- Having a child is the best thing
that could ever happen to you.
Right?
Wrong.
Children are evil little fun suckers.
But you know what's better?
Owning a dog.
Just look at how cute this little guy is.
Look at him.
One thing that makes dogs better than kids
is how long it takes to train them.
Potty training for example happens way later
in a child's life than in a puppy's life.
Most puppies should be house trained
by the time they've reached four to six months.
But most children don't begin potty training
until they're two years old.
That could be over 4,000 diapers you'll have to change.
(beep) that.
- Something you probably didn't know is owning a dog
could be better for your health than having a child.
One survey found that in the first two years
of a child's life parents can lose up to
730 hours of sleep.
And we all know what sleep deprivation does to you,
higher chance of obesity, diabetes,
memory loss, becoming a zombie, you know.
Dog owners on the other hand have been
scientifically proven to be healthier
than the average person.
According to a 2006 study at the University of Victoria,
dog owners walk an average of 300 minutes per week
compared with non dog owners who only walk
an average of 168 minutes per week.
And you should embrace that dog
who's giving your crotch a good sniff.
Dogs have been known to sniff out cancer.
Finally the biggest reason why dogs are better than kids
is that they wont make you go bankrupt.
The average cost to raise a child born in 2012
could come out to 241,080 dollars.
And this doesn't even include the cost of college,
which could be up to an additional 240,000 dollars
for one measly kid.
On the other hand, living in the city,
the most a dog can cost you is 83,000 dollars.
Now this might seem like a lot,
but compared to a child,
raising a dog is a walk in the park.
Pun totally intended.