if i were ask , when is the last time you worked on sth meaningful
to you for 4 hours straight without gettiing distracted
without pausing every 2 minutes to check your email or your facebook
most people will say : euh , i don't remember
i can't concentrate for 4 hours straight , i'm i'm not a robot ! maybe you're the wrong one
maybe you should be normal
and check your facebook every 2 mintues like everyone else right ?
well of course i should .
i mean why should you worry about finishing your work on time or achieving your dreams
there are other things more important than that on facebook :
oh look at dat
"jhonny divorced his wife and married another one"
maybe that's a very important topic that should motivate you to stop working right now
and go check that out , oh look at this one :
"jane got plastic surgery and changed her profile picture" that's impressive.
, why not go waste more time on that.
don't you realize you have less than 90 years to live on this planet
or perhaps you forgot that you're going to die one day.
if you're wasting time right now , it means that you concider yourself to be immortal.
and the first pillar is the practise of living consciously.
every time you know what the right thing to do is
but you choose to do the opposite. your self esteem decreases.
if your wasting time on social media then ask yourself
where is this leading me ? a better future perhaps ?
to practise this first pillar
you have to be willing to act on what you perceive to be the right thing to do
at any given moment.
have you ever found your self looking at your Big nose in the miror.
and no matter how many times you try to look at it from different angle.
it seems bigger and bigger. so big , you wish to youself that you could be
someone else for a second to experience how a normal nose would feel like.
maybe, you're looking at your problem from a limited perspective
you're seeing your self as a unique entity.
if we expand your view however, turns out that there are thousands and thousands
who have the same problem as you and they're not making a big deal out of it.
that is what makes them unique about themselves.
the second pillar here is the practise of self acceptance.
stop resisting any part of your self. you're not born to torture yourself
because you don't look like jhon.
you are born to be no body else but yourself.
let me ask you this :
are you thinking about improving your financial situation right now?
or are you worried about your friend's financial problems?
are you thinking about solving your problems? or buying cloths for the children of your poor neighbor?
well. if you haven't found your self thinking about that lately
then your neighbor surely isn't doing the same for you.
and i'm not saying he's mean or anything.
it's just human nature.
we need to feed the cat at lunch time
but we happen to think about feeding our selves first.
and the third pillar of self esteem is the practise of self responsibility
if it's human nature to be focused internally. then no one is thinking about helping you right now.
nobody gives a damn if you pay the rent this month or spend the next month homeless.
why ? because people can barely handle their own problems.
so take responsibility over yours. don't leave that for someone else
i guarantee that they will fail miserably. everyone is thinking about themselves .
and if you happen to find the opposite in someone, please call me.
because that's not human there.
seriously, that's an angel.
i remember when i was a little kid at school everytime the teacher asked
a question, i wouldn't want to raise my hand because i thought, if i said sth wrong
my friend's would think i'm stupid then other students would hear about it
and the whole school will think that i'm not cool.
so i always made sure to sit in the back and try to filter what i wanted to say.
but then i grew up and i realized, no body actually cared if i said sth cool or uncool
why ? because even if people were to laugh at you, they would definitely
forget about it the next day , it doesn't matter.
i also realized that there is no such thing as a perfect thing to say.
and even if you say something cool, it doesn't mean that people will not judge you for that as well.
people will always perceive things from a mental label.
from their own view of reality. this means that everything around you
is getting judged right now, even yourself you're not only watching a video.
your brain is simultaneously trying to make an interpretation of what you're hearing.
or trying to judge something in the video, so you could make sense out of it.
a meaning that is relevant to you.
and the fourth pillar of self esteem: is the practise of self assertiveness.
and to practise self assertiveness:
stop repressing your thoughts and your ideas because they seem to be different or wrong.
keep in mind that
you will never ever the perfect thing to say.
so, go out there say and say: HEY
i know i'm not perfect but i have the right to exist, as Nathaniel Branden says.
have you ever felt like your stuck in a labyrinth.
trying to get out but just couldn't find that door.
most people life's are similar to that
they wake up in the morning and go to work. and when they get back home
they spend the rest of their night watching T.V trying to fall unconscious
so they could perhaps forget about their problems .and then the next day
they hit that replay button. just like a fleet of ants.
bringing food to their home one after another every single day.
over and over and over. and the fifth pillar, is the practise of living purposefully
and this one's about bringing to mind the things that you need to improve in your life.
be it in your personality, your relationships, your finances.
and then acting toward developing those areas
don't burn your life living like a zombie like: go to work, eat, sleep.
go to work..eat..sleep..get sick..get some pills perhaps.. and get back to work.
i'm not saying quit your job, i mean add something meaningful to do on top of that.
add some flavor.
living purposefully is about a continuous movement toward improvement.
maybe read a book, seek out to information. attend a class about something, teach people
perhaps play an instrument and try to get good at that.
i have never seen someone who spends 6 hours everyday watching T.V
and has high self esteem as well.
i want you to remember the last time you were on a diet.
it's hard at first i know, when you see junk food, it's like cigarettes.
you hear that mental voice inside your head saying :
"ah come on, it's just a bag of chips, no one will see come on take it , take it , take it nowww!"
and when you take the chips and start eating that inner voice shows up again saying
"ah man, you did it again" then you start feelling bad about yourself
your brain is crazy it contradict itself.
don't ask me, ask a brain surgeon.
this pillar is correlated with a favorite concept of mine called:
Congruence. and congruence means an alignment between your words thoughts and actions
if you know deep down that you should be eating fruits instead of junk food
but you eat junk food anyway.
your negative mental Radio shows up and puts itself on the beat him up channel.
and your self esteem gets damaged.
why? because self esteem is the reputation that we acquire toward ourselves .
and if we keep doing things we know that we shouldn't be doing .
that reputation decreases.
and the last pillar is the practise of personal integrity
and to practise this one : you have to make sure
that your thoughts and actions are in alignement in every situation
if you say that you're going to do something you do it, if promise yourself to achieve your dreams
but you give when the road get's tough
guess what? you gave up on your self esteem as well.
and these are the six pillars of self esteem by Nathaniel Brandon.