this diana personally hates me my goodness
my goodness love that for me i love being hated it's so funny
hello hello
the necklace is all messed up we're just gonna ignore that i'm not sure i like my
hair like this on live stream it looks kind of i used to wear my hair like this uh when i
was like 18 to 20 all those three years 18 19 20 like every day this is how i wore my hair
live streaming is ending i feel bad i do um but i just think it's time to end this live stream era
um um can we get a fupa shake as a live stream goodbye i love that for you love that for you
i will be canceling the memberships yes yes i will i feel like i'm really bad at explaining
myself honestly so before i even start to explain myself um i want to say that
will i go live again in my lifetime yes i will um but when i do go live it's going to be random
might be in three months from now we don't know it won't be a membership moment it'll be open um so
i will i do want to make that known um she's not getting enough views aka income deaf not true um
i will talk more about that in a minute actually i might as well just dance right now um i make
more money on my live streams than i do my regular videos so i want to make that very very well known
that was also something else that i had to i had to think about because this is my job
this is my income but for me i feel like what i'm aiming for for my channel is more important
than money at this moment i've noticed we see two different sides of you with live versus blog style
interested to see if we will still see that um the reason why i want to end live streams is because
i'm going to be completely honest with you guys um adding memberships and doing live streams
was a lazy way for me to be a content creator um i was going through a hard time
there were things that were happening in my life that i didn't talk about and you guys
saw you can go back you have to go back to when i started live streams i wasn't a happy person
and then pretty miserable let's be real and i uh i just wanted an easier way to make money i
didn't want to put in effort and i've realized that this is just a lazy way for me to be
a youtuber and i don't really want that to be my channel anymore i want to
i'm so bad at explaining things like i feel like i'm really bad at it um
i just feel more myself when i'm vlogging like when i'm vlogging like i'm in my element that's
literally who i am as a person um when i do live streams i hide it 99 of the time um that i
i'm very nervous and i have a lot of anxiety and i try not to show that in my live streams i'm trying
to read some of the chat too as i'm talking and someone said so you're admitting that you took
advantage of everyone who subscribed no that's not what i'm saying i'm saying that i was depressed
and i took the easy way out i didn't take advantage of anybody i wanted to still do my job
but i wanted to be lazy about it if that makes sense um that's what i'm trying to explain to you
um but obviously there's going to be people who will twist everything i'm saying completely um
that's that's the reason why people do memberships is because you're trying to
pay for the roof over your head and stuff like that but what i'm trying to say is
i want to do more on my channel i want to work harder for my channel i would rather upload
videos than sit on live stream and talk about
the same thing over and over i love talking to you guys that like i've made friends off of here
okay this jessica elliott person is big mad like i'm sorry for offending you that definitely was
not the case um i do love you guys i do and it's just like i honestly feel like my mental
health comes first so that's like the number one um obviously and then yet you're still
accepting the 8.99 members money why currently in this moment my title is my last live stream so if
anyone becomes a member right now that's on them like i literally am not like i can't just turn
it off i can i can but i wanted this to be the last members stream i wasn't gonna come on here
to where there was no members because i feel like that's disrespectful you guys have been here
through the whole time a lot of you have and i wasn't just gonna have an open chat as my
last live stream that's kind of kind of silly kind of crazy if you ask me um so
i just think it's i don't know i've noticed such a positive change in you in your videos
and i'm so excited for your milestones good for you thank you so much i appreciate that
um i don't know it's just really hard to do live streams like it really is because it's just like
i get a lot of anxiety and i don't know what else to say like i just
thoroughly want to work harder on my channel and i don't want to be like
live streams are just lazy like in my opinion um and i just wanna i wanna upload videos i notice
like a lot of my viewers prefer the weigh-ins the vlogs the what i ate today videos and stuff
like that that's what you guys prefer and that's what i prefer making so it's like it just makes
the most sense to just do that when was your last kiss hashtag hornyberry um my last kiss uh
wait i'm not answering that i thought you threw that i don't know if i should
this was the first halloween forever you didn't dress up you'll have to do a look next year
yeah this is the first halloween of my life that i didn't dress up which is so crazy um i did wear a
pink sweater it was actually at the end of my last vlog
and i was joking around that i was cotton candy because like the texture of it as well like it
was the color of like a pink cotton candy moment and like the texture of it was very like soft so
we could just say i was cotton candy for the heck of it because i'm literally round
um like cotton candy so it works out eh and i'm sweet like cotton candy let's be real
amber i have the biggest crush on you don't tempt me weed baby oh my god wait i didn't know that
thanks i'm just kidding are you trolling love that though am i single so
i might be talking to someone it's like that stages where it's like right at the beginning
so we'll see where that goes i get what you mean about the hate i got some when i said
that i would pay for your only fans ello if it's all good hey you pay for my only fans
that's all i heard i hate myself uh we need an only fans moment just kidding one can dream
i mean i don't swing that way but i'll totally pay for amber's only fans
love that patrick thank you i can't do only fans i like you guys come on you've seen my body let's
get real yes there's people out there who like girls my size which is very flattering but i
think i'm really ugly i think i'm like grotesque and like monstrous so um no make it make sense
y'all was mad she was doing live streams now that she's eating it you want to be mad you all just
want to be mad for nothing that is the thing so the people who are like upset like i totally get
that for the people who are just like downright being rude like there's just no reason for it
honestly because i just feel like it's gonna be best for all of us if i stop the live streams um
but like i said i will pop up on here randomly and it'll just be an open chat and there's going to be
no obligations or responsibilities with it and we're all just going to have a good time i just
