Listen, your time is precious
let no man waste it.
Today, I'm going to give you
the 7 signs he's wasting your time.
So, as always I am Stephan Speaks
or Stephan Labossiere aka Stephan Speaks
back with another dating and relationship advice video
for women, all right.
And as I said, we're going to be talking about
the 7 signs he's wasting your time.
Before we do be sure to like this video,
subscribe to this channel,
share this video
because I'm sure there are
tons of women you know
who are having their time wasted
or they're not seeing
the red flags the way they should
and they need to hear this video.
So, share it and then comment below
what you think is a sign
that a man is wasting your time, all right.
So, let's get right into it.
Number one sign he's wasting your time,
he tells you let's go with the flow.
Now, if you've seen
any of my previous videos
or you've read my book He's Lying Sis,
then you know...
Or even The Man God Has For You,
you know I'm big on this whole
going with the flow issue.
The reality is this,
if he's saying let's go with the flow
that's saying there is no vision,
there is no plan in this situation.
There is no intention with this situation
at least, not what he wants to convey to you.
That is a clear sign that
he is likely going to waste your time
because he doesn't want to be held
to any specific outcome.
He doesn't want to be held to the standard of
getting to know each other for the purpose of
a serious relationship.
The way to get around that
without having to say it directly is
let's go with the flow.
And the reality is that
if you allow that man to be vague with you
then it allows him
to continue to
move in this very vague manner
and essentially not get what you truly desire
in that situation.
So, you've got to make sure that
you get a little bit more clarity
on what is he trying to do here?
What is his intention?
Of course, we don't know
if we're going to get married tomorrow.
We don't know if we're right for each other,
but we at least know
if we're trying to get to know each other
for the purpose of seeing
if we can move forward.
Or if we're just here to "have fun"
or you know, whatever he's aiming for.
So, again, be very careful
of let's go with the flow.
Now, some of you might be thinking
well, I’ve said let's go with the flow, all right, cool.
Now, ask yourself
where was your head
when you were trying to go with the flow with a guy?
Were you really into him?
Were you really intentional about
trying to build a relationship with this man?
Or were you trying
to have companionship in your life
without any of the expectations
that come along with defining
what your intention is.
Be real with yourself because in reality is that
you probably were just looking for companionship
and trying not to define the situation.
Well, guess what,
that's probably what he's doing too.
So, again, no more go with the flow.
Number two sign he's wasting your time,
actually, before I give you the number two sign,
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Now, back to number two,
he's always telling you
how busy he is.
Now listen, don't get me wrong
as a busy man myself
I am not trying to say that
a man simply saying he's busy
is a sign that he is wasting your time or he's lying
or anything like that.
However, when he's always emphasizing it,
when he's always putting it in your face
he's pretty much essentially saying
do not hold me to the standard
of having to put forth
for a certain kind of effort.
Do not give...
Put any expectations on me.
Understand that
I'm not going to be able to call you
or talk to you as much as you would like.
And again,
to some extent there's truth,
but the key here is
the over emphasis of it,
because now that becomes his scapegoat, all right.
And the reality is that chances are
he's not that serious about you.
The man who is... Even if he's busy
he's trying to work with you.
It doesn't mean he can simply
take away all the things
that he has on his plate
and make all the time in the world for you,
there has to be
a compromise or a balance there,
but he will make an effort.
But the guy who always wants to drill in your head
I'm busy, I'm busy, I'm busy,
listen, he's more than likely
going to or is wasting your time.
Now, again, I want you to know with the first two I mentioned
and the next five I'm going to give you
there's always exceptions to the rule.
And that's why it's always important for you
to not just take this signs and run with it,
but to take it, address it,
and let's see if he's willing to correct it
or shed the kind of light
that says okay,
this is acceptable
in this specific situation.
So, always address the issue,
but in most cases,
he's wasting your time, bottom line.
Now, the number three sign
he's wasting your time.
If he's always
consistently canceling on you, all right.
When a man is serious about a woman
he's very, very interested.
He is excited about the opportunity
to get to know you, to build with you,
to see if we can move
to something greater together.
So, to always cancel on you,
to always come up with other plans
or excuses or whatever
is typically a sign of a guy
who's just not really serious.
And again, is wasting your time.
So, you got to be mindful of that.
Again, things do happen
and there are going to be some cancellations
that are legitimate,
but that's why the key word is
consistently cancels.
It's one thing for it to happen one time
or even the first date.
I've seen plenty of scenarios
where first date got canceled for legitimate reasons,
but when it's the first, the second, the third...
I've had clients come to me saying,
I've been talking to this guy
for four, five months
and he's canceled every date,
every time we're supposed to meet up.
Hell, I even have one client who
he cancel every time we're supposed to face time
that was a huge red flag.
But the bottom line is
the consistent constant cancellation
of dates or opportunities
to hang out and see each other
is a sign he is wasting your time
so, do not entertain that.
The number four sign
this man is wasting your time is
he wants to keep all his options open.
Now listen, let me be very clear
in explaining this.
When two people are single
they have the right to do whatever they want
whether people agree with that or not,
the bottom line is
until you are in a committed relationship
individuals are free to
date more than one person, all right.
