What's up everybody? This is Charlie from Charisma on Command and today, I'm going to
be doing a Charisma Breakdown of Elliott Hulse. Now, if you're not familiar with Elliott Hulse,
he's a famous YouTuber. There's a lot of things you could break down about the way he is charismatic,
his philosophy in being charismatic, but I want to focus on today how he gives advice
in such a way that it's inspiring and motivational, and moves people to change, because we've
all had the experience of having someone--maybe a friend or close relative--come up ask for
advice and just have our advice fall on deaf ears.
How can you speak to people such that they take your advice and they find it inspiring
and motivational? That's what we're going to focus on today, and we're going to start
with how Elliott begins his answers to these advice asking questions, because you'll notice
he does something very different from the rest of us. He doesn't dive immediately into
the advice. He often starts with a metaphor or story, so let's check it out.
So, you could see yourself and Kay as the powder keg, right? Like the bomb, and Cole
is like the wick. So you, guys, the amount of information that you, guys, have about
the weird shit that's going on, is very explosive.
So that was Elliott's answer to a question on what to do about a love triangle. Here
he is talking about how to deal with negative thoughts.
Now, how do we control the thoughts coming in and out of our heads; negative thoughts
that you are now a victim of, right? Because the thoughts are victimizing you. They come in
like a virus and they take over, just like, you know, any other pathogen, right?
So this is an often overlooked and incredibly important piece of giving advice, because
what we don't realize is that when people come to us, asking for advice, or looking
to be inspired, they, often, are not 100% open. They have a preconceived notion of what
they should do, and they, oftentimes, just want us to confirm that they should take the
easy route. So, your first job in giving advice to someone is not to launch to the most precise,
specific plan of action that they need to take, it's to open them up, and make them
receptive to advice that they might not have been previously open to, and that is why the
metaphor or the story is so powerful. It does it in two ways. One, when you go into direct
advice, that person is checking for flaws, or saying, "Does this make sense?" "Is this
something I want to do?"
When you tell a story or go into metaphor, that person is simply trying to piece together
what does this mean? How does this go? What could possibly happen in the future? So, rather
than working against you, they're actually working with you internally to figure out
the meaning. The second piece is that when you tell someone "This is what you should
do." That advice feels like it is coming from without. It's coming from outside of them.
But, when you tell a story that has that nugget of wisdom inside of it, it feels to that person
as if they're discovering it themselves. This is what the entire movie "Inception" is about.
It's about making that person feel that that idea arose within them, because, actually,
it did. They heard that story and they pieced it together, rather than having you shove
it down their throat.
So once you've opened someone up, your next job is to give them the advice in a way that
it's compelling and captivating, and creates confidence in you as a person, as someone
to be trusted with that advice. So what I want you to know in this next clip is how
Elliott expresses himself through his voice, his body, his tonality. Check this out.
It's in your body, in your viscera. Trust it, trust yourself.
Look at the intensity in his eyes, the way that he changes the volume with which he speaks.
People say trust yourself, they think it means trust the stories, but it goes deeper. Trust
what's going on down in here, brother. I trust my gut. I trust my heart.
If you hear the difference, he puts on different voices for different parts of what he's saying
to communicate different feelings.
Do you see? Sometimes my head doesn't even trust my heart and gut, and I do things. I
do things and my head is like, "Oh, boy, don't do it." But you know who's more intelligent?
My heart and my gut. I know they're more intelligent because they're tapped into something that
the head didn't always see.
So that's a great example of a wide range of expressiveness, and expressiveness is so
important, because what it affords you the ability to do is to talk at length while maintaining
people's attention. We often take for granted that when someone asks for advice, they're
just going to listen to what we say. But the truth of all communication is that if it's
not entertaining, people are tuning out.
Now, the other important thing that's going on here is congruence. I've talked about this
in past videos, but the short of it is that Elliott's eye contact, his voice tonality,
the way he moves matches the content of what he's saying. He uses a different term for
it, and I want to show you that now because I think it's really interesting.
But what you'll notice is that I'm moving all over the place. While I make these videos
I'm rocking often. People are like, "Why do you rock so much when you're talking?" I embody
everything that I say; everything that I say, like I'm saying it right now. I embody. Look
at what I'm doing. I'm using my heart and my balls to bring forth the things that I
want to share with you.
So, Elliott uses determined body, and I think it's very similar to what I have in the past
called congruence; that the things that you are thinking, saying, and doing, when they
match, you come across much stronger, but you have to display it in all aspects of you.
And what Elliott focuses on is in really getting into your body, that means, the way that you
breathe, the way that you look, the way that you move your arms and your legs as you speak.
That is going to make you much, much more engaging when people are listening to you.
Now, I want you and I do a couple of the specifics that Elliott does fantastically in this way,
and the first one is going to be eye contact and the intensity of that.
Become Alpha, my friend, but don't look outside to compare yourself to what that possibly
means, because the world's idea of Alpha
So what I want you to watch in this clip is just how long Elliott is able to hold consistent
intense eye contact with the camera, essentially, with us, on the other end of it, while still
talking passionately. A lot of people struggle with this. When they speak, they look in all
kinds of different places. There is a time and a place this is okay, but as an element
of something that you can do to really, really hook people, holding eye contact while speaking,
and keeping that eye contact intense is huge.
