wait to be under the spotlights, you can see the signs and distance yourself from this person.
Number 4: Make the first move.
Narcissists love being the center of attention, so they gladly approach people they are attracted to.
They love standing out and they cannot pass up an opportunity to create a new admirer.
In their eyes, you are a new audience that needs to be conquered, a stage on which they can show off their talents.
So, next time someone comes up to talk to you at a bar or a social gathering, give it a thought that they might have narcissistic traits.
Moreover, you do not have to be a passive observer in your life, watching things happen to yourself.
You can take the matter into your own hands and approach someone who caught your attention.
If you wait for someone to come up to you, you have increased chances of meeting a narcissist, as this is something that they are bound to do.
However, if you decide to strike up a conversation with a stranger, you get access to a larger pool of people, with lower chances of predefined characteristics that can be typical of narcissism.
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Number 3: Stop seeking strong sensations.
If you are a fan of big thrills, you have an increased chance of attracting a narcissistic individual.
Sensation-seeking has been identified as a factor associated with attraction to narcissists, but what is it exactly?
Sensation-seeking is the tendency to look for situations or people that can provoke strong feelings in you and it can refer to both positive or negative sensations.
For instance, if you are a fan of horror movies or violent media, you are likely a sensation-seeker.
But how does this relate to narcissists?
Narcissistic people love entertaining others and can present you with strong emotions, both positive and negative.
As we mentioned, they need to do things that are in line with their inflated self-image and that can perpetuate their feelings of greatness.
They will not shy away from showering you with compliments or bringing you to an extravagant date because they seek your approval.
Narcissists enjoy appearing generous, unique and thus impressing others.
But these are not the only emotions they can arouse.
With a narcissistic personality comes a lot of drama and conflicts.
Narcissists can be very easily offended and their self-confidence is actually quite fragile when challenged.
They do not hesitate to retaliate, attack you and make you look bad.
They do not stand those who oppose them as they have a need to always be right and in control.
Alternatively, when confronted, they can manipulate you into feeling guilty and appearing unreasonable.
While this doesn’t sound as an experience one would enjoy, it can be a very immersive dynamic that keeps you busy and on edge.
Therefore, if as a person you enjoy feeling intense emotions and provocation in a relationship, you may easily attract a narcissist, as this is an environment in which they can thrive.
In order for you to break the spell, try to limit your sensation-seeking to other types of entertainment, not interpersonal relationships.
After all, we all know that a healthy relationship can bring about many positive emotions that in the long run outweigh cheap thrills.
Number 2: Open up to them.
Narcissistic individuals value physical attractiveness and status a lot in a partner, but not so much warmth and intimacy.
Physical characteristics and welfare in a partner can serve them in front of other people, as this promotes their positive image.
It also supports their belief that they are exceptional as they have an attractive partner with a good position in society, which fits their mental image of the life they believe they should have.
Affection and closeness on the other hand, can promptly drive narcissists away.
Remember, they look for short-term relationships that feed their ego but they cannot share and hence avoid meaningful conversations that usually bring people closer.
Furthermore, a relationship is useful to them only as long as their partner admires them and they are on a pedestal.
Once you demand reciprocity, they lose interest since this situation no longer serves them or brings them satisfaction.
Opening up and becoming more intimate with your partner is, firstly, a great way to develop a relationship of trust and warmth.
Secondly, it is a sure way to drive a narcissist away, as they will not respond to the newly developed closeness but will rather escape and move on to the next person, as per their usual routine.
Number 1: Once you identify someone as a narcissist, let them go.
It may be difficult to leave someone you like and want to get to know, but once you notice that this person has narcissistic traits, the best thing to do is to part ways.
It is important that you think about the consequences a relationship with a narcissist may have on your life and mental health.
In most cases, the risk is not worth it, because narcissists are not prone to change.
They rarely seek help from mental health professionals, and if they do, it is usually due to another difficulty they are facing, such as depression.
Once they start feeling better, they quit therapy and thus cannot really work through their problems.
Another issue is that people with narcissism refuse to face reality and when confronted can turn aggressive.
They try to discredit the person or their arguments and do everything in their power to stay in their imaginary bubble of superiority.
The good news is that the warning signs of a narcissistic personality are hard to miss.
As soon as you recognize them, put yourself first and do the best thing you can for yourself - create distance with this person.
Remember that it is not about who we meet but who we choose to keep in our lives.
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