>> DISNEYLAND IS GOING TO SERVE AS THE FIRST SUPER-COVID-19
VACCINATION SITE IN ORANGE COUNTY, CALIFORNIA.
THE COUNTY SAYS THE SITE WILL BE ABLE TO VACCINATE THOUSANDS OF
RESIDENTS EACH DAY, AND IT WILL OPEN LATER THIS WEEK.
>> ARE YOU A NEW YORK RESIDENT?
YOU NEED TO GET VACCINATED?
THEN COME ON DOWN TO CONEY ISLAND FOR YOUR COVID
INOCULATION.
OUR FRONTLINE CARNEYS WILL GUESS YOUR WEIGHT WHILE THEY JAB YOU
WITH A NEEDLE.
OR GET A SIMULTANEOUS TATTOO AND VACCINATION.
BE FREE OF THE VIRUS WHILE SPORTING A DEMON GOAT HEAD.
OR SIMPLY INOCULATE YOURSELF BY ROLLING AROUND ON THE BEACH.
CONEY ISLAND WILL ALSO HELP BUILD YOUR IMMUNITY BY EXPOSING
YOU TO A VAST VARIETY OF DISEASES, INCLUDING SUBWAY LUNG,
BUSHWICK ROT, GOWANUS-ANUS, AND STATEN ISLAND.
CONEY ISLAND BOASTS THE MOST CONTAGIOUS DISEASES PER SQUARE
INCH IN THE WORLD.
TAKE THAT, TIMES SQUARE OLIVE GARDEN.
AND TEST YOUR VACCINE-INFUSED HOT-DOG-EATING PROWESS AGAINST
OUR INOCU-DOG CHAMPION, JOEY CHESTNUT.
SO COME ON DOWN TO CONEY ISLAND TODAY, BECAUSE WHEN YOU'RE HERE,
WHY ARE YOU HERE?
>> Announcer: IT'S "A LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."