so this question is actually that I got one of them that I got from EF online so
EF online you know since the big lockdown in the world we've pushed a lot
of resources and time and effort in the EF online it was actually something that
we were working on so it's good timing but EF online used to be a relatively
static training platform really aimed at enterprise clients so big companies
would train their people based on the leadership principles and but it's it's
a powerful tool and so with the lockdown we've been working on a lot of our
clients through webinars so what we've basically we've we've we've really kind
of we formulate reformulated and our reott aking this online world and so
what we do so we're doing a bunch of live webinars we're doing QA sessions we
got chats going on we got we've got a forum so we got all kinds of things that
are happening what it's doing is it's now it's got we got like a community of
people that are on there all the time they're asking us questions we're just
it's just awesome and so one of the questions that I got asked was from a
from a police officer who was basically talking about he's got some complainers
or he was talking about one complainer in particular and the question was what
advice do you have for dealing with that one officer on your team that is the
debbie downer they complain about everything you know the one no matter
what you ask the team to do that one guy or gal that sucks all the energy out of
the room the buzzkill so I thought that this was a good question and I thought
it was a good question because everybody knows that there's a everybody knows
that person so much that there's a term for it debbie downer right there's an
existing a pre-existing term for that person that's complaining and being a
being negative about everything so a couple
and what school what's really cool about doing this stuff online is now you know
right now I'm reading the question when I'm doing this word where the person's
there like we're talking faces I mean it's not face to face but its face to
face cuz you're on the interwebs and I'm looking right out the person they're
looking right at me and so it's very cool you're having a conversation you
know the one thing that's negative about the this podcast is well it's us reading
our best interpretation of a question through the interwebs
whereas EF online you can they can clarify you can talk you can get details
and it it makes it really make it really cool so so so so back to this question
debbie downer so leadership strategy and tactics I talked about what one of the
solutions that I have for a lot of different leadership problems is
actually putting people in charge so you put somebody in charge of the of a
mission of a project of a task and they want to complain about it cool they can
complain about themselves because they're the one that's running it so
that's that's one option and that that option works a lot right sometimes it
might not work sometimes it might not be feasible mm-hmm
you know you can't take maybe a junior person and put them in charge of a giant
project because it's just you you the way the responsibility has been doled
out from the chain of command it you're not allowed to put you know private
Jackson sir in charge or or or a private Debbie Downer in charge of something so
here's another and this is another option that another thing that you can
do and this is a really incredibly brilliant solution mmm-hmm listen to him
right actually listen to what they have to say so sometimes people complain
because they complained so much no one actually ever listens to them and they
just keep doing it and it has no impact the only impact that it has is it gives
them a little good feeling because they got to put up a little protest right
they can just throw a little shot a little negative shot at the hole at the
man at the system at the mission at the bar they get to
just throw this little complaint out and look it's it's it's kind of within the
rules right like you're it's no one it's it's almost bad to say hey don't want to
hear any complaints right so you complain and you get away with it yeah
so so that's what they do they gotta get this passive-aggressive little
complaining going on so one thing you can do is actually listen to what they
say actually say oh you know what that go actually good okay can you meet me
after this meeting I want to actually deep down and see what you're talking
about all of a sudden they're thrown for a loop just that right there I can solve
the problem and then when they comment when you talk to him actually write down
what they are talking about so those are two solution things and
then you know again cuz EF online is live and I'm actually talking to the
person that's asking me this question so you know I said well hey what's going on
and I started digging out digging into it a little bit and the complaint was a
was again this is a police department a complaint was about the current mission
that was happening mm-hmm and the mission that they had been the mission
that his squad had been in charge if had been shifted and this person would
that's one main thing that this person was complained about why we doing this
this should be someone else blah blah blah and you know it was a hard mission
and then as I'm talking to the leader the leader actually says like well you
know I didn't like the mission either so think about that and just think about
that the leader didn't like the mission and one of the subordinates is
complaining about it and I'm saying of course you're gonna have complete people
complaining about the mission you don't even like the mission hmm you don't even
like the mission and now you're surprised that some of your subordinates
are complaining and one in particular that always complains anyways its
complaining about something that you don't even like so you know here's the
deal like I said talk to the complainer write down their complaints and then
actually give some responses or reasons that explain why things are happening
