♪♪
[audience applause]
- Okay, folks,
just a quick meeting before we change shifts.
Um, Marko, remember we're still doing curbside pickup
so you gotta keep that parking lane clear.
- You got it, boss.
- And Jenny, remember, when restocking the shelves,
we do need to bring the older products to the front.
- Sorry, boss.
- One last thing, there was a break-in last night.
Old woman: A break-in?
- It's okay!
They didn't get any money.
Um, there was just some stuff missing
from one of the dairy fridges.
- The dairy?
Mother of Pearl.
We got a milk freak on our hands.
[audience laughter]
Jenny: What?
Marko: What did you say?
- You heard me!
A milk freak.
- So the legends are true.
They are...
real!
- Are we in danger?
Boss: No!
Jason: Yes!
Paula: [wailing]
- Paula, Ted, please.
There is nothing to be concerned about.
- Nasty, foul creatures they are.
Strong as 10 men they are!
- Their bones is twice as long as us humans!
Boss: Okay, everyone settle down,
and let's just review the lock-up procedure okay?
Whoever is last to leave the building,
you do need to--
- Take this seriously, you fool!
The North American milk freak.
Jenny: [groaning]
- Long, bony arms.
Paula and Jenny: [groan]
- And legs!
[collective groan]
- Yeah.
[audience laughter]
And, uh, hair like, uh, um...
Paula: Shredded cheese!
Jason: Yep, that's it.
Jenny: Oh, and a face like a cow.
- Can't rule it out.
Boss: Guys!
- And a belly lousy with udders.
Paula: Lousy!
- What?!
Okay, guys, you are clearly just improvising.
Marko: No, I don't wanna touch it.
[overlapping arguments]
[chalkboard scraping]
[audience laughter]
- You all know me.
You know how I make a living.
[light crunching]
I'll find the freak for ya, but it ain't gonna be easy.
He's bad milk.
I'll find him for 3,000.
I'll kill him for 10.
Boss: Well that seems like way too much.
What am I talking about?
There is no such thing as a milk freak!
[knocking]
- Excuse me?
Uh, sorry.
I was just trying to buy some groceries,
but there's no one out there, uh, to check me out.
Paula: L-l-l-long bones!
Jenny: Ch-ch-ch-ch-cheese hair like the drawing!
Ted: It's the milk freak!
Get him!
[screaming]
Boss: Sir!
Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry!
- We caught you, you nasty, nasty freak!
- There is no such thing as a milk freak!
- Only one way to be sure.
You gotta pour some milk on 'im.
- I shoulda done curbside pickup!
[pouring]
[audience laughter]
Boss: See?!
He's just a normal man.
[crack]
- Wait, look!
[crack]
[collective gasp]
- [soft cackling]
[loud cackling]
Oh, I love the milky milky!
I'm a real freak for it!
[crashing]
[screaming]
[harrowing music]
[audible gasping]
Jenny: He's so freaky!
[screaming]
Paula: [audible gasp]
- Smile, you son of a milk freak!
[slo-mo sound effect]
[bang]
Milk freak: [scream]
[cheering]
[laughing]
[audience applause]
Jason: [chuckle]
[boom]
[audience applause]
- Thank you so much for watching!
- Yeah, and if you just watched this video
and you're not subscribed to our channel,
please subscribe.
It really helps us sleep better at night.
- Yeah, Jason hasn't slept in months.
- Gah, yeah, I just keep thinkin'
about all the unsubscribed viewers,
and it just-- GRR!
- There, there, sweet Jason.
Please, help this man sleep.
Subscribe.
- [whispered] Someone just subscribed.
- You alone can help one Jason
with one click of your mouse.
♪♪