On this episode of China Uncensored,
Ever wonder what the Communist Party
cares about most?
The answer will surprise you...
I spy with my little eye,
a People’s Liberation Army Navy Type 815
auxiliary general intelligence ship!
And finally,
make sure you’re not sitting in the splash zone,
when China’s housing bubble bursts.
This is China Uncensored.
Hi, welcome to China Uncensored,
I’m your host Chris Chappell.
If there’s one thing
the Chinese Communist Party cares about,
its sincerity.
Party members are just so sincere
about listening to the people,
says Party mouthpiece People’s Daily.
They also say China deserves recognition
for sincerely promoting peace around the world.
And my heart trembles when I think about
how sincere China is in the South China Sea.
Actually, I’m pretty sure the Global Times
is right about that one.
I mean, setting up military bases
is a sincere commitment.
So what happens when some no-good
but duly elected Hong Kong lawmakers
aren’t sincere?
Well, they must be punished.
Newly elected lawmakers in Hong Kong
have to take an oath of office.
And of of course,
it must be done sincerely.
“Anyone should take the oath accurately,
solemnly and sincerely.”
But six of them made changes that…
“showed no respect to Hong Kong’s Basic Law.”
So the Communist Party showed
just how sincerely they respect
Hong Kong’s Basic Law,
by disqualifying those lawmakers.
That’s right,
instead of asking them to retake the oath,
they kicked out them out,
even though they were properly elected.
I’m kidding of course.
It was the Hong Kong High Court
that made that decision.
Beijing totally, definitely,
had absolutely nothing to do with it.
Except for the part where Beijing
issued an “interpretation” of the Basic Law
that said lawmakers should be disqualified
for taking oaths “in a manner which is
not sincere or not solemn,”
basically forcing the courts to kick them out.
Two legislators were expelled back in November
and the other four on July 14.
So how did these no-good elected officials
take their oaths?
Well, Nathan Law added a quote from Gandhi
before he gave the oath.
You can never imprison my mind?
That’s very insincere.
I mean, he’s pretending not to know
that Chinese labor camps have had
brain-imprisoning technology for years.
With the loss of these six seats
in the Hong Kong Legislature,
it means the pro-democracy lawmakers
won’t be able to veto the other
40 more-or-less pro-Beijing lawmakers.
And lot of Hong Kongers are scared
that Beijing will eventually show
just how sincerely it respects
Hong Kong’s Basic Law,
by issuing an “interpretation” that the Communist Party
should take over Hong Kong entirely.
In other news,
India and China might be getting ready
to have a war.
Again.
Only unlike the one they fought in 1962,
now, both countries have nuclear weapons!
Yes, we might have a good old-fashioned
war between two nuclear powers.
Which has never happened before.
Except for the 1999 Kargil War
between India and Pakistan.
Which was over a border dispute.
But not to worry,
this latest conflict between India and China is...
also over a border dispute.
My favorite state-run media the Global Times
is saying war is on the table.
Indian media have reported the government
gave a go-ahead for the emergency purchase
of weapons for a “short, intense war.”
Not a specific one,
but just in general.
The issue centers around a border dispute here.
The Chinese military has been doing
live fire drills in nearby Tibet,
which resulted in rumors of Indian casualties.
Though both sides deny that.
But there are reportedly troops along the border.
This is not looking good.
Can we get Xi Jinping to maybe watch Dangal again?
We’ll have more on this as it develops.
And over to Southern China,
where the region has been suffering
from heavy flooding.
Dozens have died and the damage is widespread.
This really is a terrible tragedy.
But, if you’d like to offer any prayers or words of support,
just be sure you don’t include candle
or prayer hand emojis on your Weibo posts.
Because the government banned them.
That’s because people were using those emojis
on Weibo when they were talking about
the recent death of Chinese human rights lawyer
Liu Xiaobo.
Just be careful though.
Apparently, some people think the prayer emoji
is actually a high five.
So make sure people don’t think
you’re high fiving their terrible tragedy.
Because that would be insincere.
Speaking of crazy things the Communist Party
has banned—Pooh.
Winnie the Pooh.
If you searched for Winnie the Pooh
on Weibo last weekend,
you’d get a message saying
this content is illegal.
Wrapping your head around that
might be as difficult as stealing honey
from a hive of bees.
No official reason was given for the ban.
But here’s everyone’s best guess.
It’s not just China Uncensored
that has noticed a more than passing resemblance
between Chinese leader Xi Jinping
and everyone’s favorite Pooh bear.
Chinese neitzens have also noticed.
Repeatedly.
For years.
Though the ban did happen
right after we made the comparison.
Maybe Xi Jinping watches China Uncensored.
He certainly does if you can trust China Uncensored’s
comment section.
Hey, wait a minute...
In any case, Xi,
if you are indeed watching,
you don’t need to feel threatened.
Just remember,
Pooh had a best friend named Christopher.
All in all,
the incident only spawned 230,000 news articles
about Xi Jinpooh.
I’m sure no one in China’s vast censorship apparatus
is going to be fired over this.
Anyway, if you’ve been feeling concerned
about the obstruction, don’t worry:
Pooh has now been unblocked.
In other news,
according to a new survey by the Hurun Report,
half of China’s millionaires want to leave China.
Remember that the next time
you hear about how great everything in China is,
since as soon as people get some money in China,
their first thought is to get out.
Why?
Well according to the report,
“Education and pollution are
driving China’s rich to emigrate.”
But also, 84% of those surveyed
are also worried that the government will
devalue the yuan.
So where do China’s rich want to go?
Apparently not to the UK.
Most want to move to the US.
Unlike those US businesses that want to move to China.
Speaking of US companies,
the Chinese regime has laid out
some pretty scary new cyber security laws.
You see, they don’t like the idea
that Chinese user information
might be stored outside of China,
where they can’t get access to it.
So they’re requiring foreign companies
to store their data inside China.
That also gives the regime unprecedented access
to foreign companies’ technology.
And Apple has jumped on the bandwagon.
Well, it’s less of a bandwagon
and more of A TERRIBLE IDEA...WAGON!
But the Chinese regime has put a lot of pressure
on Apple over the years.
Banning iTunes Movies and iBooks for instance.
It’s not just Apple either.
The Chinese regime has also targeted Microsoft.
Now you’d think companies like Apple and Microsoft
would get the hint.
But instead, they’re doubling down
on their China operations.
Apple jumps to comply with Chinese censors.
And now Microsoft is working with
the Chinese knockoff of Google, Baidu,
to make driverless cars.
Actually, driverless cars in China could actually be
a big step to improve safety conditions
on the roads.
Especially since it only took a little tap
for this truck to turn all Last Action Hero.
Don’t worry, it was carrying paper.
No one was killed.
Thank goodness.
And don’t go anywhere,
we’ll be right back with a story
about a Chinese spy ship
that came a little too close for comfort
to US shores.
Oh, Pooh! Are you watching on YouTube?
Did you know you can see the full half-hour episode
if you go to our website, ChinaUncensored.tv?
The most wonderful thing about Tigger
is that Tigger keeps himself educated about current events with China Uncensored.