- The number one cock-block to attracting love
is this one thing that when you remove,
you allow love to flow into your life
unlike anything you've experienced before.
What I share with you in this video is something
that took me years to learn,
and the soon as I made this switch,
my whole entire life changed.
I started seeing things, new opportunities
that I never saw before.
Also, I started to feel completely different about myself
because I got to the root of what was really blocking love
from being magnetized into my life.
And in this video, I'm gonna show you exactly what that is,
how to remove it, and how to open up the floodgates
to that love.
(upbeat music)
Welcome back to another video, my name is Aaron,
and I help people expand their consciousness.
Now, in this video, I'm gonna be sharing with you
the numero uno cock-block that is blocking you.
Cock-block, I don't know if that's gonna work
for the YouTube algorithm, saying that word cock-block.
But guess what, when you remove that cock-block,
guess what's gonna happen?
You're gonna allow love in your life easier than ever.
I became aware of this
just a couple weeks ago.
And the story that I had, the narrative I had around love
was mainly based from childhood trauma.
Now, understand a lot of times when we go through childhood,
not even trauma necessarily from childhood,
in a way some of it was,
but the attachment style we have and the way we view love
in general is normally playing itself out
based on familiar patterns we had when we were a kid.
So what we'll say is, when we experience a deep connection
with somebody, normally, it's a familiar connection
if we haven't healed the shadow wounds
from when we were a kid.
So when I was growing up, I felt a certain level
of emotional abandonment because my parents were going
through a lot, there's a certain level of growth,
like most of our parents are
so it's not necessarily their fault.
I was feeling like this yearning for emotional availability
and because I didn't get it in the way I felt I needed,
I then felt like I wasn't worthy,
I felt like there was something wrong with me.
And what happened is, then going through life,
there was a certain level of shame that I had.
Shame, the thing about shame,
is that shame says there's something wrong with me.
Guilt is a good person that did something bad
that they feel guilty about.
Guilt is action-based, whereas shame is identity-base.
So I had this belief,
and there was this people pleaser mentality that was born
that I had to then shed.
I shed that about a year ago,
people pleasing, meaning I'm doing things
to mitigate tension towards other people.
This people approval thing
that then depolarizes masculine polarity,
it's not authentic.
And I was then changing myself, so that I could then make
other people happy, which means I wasn't grounded
in who I really am, I wasn't being as authentic.
But the reason I was changing myself
is because of the initial premise
that there's something wrong with me.
There is a level of shame there
that then I would carry into relationships.
And one of the biggest epiphanies too
is that I would attract people into my life
that were emotionally unavailable so that I could try
to fix them because the idea
is that if I can fix this person,
then maybe they'll love me.
If I can fix somebody, it's like playing
the childhood dynamic again, where if I could fix mom or dad
and get them to love me, then everything will be okay.
The problem is that, then it's externally focused
and you can't really fix anybody.
So if I wanted to change that pattern,
and I wanted to allow the floodgates
of love opportunities in, what I had to do
is I had to recognize that truth.
The truth is, I believe there's a level of shame there,
where I'm not good enough.
I don't deserve something specific
like something nurturing and loving.
And I had to let go of that shame,
I had to let go of that identity,
I had to realize this one thing,
It was never about me.
As kids, we think everything is about ourselves,
of our parents' divorce, it's because of us.
If a parent is abusing us,
it's because there's something inherently wrong with us.
And when we carry that with us, we then allow ourselves
into relationships that lack boundaries.
That's why you see a lot of empaths attract narcissists
because narcissists say,
"I will take what I want, I will demand and control."
Empaths have no boundaries and have no limits
so they will say, "I will please at all expense
so that I can get validation and love."
And it becomes this trauma bond.
But what happens is,
the reason it doesn't end really,
it ends up dragging out a lot longer
is because the empaths will tolerate it.
They believe they deserve that kind of experience
because it's familiar from childhood.
So the biggest thing that's going to block you
from attracting love into your life is your own self image
and how you relate to love when it comes to shame.
You have to release shame
and you have to know you're worthy.
Your worth may mean developing your frame.
It may mean say no to things you don't wanna do.
It may mean leading in your life in a new way.
It may mean doing a meditation,
where you separate yourself from a candle flame,
that's called the frame technique.
It is extraordinarily powerful
for creating magnetic boundaries.
I have a whole entire free training on it
that you can listen to
if you go to aarondoughty.com/frame, F-R-A-M-E.
