- Now, is that the approach you've taken with your comedy?
- Nobody's ever learned to swim with a life jacked on.
- And you shut the light off
and you're laying there, head on the pillow,
what are you thinking?
- Probably should've finished school.
- [Bill] Yeah. (laughs)
- When did it become easier to be gay?
- Well, it's always been easy to me,
I never cared.
- This is what kills me,
you're from Vancouver, right?
- Yeah.
- How did you become a Bruin's fan?
- And my dad was so
to appeal to him,
I like the Bruins.
- Was he from the Boston area or something?
- No, he's just old.
- [Bill] Oh, when it was the original six.
- There was like no Canucks, I guess,
when he was growing up. - Yeah and the Canadiens
and Maple Leafs were sort of your teams.
How come he didn't pick either one of them?
- I think he liked Bobby Orr.
He was a kid during like Bobby Orr.
- Oh, okay.
Now let me ask you this,
when the Bruins won,
what was it 2011?
- Yeah, I went to game two.
- [Bill] You did?
- Yeah.
- I had tickets to that game seven,
but I gotta do a gig
and I had to do the gig,
so I didn't go.
- What did you regret it?
- Because they won I did,
but when I saw the riots afterwards, I didn't.
I mean I would've been smart enough
not to wear any Bruins shit up there.
I just don't need the headache
and I would've walked out,
but like I was not, you know,
you know the whole stereotype about you guys
is you're supposed to be all like super nice
and everything like that,
but you lose the playoff series
and you burn down your cities
so there's something going on up there.
- I think people are still going to jail for that.
It's taken this long.
- Well what is going on up there?
- Nothing, really.
(laughs)
- Well there's not a lot.
- No, but like when Michael Moore does documentaries
he makes it seem like you go,
"Oh, you know they leave their doors unlocked
"and they just blah blah blah" whatever and then
- I've never left a door unlocked.
- [Bill] Yeah, okay.
- Maybe in certain areas.
- [Bill] All right.
- I don't know, it's getting spread out now.
There's been too many people.
- Have you participated in a riot?
- No, no.
- Have you seen one?
- I was there, but I left.
- [Bill] You left?
- I got out.
- You got out?
- Now, do you have citizenship down here?
- I don't, I just have a visa.
- Do you feel like if you crush on this show
that's gonna put you over with Donald Trump?
- Like I would get a green card?
- [Bill] Yeah.
- If I crush?
- Yeah.
- You think he's going to watch it?
- Well let's ask some questions.
You gotta answer these correctly.
- Okay.
- Are you for the wall?
- Uh.
- [Bill] Come on man, you want to get that card.
- If I'm getting the green card then,
I don't even think that's on the test though.
I have to know presidents, which is,
I don't know any.
- I think I probably couldn't pass that test.
- I don't think, I don't know you personally,
but if we did the test right now
I feel like I could get more right than you.
- Okay, ask me a couple questions.
- Who was the first president?
- George Washington.
- I didn't even know that, that's why I asked.
- Because it's the easy one,
you've gotta go to the second one,
no one knows the second one.
- Who's the second one?
- One of those Adams.
- [Gavin] Adams?
- Started a beer company. - [Gavin] Jack Adams?
- Sam. - Sam Adams, that's Boston.
- I found this interesting,
as far as your backstory,
as far as just being comedians
and having to like communicate
and relate to everybody.
Your mother's deaf, right?
- Yeah, my mom started losing her hearing
when I was little
so she lost it as like, I was like a teenager.
- Oh wow, what was that like?
Watching that process?
- Uh, I think probably harder for her
than it was for me to watch.
I mean, I've only started to think about it
like a lot lately,
but it would just be a lot of loud TV
and loud music constantly.
Like just because she was still trying to hear,
like when she still had like a bit of her hearing.
And then she would just kinda like,
because she got hearing aids,
but she wouldn't wear them even when like,
she like refused.
- I do that with glasses.
I feel like if I get glasses
that's gonna make my eyes weaker.
- Yeah, it's like when you wear Chapstick,
like it trains your body to, like,
then you needed the Chapstick. - Is that what it is?
- Yeah because there's a chemical in it.
- I feel that way at half the people I see
walking around with canes.
- I'm like, "Tough it out, you don't need that,
"now you need that thing."
You ever see those people,
they have the cane,
they put it down,
and then they pick it up
and they walk like three steps
and then they put it down.
- Nobody's ever learned to swim with a life jacket on.
- [Bill] There you go.
- You're just supposed to throw yourself in the water.
- Now is that the approach you've taken with your comedy?
- I think so.
- How long you've been doing it for?
- Five years now.
I started, my friend made me start,
we started two weeks before I was 19.
- Oh, okay.
- And then, so yeah, five years.
- I'm always jealous of you guys that started that young.
So, you're only like what? Like 24?
- Yeah, but I just watched on old tape
and it was bad.
I'm like uh.
