Trisha Paytas is greatly affecting your mental health but so are a lot of other
people in your life and today we're gonna talk about how to fix that what is
up everybody this is Chris from the rewired soul where we talk about the
problem but focus on the solution and if you're new to my channel my channel is
all about mental health and sometimes what I like to do is take to the topics
going on in the YouTube community and try to see what lessons we can learn to
improve our own mental and emotional well-being so if you're into that make
sure you subscribe and bring that notification bell and follow me over on
instagram and twitter at the rewired soul all right so yeah Trisha Paytas I
did some videos already on her coming out as all these other things but anyway
she just uploaded a new video today she's getting more backlash she came out
and discussed her experience on coming out day she was recently on the doctors
she's been retweeting a bunch of stuff about that and yeah she still has a
bunch of people who are really upset and I'm sitting here and I'm looking at I'm
like okay who's upset and why and we definitely need to talk about it so just
so you know before I move forward with this I am NOT diagnosing Trisha Paytas
she has openly discussed the mental health struggles that she has had okay
if anything I want people to be a little bit more compassionate towards Trisha
Paytas and I think if you do this it'll help you kind of chill a little bit
because what I want to talk about is how we allow people to upset us who are
clearly struggling with a mental illness okay and I'll start by sharing a little
bit of a story so as many of you know hi I'm Chris I'm an addict and alcoholic
I've been in recovery for a little over seven years now my drugs of choice
started with alcohol got into prescription opioids but I tested just
about everything and stored things and drink things and took things and it was
a hot mess but anyways through my recovery I also ended up working out a
drug and alcohol to and Senator all right and I I did groups
I did one-on-one sessions and everything like that and yeah like for those of you
who don't know as well I am half African American and I don't
look it but yes your boy is half black so one day I was you know doing a group
like I always did I did groups 5 days a week and one day I was doing the group
and nobody had warned me that one of the new clients who came in had syndrome all
right and yeah I am in the middle of doing my group and then all of a sudden
boom and bomb like n bomb hard are alright and there were some other
outbursts and everything like that and like I just kept with the flow and I got
through it you know what I mean I kept my composure or whatever but anyways
most clients in treatment they're there for 3060 days whatever it is I remember
before one of the groups one of the clients came up to me a black gentleman
he's like I love your groups I love what you do but I can't go in there you know
with that dude who you know it has these outbursts of these racial slurs you know
what I mean I'm like I get it right and I'm not gonna force this guy to sit in a
group if he's clearly uh you know getting offended by a but I had a
heart-to-heart with him I'm like this dude is struggling with an illness right
Tourette's syndrome and all of us in here we're struggling with a disease of
addiction you know what I mean and what I was trying to teach him is something
that I had to learn was that we have to recognize when people are struggling
with certain illnesses and we have to quit taking it so personally like we
like trust me I I'm a one sensitive dude I can get defensive
I could take things so personally but I have to remind myself on a daily basis
like not everything is about me not everything is meant to offend right so
when we look at Trisha Paytas participators has been very vocal about
her mental health issues and recently you know she again
explained what it was like to have borderline personality disorder and
something I try to do is I try to educate people on what certain symptoms
look like all right so for example somebody who suffers from Tourette's
syndrome is going to have outburst all right potentially saying offensive
things now somebody who struggles with borderline personality disorder
you've got to educate yourself about these symptoms and say what comes along
with these symptoms right certain attention seeking behaviors on the
doctors Church of Paytas talked about kind of lacking a sense of self and this
kind of draws people with BPD towards different identities and everything like
that so when I see people in the community getting offended by this I
wish more people would understand the illness all right and like I said - like
I worked with many people who struggle with addiction and part of my job was
also working with loved ones so this video isn't necessarily about Trisha
Paytas it's for you because how many people in your life are
struggling with a mental illness and you take it personally what they do right
like when I was working with family members like addiction like if any of
you have an addict in your life right like I hope they're better now but when
they're in their active addiction we can be the most selfish self-centered people
we become liars cheats and fees and everything like that and it's not an
excuse but part of the disease of addiction is we do these awful things so
when I'm working with family members or loved ones I try to remind them I'm like
this is not a bad person this is a sick person like I'm very fortunate that my
mom I sound fortunate and unfortunate cause my mom is actually an alcoholic in
recovery she had seven years sober when she helped save my life and get me sober
but in my addiction I was such a terrible person I was such a terrible
son but because she had through that experience like she didn't
