♪♪
[ Beep ]
♪ My, my, my, my Corona ♪
So, this is, 'Day Who the Fuck Knows?' of quarantine.
Currently 5:35. Haven't even slept yet.
I'm underneath a blanket fort right now,
and I just hotboxed it with my sweetie.
Hi.
For those out there who live on their own,
man, we all deserve a fucking medal.
I am naturally an introvert, and this shit should be easy.
And this shit is difficult as fuck.
We're living like the average dog.
We go outside for a few minutes at a time.
Other than that, we just go back inside,
spend the days like dogs.
[ Child screaming indistinctly ]
This whole quarantine has made me think
about how much I appreciate teachers.
[ Child screams ] Thank you...
for taking our kids off our hands.
Losing my mind. It's been three weeks.
We've been stuck in this house with 4 kids from the age of 10.
Everybody with a tiny house is itching right now,
because I done walked around my house
about 8,000-something steps,
and I still got some rooms to walk around.
Boyfriend of three years broke up with me,
and we're stuck in the same house under lockdown.
♪ Hey, yay, yay, yay ♪
I met someone on Hinge, and now we are living together
because we are sheltering in place together,
so we've essentially jumped
like five years into the relationship,
and now we just hang out in our sweatpants and drink
and watch movies.
Hey. Doing an online class shirtless in bed.
This is my life now.
Most people know it's their last day of high school,
but we just didn't come back one day,
and now there is a lot of people
that I'm definitely just not gonna ever see again.
I got an e-mail today from my college,
and they said, "That feeling you're having, that's grief.
You're grieving the loss of normalcy."
And holy shit are they right.
This pandemic has really taken a toll
on my mental illness.
I wanted to let other people with similar mental disorders
and tell them that you're not alone,
and please don't underestimate the words "I love you."
Found myself masturbating a lot, and it feels lonely.
Fucking come into work every day.
Essential employee, my ass.
We a fuckin' smoke shop.
What the fuck are we doing out here?
I'm not exactly social distancing right now
because I'm an essential worker because I work at Whole Foods.
You have people who come in to buy avocados
and hang out with people.
Please stop going out to grocery stores
and making the workers be your friends.
That's all I have to say.
For all the public out there,
remember us grocery store workers.
Don't treat us like garbage.
We're here for you. We're trying our best.
Americans have been complacent with all of our blessings.
We gotta stand together and use this time
to re-prioritize what really matters in life.
So much of it was just fluff and bullshit,
just consumerism and excess and insanity,
where what really matters
is love, compassion, family, friends,
one's body and one's mind.
I want everything to go back to normal,
and I will never, ever take anything for granted ever again.
We will get through this together no matter what happens.
We're all in this together.
It's really weird.
Like, even talking to a voice mail
at least makes me feel like I'm somehow communicating
with another human being.
I miss human interaction.
Thanks for listening, whoever may be listening.
[ Beep ]