(upbeat music)
- How can I know that you're being honest with me,
and did you lie to any of us?
- I don't think I've lied to anybody.
I guess, I could be lying to you.
- [Female Speaker] If you were alone in a room
with a diagnosed sociopath,
what would you ask?
- Have you ever been in love?
- What does empathy look like for you?
- Have you ever felt guilt?
- That's like a complicate question.
(upbeat music)
- How are you doing?
- Pretty good.
- Okay, that's good.
- What's your name?
- Greg.
- All right, nice to meet you, nice to meet you.
- What age were you diagnosed?
- I think I was around 21, 22.
- How old are you?
- I am 33.
- What's your definition of a sociopath?
- A sociopath to me is someone who has
no regard for themselves or for other people.
You're very impulsive, very irresponsible, reckless,
basically like a child.
- Were you surprised when you got diagnosed?
- I don't think surprised is the right word.
I think relieved, like I had felt out of control.
And, I didn't understand why I was doing
what I was doing for a long time.
So, knowing that there was an actual reason
behind why I was doing these things,
it was really like kind of freeing in way.
- What made you think you was a sociopath?
- Waking up in prison was probably my first clue.
- Do you mind me asking what led you to go to prison?
- I've committed several crimes.
I was using drugs and selling to support my habit.
I also have like many retail thefts.
- How long ago did you commit those crimes?
- The last time I committed any crimes was 2011.
- And then, you haven't committed any crime since then?
- I wouldn't say I haven't committed any crimes.
I haven't committed any major crimes since then.
Actually, I don't even drive recklessly anymore
like I used to.
I stopped stealing.
Now that I say it, I don't know if I've been doing crimes.
I think I changed my ways.
- What made you make the decision to change your life?
- Not wanting to go back to prison.
It was one of the worst experiences of my life.
- What do you think people most often misunderstand
about being a sociopath?
- Personally, I think that the stereotype is
that they're incredibly violent and just malicious
just to be mean.
And like, just for it's own sake.
At least for me, that's not how it presents.
More often then not, people
with antisocial personality disorder, sociopaths,
they're just irresponsible, impulsive people.
That can lead to you being a little bit
aggressive and irritable, but the myth that they're violent
and just out of control monsters is blown
way out of proportion.
- Have you ever manipulated someone to benefit you?
- Yeah, of course.
I feel like everyone manipulates other people
to an extent.
We're all trying to get something out
of any given relationship.
- Okay, I haven't really thought of it that way.
For me, it's more like mutual respect
and wanting to do others
for people to make them feel better.
- Yeah, I see what you men.
I look at all of my relationships as very transactional.
And, it's just kind of the way that I engage with the world.
- What are some things that piss you off?
- When people can't admit they're wrong
or made a mistake, that drives me absolutely crazy.
And, I think that's just because I used to do
that same thing.
I used to not ever admit that I was wrong.
- What does empathy look like for you
if you have empathy at all?
- So, I call it cognitive empathy.
It's just me making sure that put myself
in someone else's shoes, like intentionally.
My first response in any given situation is
never empathy.
It's usually some like logical like solution
to the problem.
When a lot of the times, that's not what people need.
They need you to listen and just be there for them.
- Have you ever felt guilt or remorse?
Is that something that you feel?
- That's like a complicated question.
So, at the time, I didn't feel bad
about anything that I did.
I really didn't have a care in the world.
Once I move on from it,
like in my head, it's over to me.
Which isn't great when you cheated on your partner,
and then, they don't forget about that.
- Yeah.
- But, I would. I regret it now,
because I don't like that I put people through that.
And, I don't like that I hurt them,.
But that's now.
That wasn't then.
- I wanted to ask you what your childhood was like.
- Part of the problem is, like I don't store memories
very well, so I don't necessarily remember
much of my childhood.
- Is that a condition associated with being a sociopath?
- From what I've gathered, memory is tied
to emotion fairly strongly.
The way that I experience emotions is not quite as deep
as other people.
So, the emotional tie to like memories is
that makes them stick in your brain
doesn't really happen for me that often.
- Did you tell your parents about your diagnosis
right away?
- No, actually, I didn't.
I've only actually mentioned it to my parents
like one time.
When I told them, they didn't believe me.
They're like, "That's not the Greg I knew."
And, I guess it just speaks to how fooled I had them.
They just didn't believe that I was capable of those things.
- Have you ever been in love,
and do you feel love?
- I think so.
Like, I do experience emotions and love
and connection and closeness.
It's just maybe not to the depth
or like breadth of some other people.
- Who would you say is your favorite person
in your life right now?
- Probably my son, followed very shortly after that
by my partner.
He's one of the main reasons that I've gotten better.
- And, your diagnosis hasn't affected
your parenting in any way?
- Wanting to be the best dad I can for him is
like a huge motivating factor for me,
'cause, I don't want him to live
the same life I've lived.
There's a huge genetic component to sociopathy.
And, the other half of that is your environment.
So, I have to do everything I can
with his environment to overcome his genetics.
- How did you feel when you first met your wife?
- It's always been her,
even though there was a period of time
when I was really not a good boyfriend.
I was not a good partner.
I don't deserve to still have her,
but she stuck it out and knew
that there was a person inside of that version of Greg
that was better.
- Do you go to therapy?
- I have gone to therapy in the past.
At the time I was in prison,
I did have what's called a therapeutic community.
And, they do cognitive behavioral therapy.
And, when I left prison, I didn't continue.
Nowadays it's more like self led.
Like I do self exploration.
And, with my partner, we kind of explore it
if something happens.
She'll gently let me know.
It feels like and accusation,
like you're doing something wrong.
I'll shut down.
I don't like being told what to do.
So, a lot of the times, I don't know,
I require gentle guidance.
- Is that you saying, like you think
you've learned how to cope with being a sociopath?
- So, the way I look at it is
that I've learned how to not destroy my life
by accident.
I can manage to stop those thoughts and impulses
before they lead to actions.
- How can I know that you're being honest with me,
and did you lie to any of us?
- I don't think I've lied to anybody.
I guess I could be lying to you,
but it doesn't serve me to lie to you
or to most people.
I'm here to like share my actual lived experience.
I'm not gonna like to you about it.
- [Female Speaker] And, if you'd like this chance to meet
face to face, it's the moment to do it.
- Hi.
- Nice to meet you.
- Hi. Sorry.
- You're good.
- Nice to meet you.
- Likewise.
- Hey, how are you doing?
- Greg.
- Nathan. Nice to meet you, Greg.
- Likewise.
- I can put a face to you. So, that's cool.
- It's a pretty face.
- It is.
- Nice to meet you.
- Likewise.
Those were great questions. Thank you.
- Thank you.