- The safe, Sheriff! Go on now, hurry!
- Hold your horses.
- Get those numbers going.
- Almost there.
- What are you trying to pull?
Where's the gold?
- Ah, yes. The gold. Should be around here . .
Oh hey, maybe it's in here?
- What in tarnation?
(boom mic thuds)
[Director] Cut! Cut!
- Sorry guys.
- Amateurs.
- I'm sorry, sir.
- This is no excuse. Get off my set.
And you? You call yourself an actor? You're fired!
And I'm one step away from getting rid of the rest of you.
- Look, why don't we just try it again?
Let's move on to the branded spot.
- Well, we could probably get it on the next on.
- If I have to watch you clowns botch one more take,
I'm gonna shoot somebody. What?!
No, no, no! I said orchids! I don't care. . .
- Excuse me?
- Hey, Hannah, what's up?
- Are you like, magic for real?
- We create the illusion of magic, you know.
With the film-making techniques that you saw.
- [Director] Magic isn't real, kid!
(door slams shut)
- Hey, he doesn't know everything.
You know what? I believe that real magic
shows up in unexpected places.
And just a sprinkle can make a difference.
- Really?
Ya just gotta keep a look out.
- Zach, get in my office.
- I gotta go.
(upbeat music)
- Oh my gosh.
[Director] Now get back to work
if that's what you call it.
- Zach! You were right. I just had to keep a lookout.
- Hannah, I'm supposed to be prepping.
- It's magic, Zach, real magic!
Just put this on.
(Zach exhales hard)
(chickens clucking)
- See?
- Wait. Oh my gosh.
(suspenseful music)
- We went together!
- What is this place?
- I have no idea!
(upbeat Western music)
- [Zach] We're in the Old West.
- We're in the Old West!
(horse whinnies)
- Excuse me. Hey, excuse me, Sir. What year is it?
- You ain't the brightest fellow, are you?
- Uh, I didn't mean any trouble.
- That's a pretty 10-gallon, though.
How'd you come by that?
- It's the new Sheriff!
- Oh thank heaven. This town been terrorized
by the outlaw Milton. He killed my son.
- We've been waiting' . . praying for you.
- Hey, everyone! The Sheriff's here!
- You guys got the wrong guy.
(gun shoots)
(people screaming)
(footsteps)
(doors creak)
- (whispering) Get out there!
- (whispering) I'm not the Sheriff.
It's a movie costume.
(dramatic music)
- Raises, Milton! I never seen you without your hat.
(chuckles) Your head is shinier than a brass spittoon!
(laughs)
(Milton shoots gun)
(suspenseful music)
- [Milton] Which one of you low-lives stole my hat!?
(Hannah mimes) Hat?
- Face up to him.
(Zach grunts)
- You thief.
- Here, you take it.
- Don't shoot!
- You can have it. . .
(swoosh)
(dramatic music)
(swoosh)
(woman screams and faints)
- (sighs) Hannah
- Zach, Zach where have you been?
And why aren't you in wardrobe?
You know, I turn around for a sec. . .
What happened to her?
(swoosh)
(Hannah screams)
- [Hannah] Let me go! Stop it! Stop!
- Hannah!
- Stay back! You demon! Stay back!
- Please. Just let her go.
Oh no. This is Milton territory.
And there ain't no wizard Sheriff
that's gonna change that.
(Hannah grunts)
- It's gonna be okay, Hannah.
- You best go back from whence you came.
- [Zach] I will. We will.
Just let her go and we'll get out of your hair.
(bird squawking)
- Excuse me?
- I mean, we'll get out of your town.
- I want what's mine.
- I just need my friend back first.
(gun shoots)
- Okay.
- The next one's hitting' flesh.
- [Hannah] Go! (grunts)
- Ah! Hold it! Don't you get any smart ideas.
(gun shoots)
- Son of a . . .
(swoosh)
(crashing sound)
(exhaling)
- Mm mm.
(swoosh)
(man grunts)
(swoosh)
(dramatic music plays)
- Hannah, grab my hand!
(swoosh)
(Zach and Hannah exhale)
- You just signed your death warrant.
- Here, keep your hat.
- [Director] Zach? Zach!
I have had it with this hide-and-seek.
- [Milton] Thunder and tarnation.
- (whispers) Come on, let's go.
- Ain't you an ugly mush head?
- Arg!
(suspenseful music plays)
(gun shoots)
- [Milton] I got one bullet and twenty questions
so listen close.
First of them being, what kind of
purgatory is this?
- This? This is the future.
- Now take me back.
- I can't.
- It's the hat, ain't it?
- [Milton] Make it work. Come on.
- Listen. You don't need the hat, Milton.
- Like I don't.
- It doesn't need to be like this.
We've all got insecurities,
but you're taking yours out on us.
- Yeah.
(cocks gun)
- [Milton] Whatever you say, Sheriff.
(ominous music plays)
(background gun shots)
- Those people
They were scared. They were desperate for help.
There was no one to stand up for them.
I'm not going to let you keep terrorizing people, Milton.
(gun shoots)
- [Zach] You coulda killed her!
(Milton grunts)
- [Hannah] Stop it!
- [Hannah] Stop, you're hurting him!
(swoosh)
(dramatic music plays)
- [Director] Zach, I have had it up to here with you.
You signed a contract. I own you.
(shovel whacks)
- [Director] If you don't get back . . .
(Milton grunts)
(swoosh)
(Zach coughs)
(Milton grunting continues)
- [Zach] Were they related?
- What now?
- I think there's going to be some changes
around here.
- I guess a sprinkle is all we got.
- Hey, Zach, we are all re-set for the
perspective gag, but we still don't
have an outlaw.
(Milton continues grunting)
- Last looks, everybody. Let's get into places.
- Scene 17, take seven. Marker.
- All right.
And action.
(upbeat music)
- The safe, Sheriff.
- Hold your horses, working on it.
- Where's the gold?
- Uh, should be around here . . .
Oh, hey, maybe it's under here?
(upbeat piano music playing)
- What in tarnation?
- Selfie!
(camera shoots)
- Ha, got him.
- Thanks, Sheriff!
- [Zach] Of course, just doing' my job.
(dramatic music playing)
- Nailed it.
- Milton, you're a natural.
Great job, everybody, that's a wrap.
(clapping)
- Kind of wild.
- Hey, guys, we are going to do snacks
in the producer's office.
(sad music playing)
- I can take that from you. Thanks.
(Milton sniffles)