I'll link it down below, it's an hour long activation,
where we energetically do that and you learn
the frame technique for creating boundaries,
magnetic energy, and it is extraordinarily powerful.
I've been doing that meditation
for about four or five months now,
it's completely transformed my life, and it's so simple.
But feeling the separation helps you then feel safe
in your own body,
when you're safe in your own body, you're attractive.
So this is about those levels of awareness
with those different things, there's a meditation
that I have as well that is the most powerful
or it's the most popular meditation on my channel,
it's got over 4 million views.
Thousands of people saying that they attracted love
from listening to that meditation for 21 days.
Why? Because then you're activating the internal love
inside of yourself and you're seeing yourself.
You're seeing it as natural
for you to be in a loving relationship.
You're seeing it as natural for you to love yourself.
Really attracting love is about feeling love for yourself
because people feel what you feel.
The more in love with yourself you become, the better.
Now, this doesn't mean narcissism,
and the empath's not gonna become narcissistic.
Narcissism is a toxic form of self-love,
but it's not really self-love.
There is something called healthy narcissism,
and that's what the empath needs to learn.
And that's where you learn your own self-confidence,
it means you have to be rooted in the self,
self-love is rooted in the self.
The self is where you become aware of the separation
between you and the candle flame, you and your mom,
you and your dad, you and your person you're dating.
And then you let go of the neediness,
the codependent behaviors that may be there from childhood,
where you're trying to fix someone,
or you're trying attach yourself to someone else
to get their validation love or approval.
You have to separate yourself from that
and feel the love of self.
There's a tribe, I was reading about this the other day,
this is a...
And by the way, that meditation, click below,
commit to that, read the comments to see
'cause that will increase the belief
for you, attracting love.
You read the comments and see all these people
that say they attracted love, listen to that meditation.
It increases the belief in you,
and then you do it for 21 days, you feel that love
on the inside and you'll see what happens.
So you'll see that below as well.
There's a tribe, I was reading about this,
there was a tribe,
and in tribes, they have these little initiations
that people go through,
and initiations help people to really change their identity.
There is this one girl though, that in this tribe,
this guy goes in and sees this one girl,
she's like 19 years old,
and she's got the most beautiful magnetic energy.
And she's so happy,
and she has this horrible burn mark on her face,
like burns all around her face.
And the guy asked, one of the other tribes members was like,
"She's got such a magnetic energy.
What is it about her?
What happened to her face?"
The tribe said, when she was 13 years old,
her mom sprayed boiling water on her face out of rage.
And you think to yourself,
"Wow, how did she transcend that?"
Well, what they did is in the tribes,
they had every single person in the tribe circle around
this young girl and tell her,
"This was not because of you.
This is not your fault.
This has nothing to do with you."
And what happened is she did not internalize that as shame
or as a part of her self-worthiness.
She did not feel any less than,
it had nothing to do with her.
Your parents' emotional availability,
or lack of emotional availability, or physical presence,
or lack of presence in general,
had nothing to do with you, nothing.
It was to do with them and what they're going through.
When you realize that, you realize, "Wait, I am worthy.
I am worthy of love.
I'm worthy of loving myself.
There's nothing wrong with me."
When you reduce that shame,
when you let go of that,
you will then start to feel worthy.
You will then start to recognize your own value.
You will start to be rooted in yourself,
and as you're rooted in yourself,
you will have a magnetic quality that changes everything.
So realize that the more I've let go of my old identity
and realizing that I'm attracting people into my life
that replayed the same childhood dynamic
from when I was a kid,
it then opened up a whole new floodgate
of opportunity for me.
It was always there.
This is the crazy thing, it's been there for months.
I wasn't able to perceive it because of my attachment
to the old and my attachment to the shame,
thinking there's something wrong with me.
And also, I realized there was a certain level
of my own intimacy.
I was always like,
me attracting people that are emotionally unavailable,
it's because I was emotionally unavailable.
That was a big epiphany for me too.
So I had to start opening myself up.
I start opening myself up around other people,
not be afraid of that intimate connection
even though part of me wanted it
but part of me was afraid of it 'cause it's unfamiliar.
I'm used to the more...
A different type of energy.
And the more I've opened up though,
is the more that opportunity have come in.
So those are the lessons for today.
Listen to that meditation for 21 days.
Listen to the frame technique, aarondoughty.com/frame,
check it out, like this video.
If you liked this video, if you want more, like it,
and if this resonated with you,
maybe that's the one cock-block,
the cock-block for you.
You know what I mean?
Anyways, I'll talk to you guys in the next video,
peace, much love, and namaste.