But when I say he wants to
keep his options open
is when he's saying to you
not only am I...
It's almost like
I'm not trying to commit
to getting to know you
in a serious manner
because I still want to be out there.
So, it isn't a matter of
okay, I date multiple people,
and I'm trying to get to know
different individuals.
And some of you may argue that
if he is trying to date multiple people at the same time
how serious is he?
But I think in fairness
I've seen plenty of situations where initially
guy meets woman
he was already dating
different... Going on dates here and there,
he didn't just automatically shut everything down
he needed to see what was happening here
that's understandable.
But when he's very intentional
about the you know
I don't want to commit
to anything exclusive here.
I don't want to... And again,
I'm... And essentially it's the guy who says
I don't want that relationship,
I'm not sure if I want to go in that direction.
So, it's keeping the options open
in the sense of I'm not really trying to be
in one relationship, all right.
He's just trying to
enjoy himself at the moment,
kind of goes hand in hand with go with the flow.
So, that might sound a little weird the way I explained that.
I hope you get where I'm coming from,
but essentially when
he's not really trying to commit
to the potential of a relationship
a committed relationship, all right.
That is a sign he's wasting your time
you should not get caught up in thinking
I can change this man's mind
or he'll come around later.
Men know initially
if they at least, see potential here.
So, if he's already projecting
he is not looking for something more, all right
because he wants to be able to enjoy multiple people
that is a problem.
The fifth sign he's wasting your time
is when his words
and his actions do not line up.
Now, I always say
an inconsistent action
is a consistent answer.
And the answer is he ain't serious,
he's not serious about you,
he's telling a lie somewhere
because when words
and actions do not line up together
a lie is being told somewhere.
Now, this can go both ways
in the book He's Lying Sis,
which again, I hope you'll listen to
on audible.com,
there's a chapter where talk about
he acts like your boyfriend
but doesn't want a girlfriend.
And so, that kind of guy
is showing you the actions
of him being into you,
him wanting something more,
but his words are saying to you
I don't want a relationship,
you're not my girlfriend,
so on and so forth.
So, don't just think for a second when I say
his words and actions don't line up.
It's a situation where
he... Uhh... He says he wants something
but he acts different, no it can go the other way too.
Either way, it's a problem.
Either way, there's a lie.
Either way, you're going to get caught up
in the game that he's playing, all right.
Because no one who is genuine
about their intentions
is saying one thing
and acting different
or acting one way
and saying something different.
It should all be the same,
it should all come together
so, when you pick up on that
again, address it.
Address it
make sure we're not jumping to any conclusions,
but if his words and actions
are not consistently aligned with each other
that is a problem
that is a sign he is wasting your time.
Number six,
another sign he's wasting your time
he doesn't want to take you on dates.
Listen, I can't tell you
how many situations,
how many women have come to me
dealing with men
who only want to come over
Netflix and chill.
Who have every excuse about
going out and taking you somewhere
and it's all about the convenience,
which I'm going to talk about a little bit later
that's more in their favor, all right.
They want to make it easy and simple
and the reality is that again,
he is probably just aiming for having a "good time."
He's just looking maybe for sexual relations,
maybe just some companionship
to a certain degree,
but the likelihood of him being serious
and trying to
go to a higher level with you
is likely not there.
Now, again, are there men out there
who aren't big on
always going out on dates, they like staying home?
Absolutely, but when you are presenting
or expressing a desire to go on a date
and all this man does is deflect
and all this man does is bring up
about coming to your house or you come to his.
No, he's not serious
again, the guy who's serious about you
is going to want to work with you in that way
is going to want to take you out
to make you feel good,
to show you that he's serious
and very interested in you.
If he's not willing to make that kind of effort
that is a huge red flag.
So, when he's never
taking you out on dates
that man is wasting your time.
And then number seven,
the last sign he's wasting your time
is when everything
is at his convenience.
Again, relationships are about reciprocity
they're give and take, all right.
They're about two people
pouring into each other.
When one individual
makes it all about them
or what is convenient to them
that person is not looking for
a serious healthy relationship.
They're looking to use you
to get what they want.
They're looking to enjoy you
the way that is convenient to them
and doesn't require as much effort
out of them, all right.
You've got to be mindful
that when you start noticing
that there is no compromise,
that there is no flexibility
is always about his way
or no way
that's a problem, all right.
He has to make you
not just a convenience,
there has to be a priority
to getting to know each other.
There has to be a priority
to are we building a relationship together?
If that priority is not there,
then what are we doing?
He's wasting your time
and you're wasting your time dealing with him.
Stop setting yourself up for failure
recognize the issue.
Again, as always addressed the issue
and if it is not corrected
it's time to walk away.
So again,
below in the comment section
let me know
what's a sign that you feel
he's wasting your time?
Maybe it's one of the ones I’ve mentioned,
maybe it's a different one
that I didn't add to this list,
but either way,
I hope you find this video very helpful.
Again, go check out
the audio books on
audible.com
and sign up for their audible plus program
the link is in the description
and in the comment section.
Like this video, share this video,
subscribe this channel,
and I look forward to seeing you in the next one.