the way they are happening it's to actually give explanations for what that
individual is complaining about and by the way if you don't have good
explanations then go get them go up your chain of command and say hey boss here's
what's going on you know this is what we're this is what some of my troops are
saying and I agree with these parts can we get some explanations behind this so
it's like um when we got to her body you're gonna be working with Iraqi
soldiers I got all kinds of complaints about that out of the gate and as I've
said many times before I was the chief complainer for about three minutes
before I said okay why are we actually doing this let me think about this and I
didn't have to ask this up in my chain of command cuz I figured out why we were
doing it it was what we needed to do to win the war and so then I was able to
explain you want to complain cool I accept your complaint I agreed with it a
minute ago here's the solution I came to here's the answer here's why we're doing
this and all of a sudden the complaints are gonna go down and then if you've got
people that are complaining about things you give them the answer and you'll move
forward that's why I don't look at complaining as a negative thing
necessarily and by the way if complaining is happening and I let it
continue happen whose fault is that is it Debbie downers fault is it kinda no
no I almost just hooked a knife at you yeah and feels like it that's why he's
gonna be like oh yeah I can't believe Debbie down all right all you gotta do
is not complain yeah just don't know actually I own this oh one of my
subordinates is complaining okay cool how can I solve this how about we figure
out research what the complaints are about and not only does it stop them
from complaining but I'm actually building relationships with the team
because I'm being responsive to what their complaints are and when I do that
I make the team tighter and I make the operational capability of the team
higher and now we can do a better job accomplishing our mission so when you
get a complainer try listening to what the complaints are you can try putting
them in charge you can give them explanations as to why the things are
they're complaining about or because if I got my team complaining I'm
gonna assume that there's some validity to it and if there's no validity to it
well then cool you come to me with a complaint that's completely invalid and
I show you oh oh yeah here's why your complaints invalid because this this and
this so now you're complaining about something that is not true right
you're not gonna continue down that road you know I didn't realize that boss or
you're gonna say well if that's true Boston why what about this and I go okay
let me let me figure that one out for you I'm not sure yeah yeah kind of goes
along with like how you'd say like when you pull the thread you know mm-hmm like
the beginning of that thread is just the complaint all right but when you start
pulling the thread all the way out it's kind of like oh sure there's some valid
stuff in here but uh in a different situation it could be that yeah this
guy's just a complainer this answers to all of this stuff there that maybe like
I don't know maybe it's his laziness or is whatever like all invalid complaints
when you pull out that thread it's like you can see that too right yeah there
could be valid it could be invalid yeah pull the thread find the answer to that
into listening the the most underrated tool of leadership now your ears you can
kind of I mean it's not like so like ludicrous though like to dismiss a
complainer it's not that because you know like how you said everyone knows a
debbie downer and man after a while the complaint can be valid or invalid it's
kind of man you just but you just complain so much you just dismiss them
already you know literally like a Debbie died I'm thinking lot yes but the only
way to break them of that they've gotten into that habit because their complaints
don't have any they don't have any they don't have they don't have any how come
they don't have any result the only thing ours a little a little uh yeah a
little pay what's that what's that thing oh the little dopamine hit when I say
this is the Domus mission we've never done and that's it it just makes me feel
good everyone hurt me you know everyone knows that I think this is dumb
and now I'm just gonna continue to be going through the motions of whatever
but I'm being negative I'm trying other people down but at least I got mine yeah
and in the habit forms that yeah and you can break that habit when someone goes
all this is the dumbest mission I've ever seen oh hey hey I could what what
part of the mission do you think is dumb let me you what part oh let me give mum
let me get my notebook and write and write this down what do you got you know
it's a another on EF online I've been doing these leadership primers of saying
like hey here's a little thing here's a little thing to think about right when
you when you for the reason I use this word leadership primer mm-hm so
hackworth has a book called Vietnam primer get people ready - it was written
in like whatever 60 68 when guys were getting ready to go to Vietnam and so he
wrote Vietnam primer to give them a heads up get them mine right give them
some good tips for for how that to be ready to deploy well think about this
think if think if you were walking to your house and there was a bad guy in
there a criminal had broken in and he and as soon as you walked in he he you
know threw a punch at you or he ran at you or he was not gonna he when you
walked in he's confronting you yeah think if ten seconds before you walked
in you got the message that said hey when you walk in here there's a bad guy
in your house you you're you would respond way better so the leadership
primer EF online the leadership primer is just me saying hey here's a little
something about today here's a little something to put you and one of the
