If you're craving zombies, insane cults, magic butterflies, corrupt politicians, and crazy
alien invaders, than look no further than Earthbound on the Super Nintendo!
Released in 1995, Earthbound was very off-putting when you saw it on the shelf at the game store
or when you saw an advertisement for it.
If you remember seeing ads that said "This game stinks", then you've seen a classic Earthbound
ad.
Of course, this game doesn't stink, just the nifty scratch and sniff stickers and cards
they packaged with the game did, which those actually stunk quite a bit.
Your mission in Earthbound is to take this magic stone a little bug called Buzz Buzz
gives you, who came in a meteorite, and gather the power of special spots that only Ness,
our hero, can enter.
These "Your Sanctuary" locations are all over the world of Earthbound, and he and his 3
friends must stop the evil alien invader called Giygas, who's attacking from the past but
is also attacking and exists in the future and the present.
There's an Apple of Enlightenment you'll never see, and you'll fight zombies,
clocks, fire hydrants, taxi cabs, giant piles of vomit, road signs, hippies, bag ladies,
electrocuted men, and many more enemies, all in the name of saving the world.
So yeah, if you haven't caught on yet, the plot of Earthbound is a little more...strange
than some other mid 90's role playing games.
Earthbound is not to be taken too seriously during most of the game.
Hardly any of the characters take their situations seriously, which helps aid Earthbound’s
strongest area: The humor.
There's no other game that'll leave you grinning from ear to ear during cut-scenes or other
random conversations with characters.
From encounters with a strange philosophy club in Summers, a crime boss at a flea market
in Twoson, as well as oddly shaped creatures called Mr. Saturn, you'll never be short of
a laugh or a smile during your adventure.
Earthbound's far to modern for potions and swords and such, but it's not above poking
fun at the Role Playing Game genre as a whole, or good ol' fashioned American culture.
You'll constantly be stopped by your old neighbor and playmate, Pokey, during your quest to
save the world.
He's big, mean, and somehow keeps mucking up your plans.
He's a real jerk, constantly snubbing you or sending his toadies to stop Ness and his
friends in their tracks.
And as far as adversaries in video games go, Pokey is more than a nuisance, he's the ultimate
backstabbing goon.
He's your arch enemy, and he used to be your best friend.
A classic case of betrayal here in Earthbound, but Pokey is such a snobby dork that you just
have to hate him.
There's an evil statue, magical worlds, jump suit wearing gangs, cultists who must paint
everything blue, and sailors who get seasick.
Everything about Earthbound makes me wonder how Ness and his friends remain sane.
Ness never voices any objection during the game, playing the role of a classic silent
protagonist very well.
Of course, you have to call your Dad to take care of the game's record keeping in case
your adventure doesn't go well, and Ness needs to call him Mom back
home so he doesn't get homesick.
She'll also make sure you don't go saving the world in your pajamas, since it's a little
unbecoming of a courageous kid like Ness.
There are all sorts of awesome events in Earthbound that very memorable: you'll get a touring
band out of debt, put sticky paper in a tent to catch a whole cities’ worth of
zombies, and travel under the earth's crust to find a land of dinosaurs.
It's a remarkable adventure, and one you're not going to want to miss out on.
Of course, the cost of entry for Earthbound is a little high, with eBay auctions insanely
high for a used copy of the game.
It sometimes feels like Nintendo of America doesn't want anyone to play this game anymore,
since they haven't translated and released the other games in the series, or put Earthbound
on the virtual console.
After all, Earthbound sold horribly in the mid 90s, so there's not millions of carts
floating around, so a high cost of admission is the price to pay to join Ness on this classic
adventure.
But, its money well spent, because you'll never forget that first trip through Earthbound,
and you'll keep coming back after words.