'Wild man! Whooo Hooo.'
Welcome back to my Dark Corner of this Sick World
'Personally I'd like to talk about something cheery, like homicidal maniacs'
Final Exam is a college slasher movie, a genre from which we know what to expect
'It just feels creepy'
Not really
'Personally I think it might be sexy'
Not that either
'It's so boring'
There you go
'Oh come on, it might not be that bad'
There are two sides to Final Exam, firstly the side that follows the established cliches of the genre
'Shh, what was that? I heard something’
Like the opening scene of kids parked in a car
Standard practice; open on activity, and give the other characters something to be scared of -
this is happening, it could have been us!
'Did you hear what happened at march college?'
Except it happened at another college
'Come on, let's change the subject to something a little less drastic'
And no one cares.
‘I got better things to do'
Accepted wisdom is: cliches are cliches cos they work.
The caveat to that is: if you use them right.
'I wonder if everyone else knows something we don't'
We don't see another murder for about an hour, but that's okay too, you use that time to build tension
and create characters we care about so the final bloodbath will mean something
'What could happen to me?'
Number 1, you don't build tension by having characters tempt fate and portent their own end.
'One of these days you're gonna get yours'
Number 2, you don't establish a character by having their entire personality printed on their shirt
'I can't help it, because I'm offensive'
It never gets any more subtle than
'Good grades can't hurt'
'Neither can good times'
One of these girls lives, the other one dies - place your bets
'See how easy it is?'
and how easy I am
'Is it that obvious'
This of course is the major cliche of the genre and pretty much the whole first hour is showing us who is good
'Well I gotta go study'
who is bad ...
'The more damage the better'
and that the fraternity system is a disgrace
And again, while not original, this is how it goes, this has worked in other films,
'I mean it worked out really well didn't it'
but in those films, the 'good' people do something
Courtney is top-billed, the smart girl, the good girl, and does nothing but sit in her room studying
'I sound like a silly girl don't I'
That doesn't make her look good, it makes her look miserable
'I'm still happy - it's just that I'm depressed'
She doesn't help anyone, she doesn't buck the fraternity system.
'Last year a girl killed herself cos a sorority wouldn't accept her'
I thought that line might lead somewhere but no such luck.
The film spends way more time with the fun people, who drink, have sex and pull pranks
a prank that was probably in pretty bad taste in the 80s and is in appalling taste now so we won't dwell on it
'I thought it was pretty funny myself, didn't you?'
We know Courtney will survive, because she hasn't done anything bad - like that kid who got hazed
Was there no one more vulnerable about?
but more importantly, that kid didn't really break the horror movie rules
'Well that's terrible'
This is the other side to Final Exam, the side that wants to subvert the rules
'If that red-headed wife of mine ever finds out, I'm dead'
so the professor nailing his student lives,
while hapless nerd radish
This is Final Exam's BIG IDEA
'People are killed everyday for no reason at all'
The murderer's identity is never revealed and he's not targeting jocks or the sexually precocious
'I mean, senseless murders are a modern phenomenon'
Anyone could die
- and if I cared about even some of the characters, that might matter.
'Being brilliant has it's drawbacks'
Whether you're following cliches or subverting them the same rule applies;
nothing compensates for clumsy storytelling.
'It's only logical'
Appropriately for a college slasher this seems to have become a lecture so, in conclusion,
fans of the genre will discount most of what I just said if you do some good shock reveals
if you get the killings right
This is what we spent the movie waiting for?
deliver!
Well some cliches you gotta have.
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Subverts in cliches can work or not.
What are your favorite and least favorite subversions comments below
We've all been the victim of a harmless college prank