leadership primers I did the other day was get a notebook get a notebook a
little notebook keep it in your pocket when somebody tells you something up the
chain or down the chain of command get out your notebook and write it now yeah
you know how I met how powerful that is think of it if you think of it from
either direction think of you're my subordinate and you tell me something
and I get out my notebook and write it down what are you thinking yeah thing
this cares yep now what if you're my boss and you
say hey joko can you take care of XYZ no yes no problem sir and I get out my
notebook and write it down what do you think okay now your initial thought is
like of course it's if I actually have to follow through I
can't just like take notebooks and throw them away right so you have to actually
take your notes and log them down but that's a little that's a little tool
that you can use you wouldn't be able to get when I was in the times when I was
in the teams you won't be able to find me without a notebook you would not be
able to find me without a notebook and by the way I have a good memory too I
have a good memory doesn't matter when you tell me something I'm gonna write it
down because I hey I don't want to forget it and B I want you to know that
I got you and you know what school three weeks goes by and I go hey echo you
remember you asked me about this piece of gear that you thought we should have
here's the research we actually have more gird yeah you know what I'm saying
or you're my boss and I say hey boss three weeks ago you mentioned this to me
off-the-cuff you said you wanted to know how many guys I had called for this
thing and how me we're gonna have ready for deployment I just want to let you
know the number is 12 right now and I'm gonna have 17 when we go on
deployment yeah and the boss goes so what does that mean
does that mean I'm kissing my boss's ass about no means first of all he had a
reason for asking me that and second of all his trust in me just went up a
little bit in both directions yeah so that's the point here when someone
starts complaining to you look let's face it a lot of time these complaints
they're throwaway comments yeah and obviously you're not letting get thrown
away oh yeah you're getting notebook yeah so little leadership primer and
carry a notebook with you something happens write it down and
actually you know you could say yeah you don't just get out your phone and go
into the notes thing I'm but I kind of don't agree with that let's face it when
people pull out their phone and let's go hold on you know you get if you're gonna
pull your phone and make a note in your phone you got to tell them what you're
doing you got to say hold on a second let me let me let me write that let me
put that in my notes yeah because otherwise they think oh cool I'm telling
him a major problem I've got and he stay he's shooting a text checking the ground
so yes listen to your compile listen when people have complaints listen dig
down pull the thread put them in charge that's an option but also listen to pull
the thread takedown find the solution find the
reason and explain it to him yeah that note-taking thing I can't help but and
this is just an extreme version of and so which I think you kind of like almost
implied a little bit there where you know how like on the movie I don't know
which one all of them I don't know you have the little you know you have the
powerful boss walking around then the little oh yeah no take taking everything
writing every little thing down you know kind of thing don't be that guy writing
everything down no you know because this it's kind of like brothers guys just
know you know we're actually writing down positive things right now I guess
it complains not a positive thing but it's positive but you're saying oh wait
a second there's a problem there's something you don't understand yeah yeah
important stuff yeah you know and it's it almost goes back to like opening your
mouth to begin with you know like you only say important stuff don't just blah
blah blah blah I'm simply with the note-taking almost kind of thing where
if you're this especially if you're a subordinate write notes and also let me
make this perfectly clear you're not taking notes so that you can prove to
them that you're listening take notes so you can log down what they're saying and
you can pull the string on it either direction right that's what you're doing
you're not doing it so oh cool I'm gonna make a good impression no you're doing
it because it's gonna do a bet it's gonna make you do a better job so you
can better support the guys above you and below you in the chain of command so
that we can win rather that's such a good point because that's that
caricature in the movie who's taking notes all you know like the little
taking too many notes I knew guys that would write things down and never do
anything with them yeah just well I have less respect for you action yeah right I
expect some action oh yeah but that's the point right where that's why that
character a character exists in the movie because he's he's displayed and
shown as a kick kiss-ass guy writing every little bit better and you could
tell that's his whole intention is to be the kiss-ass it's like to display that
you know kind of thing where and that's what it comes down to like you're
actually in tension because it's like we're like you always said look man
people can smell that on you if you're like there
if you have some ulterior motive or whatever tension has a strong smell you
can quote me on that the intention has a strong smell and if your intention what
what your intention is will be smelled by the people around you yeah and that's
how it's gonna look it has a lot to it has a yes like the smell is more pungent
in both directions in both directions by the way and my intention is to take care
of you yeah that's that is felt its smelt and
its pungent if mine if my intention is to kiss your ass you can smell that just
as well well mile away cool yes agree