It's completely neurotic. It's an abstraction, and in fact, those who have been calling themselves
Alpha are living in a sea of beta. The next thing I want to touch on is Elliott's expert
use of pauses. Now, this is, actually, a counter intuitive tool, because when you pause while
you're speaking, you can actually hook people in more. They notice the contrast that you're
now not speaking, and they'd lighten up. Now, I will say, I do not do this in these videos
because I don't have my face on camera. And if I'm not speaking, I have very few ways
to hook attention. What Elliott does brilliantly is he maintains attention with eye contact
while he has these long, pregnant pauses. So take a look in this clip.
That's entertaining someone who comes into your home; a friendly person who you like
to have around for a while, and allow them to grow roots for a moment.
So you saw that. Another really interesting thing I'm going to go back and play it just
very, very quickly, is that Elliott doesn't transition into what he says. He has this
pause, and then, he moves on. And that leaves people trying to catch up how is this related
to what he said before. And, like I said, previously, with a metaphor, when people are
working to figure out how what you're saying pieces together, they're not working against
you, which means that they're more open to the advice that you have to give. Take a look
again.
And allow them to grow roots for a moment. There are certain thoughts that make their way
into the home of your consciousness. They knock on the door.
More embodying, really, really good. Let the thoughts in or close the door. Slam the door
shut. Okay?
Those pauses with eye contact will keep people hooked. You don't have to worry about losing
them as long as you have eye contact. Now, that's not the only way that you can employ
pauses, because there are other ways to keep people hooked, even when you're not speaking,
and I want to touch on those now.
If there's something happening in you, there's a flowering in you
So wait a second. What's going on in this clip? Elliott is not looking anywhere remotely
near the camera. He's got this really long 4- 5-second pause, yet it's still engaging,
especially if you watch the whole video. Why? And the reason is because there are two ways
to really hook people with pauses. One is by communicating with your eyes, body language,
that you are still speaking, and the other is by placing the pause in an area where people
are really, really excited to hear what comes next. In this case, he placed it in the middle
of the sentence. "If there is a flowering in you" and his tonality, and the fact that
if, normally, precedes if-then statement, we are committed to sticking with him. And
because he's able to take more times saying what he says, we assume that what he says
is more powerful for it. So, go ahead and watch this clip back.
If there's something happening in you, there's a flowering in you, it is your responsibility
to offer that flower to the world. And, again, the second pause, he's got the eye contact,
because the thought has been completed. Now, those are two really easy ways. You don't
necessarily need to think of this every time, but you might want to try inserting pauses
in the conversation and seeing how people respond to them. Can you hook people with
your eyes, or can you hook them with a well-placed pause? So, what all these adds up to is conviction.
Because at this point, Elliott has opened the person up. He's engaged them with expressiveness,
with pauses, with intense eye contact. And, now, he hammers his advice home, his point
home, with conviction.
And, interestingly enough, the way that that conviction is communicated is in the same
way that Elliott hooked his audience. It's the eye contact, the expressiveness, and the
intensity. So take a look at this next clip. I'll talk in another video. This has already
run very long about the fountain of conviction, where you can build those beliefs, and Elliott's
philosophies are great for that. But, for now, just notice how all those pieces add
up to you feeling like Elliott believed 100% what he says, and, probably, that belief is
going to rub off on you as you watch it.
Success is not doing the right thing, and it, definitely, isn't doing the right thing
the first time. Success is having the courage to move in the direction of your dreams. Move
in the direction that your heart is taking you. That is what success is, as you are progressively
realizing that thing. People think success is I've got a plan and I go and work out that
plan. It never ever, ever, ever, ever works that way.
So you can check out the whole video if want. I'll throw a link in the description, but
the basic points for the purposes of this video is that the way to get people to listen
to your advice, and to motivate them is, one, open them up. Metaphor is really great. Two,
get them to believe in you as a person. Expressiveness, congruence, embodying what you say is critical
for maintaining people's attention. And then, third, at the end, once they're open, once
they trust you as a person, then, you hammer your point home with conviction, and that
comes true in all the things we covered--the eye contact, the pauses, all of that stuff.
Now, if you are interested in developing the kind of confidence that Elliott clearly demonstrates
throughout this video, we created another video with one technique that will help you
turn your most confident self on inside of 60 seconds. This is a technique that you can
use prior to an interview, a date, or just in front of somebody that, maybe, makes you
a little bit nervous. So, if you're interested in getting that, go ahead and click the link
now, it will take you to another page where you can drop your email, and you can watch
that video. It takes just a few minutes to watch and you can, literally, implement it
inside of one minute. If you are interested and have other video ideas for me that I could
do, I'm thinking one on Elliott's philosophies, how they underpin much of this; if you got
that, or just would like to see some other ideas, go ahead and write them in the comments.
If you want to get more of these videos, I'm doing one a week; all different kinds of stuff,
from being more charismatic, personal development, but a lot of these breakdown videos. So, go
ahead and subscribe if you'd like to see those, and, as always, I'm excited and looking forward
to seeing you in the next video.