I actually studied psychology and didn't hear about this until I was working and somebody
came in and ran this as an activity for our team.
I hadn't considered that you view yourself one way and there are all of these different
ways that you are viewed.
Okay, pause there – I flew to Montana to chat with Hank Green about himself.
Or rather, how well he knows himself.
You see, there’s this superpower that can help you become happier and more successful:
self-awareness – how much someone’s views of themself are in touch with what they’re
actually like.
It’s also called self-knowledge or private self-consciousness.
You might roll your eyes and think that I’m a shill for Headspace and the reason why I
haven’t posted videos over the summer is because I’ve been lying on my balcony drunk
on mindfulness!
Now, I want you to take a deep breath, take a step back from your skepticism and consider
that… people who have greater self-awareness of their feelings and motivations have been
found to have better psychological well-being.
It’s also been linked to better interpersonal relationships and is an important predictor
of successful leadership.
So… how can we develop a better understanding of ourselves?
Well, I’m glad you asked because there are a few ways you can deepen self-awareness.
And to test out one of them, I had this bright idea to fly to Montana, sit down with Hank
Green and magically deepen his self-awareness.
Hello.
Hi Hank.
How are you doing?
Good.
We're going to have a look at a technique that you can use to improve your self awareness
just with a pen and paper.
Oh Gosh.
It's like Art Attack meets Psychology.
And this technique is called the Johari Window.
or Johari Window, depending on how you pronounce it, actually, it's a Portmanteau I suppose
you could say of two people's names.
So there were two psychologists, whose last names are forgotten in history.
Because they are now just known for the Johari Window
Although a quick search does reveal their surnames are Luft and Ingham.
Anyway, the Johari window is used to think about the known and unknown parts of the self
– basically you have to consider how you see yourself and how others see you.
Let’s start off with a pen and a single piece of paper.
Draw what looks like a window with four panes – these represent different areas of you.
The first pane is the arena – aspects of your personality that are known to you and
known to others.
The second pane is called the façade – things that you know, but you’ve hidden to others.
Maybe you still love Justin Bieber or you’re actually more introverted than you act around
your friends.
The third pane is your blind spot – things that are known to others, but not known to
you.
Perhaps you have a tendency to fidget or micromanage people at work without realising it.
And the last pane is the unknown – things that neither you nor others know about you.
Then, both you and someone who knows you well – like a colleague or romantic partner – have
to pick out personality traits that describe you.
You have to pick from a list of adjectives, some words that describe your personality.
Okay.
I'm also going to pick words that describe your personality and then we will kind of
map them out across here depending on which ones are the same and which ones are different.
I'm getting like free self-discovery here!
That's a lot of words.
How many do I have to pick?
Um, the, I would say 10.
I'm just going to write them down on this bag.
Get some paper!
There's no paper.
So these are some personality traits.
Some are nuances of personality, some are personality traits, some of what you would
call it, personality aspects which are like subsets of traits.
Because some of them for example, are introverted and extroverted, so they're big overarching
things that you can break down into more detail or like conscientious is on there, I think,
which is another big trait, right?
But then there's other things like calm and clever and intelligent, which are kind of
aspects of a personality.
I'm going to start at the bottom.
Let me go in reverse alphabetical order and start with witty.
Witty.
Okay.
I think that people think I'm witty.
I hope so.
Anyway.
It's something that I strive to be, but I think they should be how you view yourself.
Yeah.
That's very hard.
Silly.
I'll take silly.
Okay.
I definitely think that I'm silly.
Um, you're probably going to have to choose more than that.
yeah, no, I got us, I got some.
Um, there's, there's a bunch in here that I am friendly.
I'm friendly.
You are friendly.
Yeah.
Okay.
Then confirmed at least one.
Adaptable, caring, happy.
Independent.
Yeah.
How many do I have?
Seven.
Do I need three more?
Let's go ten.
Okay.
Three more.
I almost want to ask you but I can't, I have to ask me.
Introspection is difficult.
Yeah.
Apparently no one ever asks me to look at myself.
Able.
I'll take intelligent and loving.
What did we learn today?
Would you like to hear the 10 words that I picked?
Sure.
We'll do a recap.
Is it on a bag?
It's on my iPad.
I mean low tech, high tech, like nothing in between.
We have paper!
I said that you're calm.
Oh, I feel like, no, I feel calm, but I feel like no one would ever say that about me.
Really?
I feel like you're very calm.
Have you seen me on camera?
Clever.
Did I say that one?
No, I said that.
Well clever and witty are similar.
I was just seeing if you had any overlap.
Introverted.
Oh Hm.
Hm Hm.
Hm.
Okay.
Uh, trustworthy.
Sensible, modest, logical.
But then – Hank and I had almost no overlapping words.
I picked introverted twice.
Your bad at the game.
Dependable.
And witty.
Yeah, we have one overlap.
And I started freaking out that I’d flown to Montana for a journey of self-discovery
that was falling apart right in front of me.
When you play games, they don't always go according to plan.
Were we hoping for more things?
Yes we were hoping for more overlap!
You think I'm introverted?
Like I'm not saying I'm not introverted.
I just think wouldn't put it on the list of things.
Yeah, it's true.
I see you as someone who enjoys quiet time.
So here’s my attempt to use science to explain, and perhaps rescue, this situation.
Psychologists say it’s normal to act a little differently at work than you do at home (which
I’m sure we can all relate to).
Hank’s façade includes words like silly, caring, and loving, which perhaps describe
aspects of his personality that come out more around friends and family, but less at work.
We did both use words related to intelligence, so that’s in Hank’s arena – aspects
of his personality that are known to both him and others.
And, clearly, we didn’t agree on everything.
You think I'm introverted?
This was probably because I don’t know Hank super well.
But really, this is the whole point of doing this exercise and increasing your self awareness!
To have better relationships – ones that are more transparent and understanding – you
should aim to increase what you and others know about yourself.
And the two easiest ways to do this are sharing more information about yourself – decreasing
your hidden self.
And asking for feedback – trying to understand your blind spots.
I know these suggestions sound – a little bit – like I’m drunk on mindfulness on
my balcony.
Because it’s HARD to share things and ask for feedback in real life.
But think about it this way: Is the way others see you similar to the way you see yourself?
If it’s vastly different, that’s stressful for you and causes unnecessary anxiety.
You probably don’t know yourself as well as you think, and beyond the Johari window,
having a growth mindset can help you be more aware of your abilities.
Hank explores this and other benefits of self-awareness over on SciShow Psych!
Please go and check out their channel, they are just wonderful, self-aware people.
And a big thank you to my Patrons for funding my trip to Montana!
I experienced every bear pun known to humankind, and I’m a stronger person
for it.