- That's good though, that means you're growing.
If you ever watch an old tape
and you're like, "Oh man, I'm crushing it,"
then you stink.
You're not getting any better.
- Like I look back longingly.
- So, where is your sports college affiliation?
- Michigan.
- How did that work out?
- My dad went to school right by Michigan
and so he had season tickets
so he used to take us to games growing up.
- So how long are you in Ohio for then?
- I mean, we split time.
He worked for GM
so he was moving constantly
to stay ahead of the plants closing.
- Did you live through that whole period
where the plants close down and everything?
- Oh yeah.
- What was that like?
Did you guys go from living like a pretty cool house--
- Well, I started doing open mics
when it started happening
so the crowds were just people
that were out of jobs
and they were just depressed.
- Oh, so what were the crowds like back then?
Did they like need a laugh?
- Just people drinking,
they weren't even there for shows,
they were just drinking. (laughing)
We were doing shows in bars
and we'd just kind of pop up mics
so we'd be talking
and they'd be pissed off
that we were there talking.
- Yeah, I remember that when I started out.
It was in Boston,
I started when it was the end of the comedy boom.
So, it was more a bunch a lot of bitter comics
and yeah, just plain bars, maybe shut off the hockey game.
- Yeah, so it was a lot like that,
but it was people just, their lives were imploding.
- What did your dad end up doing?
Was he able to retire as an auto worker?
- Yeah, he stayed with GM for a long time,
then he went to Delphi,
and then he went to another company.
And then that company folded,
but he retired about six months before.
- So that's starting to make sense
because I wanted to ask you,
you majored in journalism
and you were like a month away from graduating.
- I was a semester away, yeah.
- A semester away? - Mm-hmm.
- And you just said, "I'm gonna start doing comedy."
What happened then?
- I was doing comedy while I was going to school
and then I won a contest.
And the prize was to go out to LA to perform
at The Comedy Store.
So I got there, it was a Friday night,
I was 21,
maybe and...
Bobby Lee came upstairs
and we're sitting in the green room
and he's looking at me
and I mean, that was 10 years ago
so I looked like I was 12
and he goes, "Oh dude, I want to to see the kid go on.
"When's the kid going up?"
And I went up and I had a pretty good set.
I could hear him laughing
and he's like, "Come on, we're going to dinner."
And so he takes me to dinner
and he's like, "You just have to drop everything.
"Just move out here. What are you doing?
"Wasting your time. Just do it."
- Nobody ever told you,
your dad never told you
if you came to LA and
a pudgy asian guy came up to you
and asked you for dinner,
you probably shouldn't do that.
- No.
- You're lucky you didn't end up in a trunk or something.
- It's not something you learn about in the Midwest.
- No, I love Bobby.
So, did that make it easier though for you,
because I'm really impressed,
I was one of those people that I really,
when I got to college I was like,
"I have to finish this thing."
And I was 22.
Then 23. 24. - I was the opposite.
I knew I wanted to do comedy when I was 17,
but I had to go to school
because my parents were like,
"You have to go to school."
So I was only a journalism major
just so I could learn how to write.
- How did they handle when you said,
"Hey, I know you just paid for three and a half
"years of school, I'm leaving now."
- Yeah, my mom has always been like,
"Well, you should finish
"and then, you know,
"this is something you can do on the side."
And my dad's always been,
"Just do what makes you happy."
So, what was it like when you moved out
and you go to The Comedy Store
so now you broke their hearts, I guess,
by not finishing up with journalism
so you go out to LA
and then you start doing spots.
What was your first spot like at The Comedy Store?
- So, I mean, it was brutal.
LA scene compared to Detroit was like night and day
where there's no audience
and I had, you know, won a contest so I thought,
"Okay, all the shows are going to be like this.
"It's gonna be in the Belly Room,
"there's gonna be like 60 people,
"they're going to be fun."
- [Bill] Bobby Lee's gonna take me to dinner.
- Exactly.
Buy me a sandwich. (laughing)
And I get there and the first Potluck I did at The Store
was on Superbowl Sunday.
- Oh no.
- This was when there were no crowds.
Like I was at the tail end of the dark ages
and you know, so literally even the guy working the door
is down at the bottom of the steps
watching the game on the TV.
All the comics are out there,
the host just brings me up to an empty room
and then walks outside to watch.
- Like literally zero people?
- Literally zero people in the room.
No comics, no audience.
And so my first set as an LA resident
was to nothing.
(laughing)
And that was like, "Welcome to Hollywood.
"This is pretty much how it's going to be."
- So that night you go back to
wherever the hell you're living
and you shut the light off
and you're laying there, head on the pillow,
what are you thinking?
- Probably should've finished school.
- [Bill] Yeah. (laughing)
- What is this deal with,
is it your wife now or your girlfriend?
- (laughs) That's my wife. - It's your wife.
