[audience applause]
Megan: As you are all aware,
there have been some complications
with the Apollo 13 mission.
We will no longer be returning to the surface
of the moon.
Our sole priority is getting our men home safely.
[shouted questions]
- Yeah, you there.
- Hello, uh, John Fudge, Manhattan News Network.
Uh, what kind of complications exactly?
- Well it appears the intake valve sparked
when the tanks were rotated,
causing a fuel line to ignite.
We believe this caused a Main bus B undervolt
leading to a shortage of oxygen
due to a lack of voltage.
[audience laughs]
- What?
[audience laughs]
- My apologies.
Um, how can I put this into layman's terms.
Okay, imagine that the ship is a car.
Reporters: Ohh.
John: Why didn't you just say so!
Uh, what make?
- Uh, it doesn't matter, it's just a metaphor.
- [softly] Just a metaphor.
Megan: So, if we are imagining
that the ship is a car,
it's as if the car has stalled out.
Make sense?
[all agreeing]
Megan: Excellent, so if there are no further questions
on that topic--
- Uh, ma'am, Donny Vulture, New York Newspaper.
So when uh, this space car stalled out,
did it make more of a [high pitched vrooming noise]
or more of a [low sputtering noise],
kind of a...
Garet: Yeah.
- Kind of a sound.
- There's no noise in space.
- Bleeh!
- Okay, guys, forget the car.
There's not actually a car, okay?
We believe we've identified all problem areas
on the ship, and we have the best minds at NASA
on the job.
- Joe Emburgio, Staten Island Advance.
When's the last time the oil got changed?
[audience chuckles]
- There's no oil.
- Oh, well there's your problem.
Donny: That is true.
- Hey, um, you want me to call my guy?
He's in Queens but he'll do roadsides for ya'.
[all agreeing]
Megan: Again, we are not actually talking
about a car here, okay?
Can we keep the questions to the topic at hand?
We have three men stranded in space for goodness' sake.
- They should just stay up there
and pick up space chicks.
- Space chicks love a hot ride,
even if it don't run right now.
[audience laughs]
- They can't just stay up there,
they're running out of oxygen.
John: I, I got my guy on the line,
uh, he wants to know how many miles it's got on it.
- At least 200,000.
- Oh yeah, he can't do dat.
[audience chuckles]
- Does anybody have a real question.
Jim: Uh yeah, uh, Jim Turkey,
Popular Mechanics, I was just cur--
Megan: Nope, we're not doing that one.
- You said there was a lack of voltage a moment ago,
is that correct?
- Yes, that's actually correct.
Thank you so much.
See, in order to get CO2 filtration back up
and avoid asphyxiation, we need our men to--
- Uh, could they simply flag down another space car
and jump it?
- Yeah, when my car stalls out I just jump it
with my wife's car.
- That's what I'm talking about right there.
- Yeah.
Megan: We do not have a second rocket.
Joe: Oh boy, what do you drive?
- I don't drive a rocket.
- You don't drive?
It's 1970 lady, women drive.
[applause]
Jessica: Call AAA.
[audience laughs]
- AAA policy states that they gotta pick up
any registered vehicle.
Not car, ve-hi-cle.
[audience laughs]
- What intersection did you say you were at again?
[audience applause]
- [whispering] Thank you for watching the sketch.
- Thank you for watching the sketch.
- [whispering] Please like and subscribe.
- Please like and subscribe.
- [whispering] And tell everyone
how great of an actor Jason Gray is
- I'm not gonna say that one.
- No, say it.
[whispering] It's the most important part.
- And tell everyone how great of an actor Jason is.
[soft applause]