just let me off the hook she set up boundaries but she understood that I
wasn't just this evil kid you know doing these awful things like I was struggling
with the disease of addiction right and through my own recovery process part of
me overcoming my addiction and one of the ways I'm able to stay sober today I
made a video about this just the other day is I had to make amends to people I
had to apologize but a huge part of that was changing my behaviors and I no
longer do all the terrible things that I used to do but part of this like to help
you out like people like Trisha Paytas or other people in your life they may
never they may never get better but when we come from a place of some kind of
empathy and compassion and understand that they're struggling with an illness
we can kind of chill out and realize okay they are not purposely trying to
hurt me this is part of their mental illness so something that I learned a
long time ago through my own recovery program I'm gonna do a little quote for
you real quick but it said this and I go back to it over and over and over again
if any of you out there know which book this comes from its from page 67 first
paragraph write it down all of you if you need to pause take out a pen and a
paper but come back to this every time someone pisses you off okay though we
did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us they like ourselves
were sick too we asked God to help us show them the
same tolerance pity and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend
when a person offended we said to ourselves this is a sick man or woman
how can I be helpful to him or her God save me from being angry thy will be
done all right even if you're not into the God thing like I'm not religious
oh hey but like I look at the message of that paragraph and it's telling me to
now look at people as bad people but look at people as sick people and how
would I treat a sick friend what helps me through this
I look at it as a spiritual sickness and I ask myself how would I treat somebody
with a physical sickness right like let's say let's say I had a loved one
who was going through chemotherapy right and they threw up on me okay like am I
gonna get mad at them because if struggling with a sickness know that
sucks you know what I mean I'm gonna try to be there and help them right but when
it comes to mental illness we treat them completely differently and in my opinion
it's because we can see physical illness we can't see mental health issues you
know what I mean so this will help you kind of calm your own emotions when
other people are treating you poorly like when I first got sober I used to
sit there and just repeat in my head I'm like this person is spiritually sick
this person is spiritually sick like I had to just keep saying it over and over
and over again is something I'm trying to get back in the habit of doing when I
feel that anger coming up because I treat sick people much differently than
I treat you know someone I feel is a bad person so the last thing I'm gonna talk
about because I know a ton of you have already probably left comments down
below saying like she needs to be held accountable and she needs to be held
responsible and the person in my life who struggles with a mental illness and
it's doing this they need to take accountability and responsibility I will
say this all right how much control do we have over that other person all right
the time the energy the mental effort that we're putting into that and being
angry and upset let me ask you this and you can leave a comment down below how's
that working out for us how's it working out for us getting angry and upset about
someone's illness and the things that happen as a result of it right so what's
the solution we gotta learn to set up boundaries and
sometimes that's hard like for example like if it's if it's Trisha Paytas real
easy if you don't know her stop watching your stuff
stop looking at Twitter see what's going on now if it's a friend or family member
much different right but if the other person isn't at least working on getting
better we have to set up boundaries and we have to distance ourselves from them
it is possible to love somebody from a distance like my mom loved me from a
distance until I got clean and sober right I had to put in the work I had to
put in the effort now how much work and effort Trish was putting in I have
absolutely no idea like none of us are in a position to gauge how much effort
someone is putting in you know what I mean but we have to remember that we are
in control of what we watch what we look at and who we keep in our lives okay so
if you're somebody who has someone in your life who is upsetting you based on
what's going on with their mental illness like I really want you to think
about this and come back to this video and I will recommend something that
helped me out a lot especially working in an addiction and mental health
treatment center was learning more about the different mental illnesses so help
me understand why they're doing what they're doing it helped me understand
you know or expect certain things you know what I'm saying so that might be
beneficial to you all right and I have a ton of videos on a ton of different
forms of mental illness so if you want to get a little bit more educated you
can check out my videos or like just go to Google baby you know what I mean
but anyways that's all I got for this video if you like this video please give
it a thumbs up if you're new make sure you subscribe and bring that
notification about and a huge huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel
over on patreon as well as everybody who supports the channel by buying my mental
health books and merchants all that good stuff alright thanks again for watching
I'll see you next