>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN ALL THE WAY FROM VEGAN TACO MIX.
GIVE IT UP FOR YOUR HOST THE ONE AND ONLY JAMES CORDEN.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ♪
>> James: HOW ARE YOU DOING.
>> HOW ARE YOU GUYS DOING.
>> GOOD EVENING LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO THE SHOW.
I'M YOUR HOST SHAWN MENDES.
WE'VE GOT LOTS OF NEWS TO TALK ABOUT, SO LET'S GET RIGHT INTO
IT.
IF YOU'RE LIKE ME, OF COURSE YOU'VE BEEN FOLLOWING THE
ONGOING SCANDAL ABOUT THE WASTEFUL SPENDING BY THE HEAD OF
THE ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION AGENCY, SCOTT PRUITT.
IS IT'S A HUGE ARTICLE, I KNOW.
WELL, NOW A NEW ARTICLE REVEALED THAT THE E.P.A. ORDERED 12
CUSTOM-MADE SILVER FOUNTAIN PENS FOR-- GET THIS-- $1,500.
IN HIS DEFENSE, SCOTT PRUITT THOUGHT E.P.A. STOOD FOR
"EXPENSIVE PEN AGENCY."
[LAUGHING] >> $1,500 WORTH OF PENS!
THAT'S STILL LESS THAN I'VE STOLEN FROM THE "LATE LATE SHOW"
SUPPLY CABINET.
[LAUGHING] >> WHY WOULD YOU WASTE $1,500 ON
PENS WHEN YOU COULD USE THAT MONEY TO BUY 3,000 TACOS AT
JACK IN THE BOX?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] >> James: SHAWN, WHAT'S GOING ON
HERE?
>> WELL, I'M HERE ALL WEEK, SO I THOUGHT I'D KICK THINGS OFF
TONIGHT BY DOING SOME TOPICAL JOKES.
>> James: NO, SHAWN.
I'M THRILLED TO HAVE YOU HERE ALL WEEK, BUT THE MONOLOGUE IS
MINE.
YOU'RE GONNA DO A SONG EVERY NIGHT, YOU HELPED ME GET TO WORK
YESTERDAY IN A CARPOOL, YOU CAN DO SKETCHES.
BUT THIS, RIGHT HERE, THIS IS JAMES' TIME.
OKAY.
YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> James: YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.
WHATEVER YOU WANT.
BUT I DO THE MONOLOGUE.
>> HOW ABOUT I DO A SHAWNOLOGUE?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] >> James: WHAT'S A SHAWNOLOGUE?
>> IT'S LIKE A MONOLOGUE, BUT WITH ME DOING IT.
>> James: NO, WE'RE DOING A JAMES-OLOGUE.
>> THAT DOESN'T SOUND AS GOOD.
>> James: FINE, A CORDOLOGUE.
A CORDONOLOGUE.
>> THAT'S WORSE.
>> James: IT DOESN'T MATTER!
THE MONOLOGUE IS MINE.
>> OKAY, FINE.
BUT THERE'S JUST ONE THING I NEED TO DO BEFORE I LEAVE.
>> James: WHAT'S THAT?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] >> ALRIGHT, YOU CAN DO YOUR
MONOLOGUE NOW.
>> James: IT FEELS A LITTLE ANTICLIMACTIC TO DO A MONOLOGUE
AFTER YOU JUST UNFURLED A SIGN.
>> THEN WE COULD DO A SHAWNOLOGUE.
>> James: NO!
WE'RE JUST GONNA START THE SHOW.
I'M JAMES CORDEN, HE'S REGGIE WATTS AND HE'S SHAWN MENDES.
AND THIS IS THE LATE LATE SHOW.