- Now, I'm gonna kick this video off with a time
in my life when I really liked a woman,
but I was just not serious about her.
And before you all go ahead and give this video
a down like, and give me all that hate everywhere
on all of social media, give me a second to explain.
Now, we're gonna go back in time
before I ever met Jessica,
and I was actually coming fresh out of breakup.
And like most breakups, it really (beep) sucked.
Like, rip your heart out and stomp it on the floor,
and keep beating it, and beating it until
it is completely dead, type of breakup.
Needless to say, I was at a time of my life where
(panting)
I just didn't want to have anything serious.
But then I a few months after that breakup,
I went out with some friends
and I met this girl named Maddie,
and we just instantly clicked.
That was really cool, it was at a time in my life
where I just need a little bit of brightness in my life,
and just to be able to connect with someone.
So Maddie and I started spending
a little bit more time together,
we were starting to get to know each other,
but I knew from the core of my being
that I didn't want to jump right back into
a serious relationship.
So in this video right now,
I'm gonna be diving into five signs
that a guy likes you,
but he's just not serious about a relationship.
And I'm gonna be sharing some of the things
that I went through during this time of my life.
And some of the signs and vibes
that I was giving off to Maddie.
(loud crashing)
(bells chiming)
Hey there, Adam Lodolce from SexyConfidence.com
and this video is a special video that is part
or the Sexy Confidence Club relaunch,
coming November 11th,
which is singles day, 11-11, one-one-one-one.
In last week's video, I told you
that leading up to the launch,
I was gonna be answering some of your questions.
And last week's question was on Instagram,
and it's from Lou.
How to tell if a man wants something more serious with you?
Lou, that's such an important question,
I know so many of you women out there are trying
to figure out right now,
so maybe this is a little bit of a wake-up call
for some of you ladies who're stuck
in this really shitty situation
of being with a guy that you really like,
and he likes you, but, man, he's just feeling distant.
So let's jump right into it.
Sign number one is that he's all audio and no video.
And what this basically means
is that he's telling you everything you wanna hear,
but he's not actually showing you or giving you
the things that you need.
He's telling you that he wants to spend more time with you,
but he's kinda busy at work.
He's telling you that he'd love to go on vacation with you,
but he doesn't have enough vacation time.
He's telling you that he maybe wants
to get married some day and have children with you,
but he doesn't wanna be your boyfriend?
Just remember this key principle,
if the audio and the video aren't lining up,
always listen to the video, that's what matters.
Oh, and by the way, this is the only sign
that I wasn't giving to Maddie in that situation,
because I was very clear with her, very upfront,
that I didn't want a relationship.
Oh, and for you sexy creepers out there,
just so you know, her real name isn't Maddie,
it's something else,
so don't go scouring the internet looking
for this mystery person.
Sign number two is, he follows what I call,
the one month principle.
The one month principle is a principle
that a lot of guys follow whether they know it
or they don't which is,
if they're seeing a woman that they like,
but aren't serious with,
they're never gonna make plans with her longer
than a month in advance.
And a reason for this is obvious,
why would he want to make plans with a woman
who he doesn't see a future with?
And I remember with Maddie, she asked me
to actually go on a cruise with her,
and my heart of heart was telling me this would
be super fun, we could really enjoy ourself,
but I just knew from the bottom of my heart
that if I did this
that I would sucked into another relationship
that I knew I couldn't give my whole self to.
So I declined.
Sign number three is that it is all flirting
and no substance in the relationship.
If you're with a guy and you're having a really rough day,
or maybe you're having some friction in your family,
and you wanna talk about something that's kinda deeper,
and more substantive, and all he can do
is flirt back with you and give quick one-liner quips,
and clearly he doesn't wanna have a real conversation about
the deeper things,
then chances are he doesn't want anything too serious.
One thing that a lot of people do, and by the way,
women will do this as well
when you don't want a serious relationship with a guy,
is that you'll try to keep everything surface level.
You don't wanna dive deeper and discover
this iceberg of emotions that exists behind everyone.
You don't wanna see that iceberg, right?
You just wanna keep it right at the surface level
and just enjoy your time together, and that is it.
So if you're finding that all he does is flirt,
and doesn't give any substance,
then either A, he doesn't want anything serious,
or B, he doesn't have any substance to give,
regardless, move on with your life,
and go find someone better.
Say that four-letter magic word
which is, next, and move on with your life.
If you've ever been with a guy who's just all flirting
and no substance, leave a comment below,
tell me how it went.
Probably didn't end very well.
Sign number four is that he pulls back at any discussion
of a relationship.
Believe it or not, us men,
we have these things called hearts.
And when we are with a woman who clearly wants
a relationship, and is really interested
in something deeper, and we don't,
once they start having
that discussion about wanting a relationship,
we tend to either break it off or pull back.
Now in my case with Maddie, I didn't just pull back,
I was very clear with her that I was not
at a period of my life where I wanted a relationship.
Oh, and by the way, she made the critical error
of telling me the same even though she was trying
to get me into a relationship.
And the reason why I know she wanted a relationship
is because after two or three months of being together,
she was constantly trying to pull me in closer,
and she was talking about relationships,
and trying to talk about our future together,
while at the same reminding me
that was something very casual.
Now, I started seeing this,
I started reading the situation,
and I realized that this was not a good thing.
This wasn't going to end well for her
and this certainly wasn't gonna end well for me,
so I decided to break it off.
I told her exactly what I was thinking
which is, look, I'm not at a time of my life
where I really want anything too serious,
and I think that you should really go off
and find what it is that you're looking for.
Which leads me to point number five
which is, he tells you, with his words,
that he doesn't want anything serious.
This, my sexy single ladies out there,
is where words really matter.
When I told her, I didn't want anything serious,
and that I think we should move on with our life,
this gave her this magical signal
that I wanted secretly to be in a relationship with her,
all she needed to do was work harder to win me over.
That never works.
When a person tells you they don't want a relationship,
trust their word.
And more importantly, why would you want
to spend another second on this planet earth
with someone who doesn't want to be with you?
Never invest more in a man
than he's investing in you, period.
So thank you so much, Lou, for your question.
And if you want to be able ask a question to me
for next week's video,
leading up to the Singles' Day launch,
head on over to SexyConfidence.com/Club
which will add you to the waiting list
where you can also ask me a question
where going to able to answer it on next week's video.
And please, if you enjoyed this video,
give it a like on YouTube, give it a heart on Instagram,
and don't forget to subscribe or follow me
at all these crazy social media places,
'cause there's going to be a lot
of awesome content coming on Singles' Day, 11-11.
Thank you so much for watching,
and I will speak to you, you sexy single lady,
next week, buh-bye.