i have a new like because i don't want to just like be gone and be done so there is
i hate when i say this because people roll their eyes but there is like a new youtube
schedule moment that i have came up with and that i'm going to do so you guys are still going
to see me five times a week um they're just gonna be videos that i upload not live stream
videos why didn't you give your members a concrete one month warning honestly i don't know i don't
have an answer to that do you guys ever just have that thing where you're just like okay
i just can't do something any longer and it's like you're just like stern in that choice and there's
like nothing you can do about it that's how like my brain and my heart is feeling right now
and i don't know get ready for phase two y'all def not you said you gave becky the car you did not
give her the debt you only gave her 300 which was hers and donations but you owe her so much more
so the becky situation stan since 2016. thank you patrick so the whole
becky situation i guess i will explain this um respectfully so when it came to me and becky um
when i said that i was paying becky i was paying her 2600 a month um when she became my ex
that's the amount that she got and i told her she has to pay half the bills because that's
only fair no longer in a relationship anymore um i have learned very
i've learned from my mistakes and i don't want to just give people money anymore
um especially when it's like not my responsibility anymore and so with that money that i gave her
um for being in my live streams she also paid for um rent and stuff like that and not only that um
it was a couple months after the breakup she still used my bank she still had her card that
was connected to my bank and like i just let her get what she needed like she still was able to buy
her food and whatever she needed or even slash wanted to an extent and then it was finally um
it was finally like okay she's ready to move out and that is when she stopped being on live streams
so she had no more income from me because she was no longer on my live streams anymore i had already
given her what she earned the 300 that she is talking about was after she had already moved out
she was no longer on my live streams anymore um i owed her because she had bought me lunch
and so i was going to venmo her and give her i think it was like 20 or something i don't remember
and um instead of been mowing her 20 i gave her 300 and i think people are just like you hear bits
and parts of things and then like you you take that like sentence and you create your own story
around it which i totally get because if i would have watched becky's video i would have been like
oh amberlynn's like this horrible person like i totally get where people are coming from but
i remember i facetimed becky when i because i obviously watch her content and i was like
becky like i think you confused a lot of people and i was like i just have to explain this in a
video like or even in a live stream and so i just had to explain to you guys because i am
being called like a scammer and i think people are just like really confused with stuff which is like
totally fine because like from an outside perspective i totally get it that's why like
i can't be mad at y'all at all um and i'm gonna be honest if it wasn't for taxes coming up because i
have to pay a lot on taxes i'd probably be helping becky moore just because i'm literally that person
um and like i love becky so freaking much and i care about her a lot and things have been very up
and down with her which makes me really sad but i did talk to her earlier i'm seeing her this
weekend which i'm actually really happy about and i just want like positive vibes all around
from this point forward and i really don't want to talk about becky anymore on here um
just do something real quick
sorry
okay dang i was typing okay i'm sorry that took forever okay um where did i leave off
um i'm pretty sure because after i get off of here i'm canceling membership
um i'm not sure how it works on youtube then because obviously like youtubers all the time
cancel the members thing so i don't know if like since the full month wasn't completed if you all
get your money back or not i really freaking hope so um but it just doesn't make sense that
you wouldn't so i don't really know because i'm sure youtubers end it all the time you know
um and since it is november 2nd it's a new month
so i don't know i don't know um i will have to look into it more but i'm pretty sure
you guys will get your money back what if you just kept the membership and let people who want to
continue to support you like a patreon um because i'm pretty sure for memberships like you have to
give them something and i don't think people want to be a member just to have my face next to their
username okay i don't think people would want that um and i feel like eight dollars to have
a little emoji picture next to your screen name is a complete ripoff um i'm sure there
would be some of you who would want to support me like that but i just feel like that's so unfair
to you guys like so unfair vlogmas is coming so al doesn't need your eight dollars anymore um okay
how does the live streams affect your mental health just a genuine question love you i hope you
do feel better um i get very overwhelmed i do get anxiety um i try to hide those things
and it's just i don't know it's like so hard to explain like there are times where i come
on here and i don't feel even a single ounce of anxiety and then there's other times where
it's like i get off the live stream and i feel like i'm gonna have a panic attack
um i don't like that vlogs don't make me feel that way editing videos don't make me feel that way
but live streams do and i just it sucks because i do enjoy live streaming but it's just like
there's so many cons to live streaming and there's so many pros to giving you guys
content that has been requested of me so i don't know i i'm happy that i did this live stream era
um it's been crazy because you guys literally have seen the breakup with becky and i
like on live stream like which is so crazy um you guys have found out tea
that i'm not sure you would have found out without live streams so that's interesting
oh lucas no more live streams is a depression berry for sure all right lucas
i'm i'm done with you oh my god hashtag depression berry oh my god that's actually really funny i'm
not gonna lie what about a horny berry moment wait ignore that ignore that i never stood all
the reaction channels pretending not to understand amber's jokes she's hilarious
thank you i appreciate that i i'm i'm i feel like i'm the funniest person i know
when i'm really probably not even that funny um can you come to the east coast
i think i'm in the east coast one right i live in the east coast so i'm already here actually
um wait is the east coast easter wait hold on geography hold on am i saying that right
hold on i'm just not gonna talk anymore so you guys i think it's time to say bye
wait am i gonna cry no that's dumb no there's going to be no tears why do i feel sad about this
goodbye extreme queens wait that's so sad this is so stupid and dramatic i'm dead
stay hootin for sure yeah okay bye
you oh