hey this week in case you didn't know is
teacher appreciation week and it's very
important to be nice to your teachers
you know what the NRA has their way
they'll all have machine guns soon and
you'll have to be nice to them
and most people have one or more
teachers from the past that they put
through the ringer when I was in high
school we had a Spanish teacher named
mr. Gretz and every day
mr. Gretz would write ten crest
questions on the chalkboard and then he
pulled down the map to cover them until
quiz time and then he'd lift them up and
then we'd have to take the quiz and
every day someone would somehow sneak
into the classrooms and erase all the
questions and replace them with a
cartoon penis and then mr. Gretz either
retired or disappeared I'm not sure
after that year but I think I feel like
we owe him an apology teachers have
difficult jobs and so today in honor of
teacher appreciation week we went out to
Hollywood Boulevard to give people a
chance to say sorry for the awful awful
things they did
it's teacher appreciation week
are there any teachers you would like to
apologize to sure my fifth grade teacher
name was miss miss glass sir I gave her
the nickname gassy goo and it stuck with
her the whole year my senior year of
high school I want to apologize Missy
wall because I arrives very drunk
to my last final for math and I
completely failed it and I knew what I
was taking I knew this stuff but I
failed it because I was very very drunk
I apologize to my kindergarten teacher
for kicking her every day every day I
would come in and kick her for no reason
and after that first grade my first
grade teacher I would hit her with the
rubberband and paper
also things got worse yeah there was a
teacher at the Sorel High School in
Orange County who had very very big
curly hair and when she turned around to
write on the board we would roll up
little pieces of paper and see how many
we could stick in her hair without her
what was your record I think it maybe
was like eight or nine not anything
crazy you I don't remember her name but
I took a Spanish class my freshman year
of high school and I'm from Mexico City
I was born there but I didn't tell the
teacher until like the last week during
like our final presentation where I got
up yep it's a lot in espanol either
different there and yeah I spoke Spanish
better than her she was I think she was
Russian just mr. McCreary he's a high
school teacher in print roads Virginia
what do you do we we stole his car and
put it on the roof apologize for telling
a marijuana joke in first grade what was
the joke miss Kraus why don't
balloons do drugs
and you know panic on her face and she
said I don't know e me and I said cuz
they'll afraid they'll get too high and
get busted and yeah she like that and
what do you do now I'm the mayor of
Manhattan Beach California are there new
teachers you'd like to apologize - yeah
I like apologize to the teacher I stole
a checkbook from in high school okay I
keep that hard to high school you got
scented lord of high school was still
about teachers checkbook and try to cash
a check and got caught with a jail I was
embarrassed in front of all the fine
stupid coke but my friends gonna see me
crazy
I apologize forgive me I wanna apologize
to miss Amundsen my ESL teacher she used
to send me to go get cigarettes from the
liquor store and I was were still two or
three cigarettes you know and that's the
way I learned how to smoke you know and
be cool at least I learned something in
school you know hi I'm Jimmy Kimmel an
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