I know because I speak so much no you
speak so much sooner or later you know
put your foot in the mouth and you say
something you shouldn't and this is one
of the problem so look the more quiet
you are they're less trouble you get
into
somebody once this was actually a
British playwright John Updike the
secret of a happy marriage sigil a happy
marriage is when you are wrong admit it
when you're right shut up if those here
be my age you probably agree with that
because a lot of times you know you're
speaking it just makes matters worse so
just be quiet now one interesting thing
about silence this is a very good
technique when you're out there in the
world and people start getting angry and
you shout at you especially it might be
like a partner or a really close friend
so they share you they get angry when
they finish do the 15-second pause or
the 10 second silence just be silent for
a few minutes don't speak back
straightaway this is what happens when
someone is arguing at you and they
finish then you sort of go defend
yourself but bah bah bah but if you give
the 10 second silence that pause you're
not speaking you're giving that person
has just got angry at you a chance to
reflect on what they've just done a lot
of times you're in that silence they
actually see that they've behaved
terribly they've spoken really badly to
you if you don't give them that 10
second silence to reflect they never see
that so the very skillful means someone
is shouting you're getting angry at you
when they finish your quiet for 10
seconds give them the chance to reflect
and then you can speak afterwards if you
want but using those 10 seconds they
realize what a stupid thing they've done
silence can be very very powerful so
they always is an old Buddhist saying as
well it is the great rivers flow
silently it is the small streams which
make all the noise so what do you want
to be the big river or the littles
if you speak too much your words are
just like no dirt they're all over the
place
if you only speak a little about because
of the rarity of your words your words
are like diamonds they're our treasure
when I first came to Perth I was number
too much and that's why just like these
monks they sit quietly their job is not
to speak the senior monk does all the
talking
so I John Jack I will give all the talks
would answer all the questions I was
just his attendant enough about nine
months no he went to Thailand so I was
the head monk so I had to speak and as
soon as I started speaking this young
ghost is about 14 came out and we otra
said that's amazing you can speak I
thought you were brain damaged
she said Versailles loving because I was
quiet and silent she wasn't used to
person sitting quietly and it wasn't
brain damage it was just restrain and
peace it's nice being quiet so there's
huge amounts of benefits in silence so
when you go out back if the world don't
speak so much restraint and number one
you don't get into so much trouble
number two when you do speak people pay
more attention to you and number three
you give other people a chance just to
reflect on what they're doing they know
at the end of this retreats just usually
aren't lunch time on Sunday I give
people free permission to talk you don't
have to keep the noble silence anymore
know what happens people know I don't
want to talk it's much more fun being
silent that's why I do that little trick
you can if you want it but now yet I
want to so you start to appreciate how
wonderful it is being silent and you can
be friends to a person you can smile at
them you know this beautiful sense of
like good friends meditated together
like a group which cares for each other
without having to speak so you realize
you can still love someone and care for
them without words and sometimes that's
even more powerful than just sometimes
words which are emptying you can't
really believe silence is brilliant hi
jack why