- [Punkie] Yeah. - Okay, so you got married,
now what is this story, you broke up?
- Well, we had been together since high school
and you know, if you with somebody since high school,
you know, it come a point in time
where it just gets so serious you be like,
"Is this it? Is this all Imma have?"
So I was okay with that being it,
but she wasn't.
She wanted to branch out,
do her thing.
She was religious so that was messing with her
so she left me
and I couldn't handle it.
- How old were you?
- Probably 22, 23.
- Did you see it coming?
- I mean I felt it because I knew,
you know, it was tough to be gay back then,
like now its like, oh, you know, all flamboyant,
but back then, 10 years ago.
- What years were this?
- Probably 2003, 4 ish.
- When did it become easier to be gay?
- Well it's always been easy to me,
I never cared, I was always myself.
- I was gonna say was it around Will and Grace?
Is that when all the sudden it got easier?
(laughing)
It's a sitcom! - When all that came out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And that's her thing too now.
But I couldn't handle that, man.
I wind up just getting a little crazy,
I just followed her everywhere.
- So you started, like, you were a stalker?
- I was low-key a stalker.
- You were what?
- I was a low-key stalker.
- Low-key stalker. - [Punkie] Yeah, yeah.
- So you're clarifying it.
How would she describe your stalking?
- Well, she loved it!
She loves it now.
When I finally told her what happened,
she was like,
"All right. This is love.
"This is the most romantic thing anybody's ever done."
- Oh, she didn't know you were doing it?
- She didn't know at the time.
- So what were you doing?
Like tell me, like,
okay you have a job, you have to eat.
How are you keeping tabs?
I want to know about this stalking life.
- All right so hears the thing,
she had this tree,
like on the opposite fence of her apartment, right,
and I'm like, "This is the perfect view
"for me to watch everything she's doing."
I hate trees.
And I hate, in New Orleans it's just mosquitoes,
it was so annoying,
but this is what I did.
- But you loved her so much. - I loved her.
And I was like,
"She better not be with nobody."
I was ready to hop out the tree,
get my woman, act crazy.
I was ready to lose all my rep.
I didn't care.
- So you probably scared whatever was in the tree
out of it as you were coming up.
- Well see, eventually I wind up becoming friends
with her neighbors in the opposite complex
so I could stay out of that tree.
The tree was getting a little bit uncomfortable,
it was hot, it was annoying.
- That's that southern hospitality.
Even a stalker, "Come on in! Sit down."
- (laughs) They didn't know!
From that moment on,
it just became a little easier
because from that I could just see her
from they patio
and I could just look like everything's fine.
I wonder why nobody never said nothing,
like, "Why you looking out that window over there?"
I just stayed in this one spot outside their house.
- How long did you stalk her for?
- Oh man, probably for like six months.
- Six months you do this.
Now while you're doing this,
at any point, are you thinking like,
"What am I doing?"
- The whole time.
But you know what I needed that because--
- [Bill] You talking to yourself?
- Oh I'm talking to myself,
I'm on the phone with people.
I'm doing all kinds of stuff
I'm not supposed to be doing.
I didn't care.
That was my baby. - Okay, so then what happened?
Did you, because you guys are back together,
how did you get back together?
- Well eventually, so I left.
So, I needed that push.
Like I've always said I wanted to come to California
and follow my dream, yada yada yada,
but I never really thought,
I don't really think I believed that.
- So you stalked her for six months and your like,
" All right." - I gotta get out of here.
That was the push I needed to come to California.
That was the push I needed. - Was it that last time
you walked up to the tree or the patio
(laughing)
I can't get myself to look out this window anymore.
- You ever just lose yourself
and then you wake up and be like,
"Bitch, I'm Bill Burr.
"What am I doing?"
- I definitely lose myself
but I never talk about myself in the third person.
- I do. See, crazy.
- Okay, so you said, "All right, fuck this."
- I got out.
- [Bill] "I'm Punkie I'm going to go start--"
- I'm Punkie man, this ain't me.
I'm better than this.
I'm worth more than this.
- [Bill] It's kind of a punk move
sitting in a tree for six months.
- Yeah,that's some bitch shit.
- But Punkie.
- [Punkie] Yeah. Mm-hmm.
I had to turn the fire on.
- That's right.
I got out of there,
came out to California,
and I just found my way in comedy
and then I get to come sit at the table
and talk to you.
- Well there you go.
So, wait a minute, wait a minute!
So then you're out here
and you left her and then all the sudden
you're moving up the comedy ladder.
- Well because you know how women are.
They be like, "Bye, bye, leave, leave, leave."
And then as soon as you leave
they be like, "Where you going?"
It's like, bitch, you told me to leave.
- Exactly. Exactly.
- So I left...
The day I was leaving
she jumped in the car and drove with me to California.
- Oh, so she was just getting off on all the attention.
- Probably. - She knew you were there.
- She knew I was there the whole time, she knew.
(rock music)