So February is teen dating
Violence Awareness Month.
An while we get set to
celebrate Valentine's Day,
we thought it was important to
talk about what abuse looks
like and how to spot the signs.
The statistics are shocking.
Did you know that nationwide
one in three teens,
one in three teenagers,
experience physical, sexual,
or emotional abuse from someone
they were in a relationship with
and that's before they even become adults.
So what can we do in?
How can we stop the violence joining
me now is Gina Lowe from domestic
violence services of Snohomish County.
Gina, thank you for being here.
Hi Emily, thank you for having me
absolutely and so one of my
first questions for you is.
Isn't it true that some gestures that can?
I don't know, seem romantic can
actually be a form of abuse,
and that a recent study found
that over half of college students
say they don't even know how
to identify dating abuse.
Yeah, definitely a lot of abusive
behaviors are definitely normalized
in a lot of the pop culture that I
know me as a particularly as a teen.
I used to watch a lot of movies,
like for example in the notebook where
there were situations where were Noah
would send letters to Allie consistently,
even though she never responded back,
and that is actually whenever
that's not reciprocated.
That could lead to stalking behaviors.
No one respects those boundaries,
so that's something that's
really important to understand.
Is a lot of these types of behaviors
and gestures are really promoted in our
culture and in that romantic culture,
particularly, you know,
that's a really, really good point.
'cause we don't think
about that. I mean, thinking about,
you know some teen movies that
are very popular with certain
things like vampires and whatnot.
But as parents you know,
we educate our children
this from a very young age.
It seems like culture kind of
fights back against that education,
but sadly we know abuse can
happen to anyone so.
What are some of the signs?
Yeah, so a lot of there's so many
different signs that you can look for.
One big sign is seeing
excessive texting a lot,
especially right now during the
pandemic alot of folks are interacting
on line and that's a real sign when
someone is constantly texting you
when you're busy or during class.
And that's a really big sign that
someone doesn't respect your boundaries.
Or if someone doesn't respect no or
pressures you into like for example
kissing on the first date or holding
hands when you don't feel like it so.
Those are some good early warning
signs to lookout for to see.
Does this person respect my boundaries as
parents though? I mean,
are there any signs we can look
at for our children to make sure
that they're not being abused?
Yeah, definitely.
I think one big thing to look
for is a change in behavior.
Like if anything out of place is anything
they're doing out of the ordinary.
Are they isolating themselves
from friends and family?
That's a big sign because a
lot of times abusers try to
isolate victims and survivors,
so that's something to really
look for is to look if they
are withdrawing from their
friend groups and their family.
That's right, yeah, advice statistics show.
But some teams are a higher risk than others.
Let's talk about the disproportionate
numbers when it comes to race.
Yeah, so black teens are more likely
to experience physical dating,
abuse and violence than their
white and Latina X counterparts,
according to a youth Risk behavior survey.
So one really important thing is
to understand how we are under
serving the black community.
And there's a lot of.
There's a lot of issues that are faced.
For example, a lot of folks might
not want to portray the black
community as a violent community.
There's already a stereotype about that,
so people are less likely to reach out.
I hope so.
That's something that we have to
really understand is that stigma and
also what how do institutions have to
do to make people feel comfortable
coming forward and believing survivors,
particularly black survivors,
are more likely to be not believed by a
lot of people are not taken seriously.
It's very similar in the medical
field where a lot of black folks don't
get the health care that they need,
but it could be very similar in terms
of domestic violence dating violence,
so that's something to really keep in mind.
And it's not just that,
it's just so much of the culture and
technology seems to be against us all.
Where can people go to
find out more information?
Maybe tips on how to monitor
your children's technology?
Yeah, definitely.
So there isn't a lot of great resources.
For example, this week I'm actually
hosting a workshop on digital boundaries
and that you can find that on our
website www.dvs-snoco.org and that is
something that is really important to
understand what technology is being
used and what settings can help.
You can have settings and what
kind of digital boundaries do
you have with your partner?
And things like that.
Do you know? Thank you so much for
being here this morning. We really,
really appreciate all your insight.
And remember, help is always out
there and we have a link to the
resources at newdaynorthwest.com.
Reach out if you need to.
There is someone out there to help
will be right back, stick around.