Tripp Kramer here from TrippAdvice.com.
On this video, I want to do something a little bit different than I've done before.
I want to share with you my online dating experience.
What it was like for me to start online dating, all the way from doing online profiles, to
the point where I was on dating apps.
Let me give you some opinions and some things about online dating.
I'll give you a few tips as well.
The reason why I'm doing this is because I want to give you a brutally honest look at
what it's like to do online dating, and also compare it to one of my favorite ways to meet
women, which is through cold approach.
Meaning meeting them in person and not online.
Comparing the two a little bit and going over some of that.
Let's get into it.
My history of online dating goes back to all the way in 2008.
This was, at this point of this video about nine years ago.
I started on a little website called JDate, which was meeting Jewish girls.
I thought, because I'm Jewish, maybe it will be a little bit easier to meet girls who were
looking for someone like me.
That was a bad mentality going into it.
Not because it's bad to date Jewish girls, but because I was using online dating as a
crutch to not have to go up and meet girls in person.
That's right.
I used online dating because I did not have the courage or confidence to go up and talk
to girls, even though in my head I really wanted to learn how to do cold approach.
I was too freaked out.
At this point, in 2008 - 2009, online dating was becoming a lot more popular.
This is at the time, when online dating was becoming pretty normal.
You'd be able to tell people that you met someone online, and it wouldn't be so weird.
Whereas you go maybe in 2005 or in early millennium
like 2001 or 2000, at that point, it was a
little weird, like, oh, you do online dating?
Is that safe?
2008 is when it started to become a little bit more normal.
I thought at this point, I was maybe 22 - 23 years old, and I said, I'm going to do this
online dating thing.
I'm going to try it out because I wanted to meet girls.
What ended up happening was, I ended up signing up for one month.
That's as long as I last did it, one month of JDate.
By the way, this is not a commercial or some advertisement for JDate.
They're not paying me anything.
Not going to leave any links below for you to go sign up with them.
This is a brutally honest truth of when I started and where I started.
I started doing Jdate and I'll be honest with you, it sucked.
It really did.
Maybe it was because I don't know the skills to create a good profile or to create good
messages to start meeting up with girls.
It did work to some degree.
This is when I started off learning about dating.
I was in my early 20s, trying to figure everything out.
I remember, I think I got maybe five to six dates during my little month there on JDate.
I remember I was going after girls that I thought were in my league and I hate using
that terminology.
This is what I was thinking back then.
I was trying to be girls within my league.
That meant that I was going for girls who I didn't think were super attractive, but
the ones that I could get.
This is another issue that I see a lot of guys do, not just with online dating, but
even with going and approaching other girls.
I get the low hanging fruit, so to speak.
Again, it's all relative terms.
They're going after girls who they think they could get because they're putting girls who
are pretty on this pedestal, thinking that they're more valuable than another girl who
is not, which is a terrible mindset.
That was my mindset, just like probably you and a bunch of other guys have.
I was going after some girls I thought were in my league.
Like I said, I got some dates and I hooked up with a few girls.
It was an interesting experience.
I will say this, that entire month, the first three weeks, I was coming home from work,
this is before the online dating apps and sites had their own app, I'd come home to
my desktop computer, and I would be messaging girls.
I was getting obsessed.
How easy is it to go into computer and talk to girls and message girls.
I was doing this every single day for probably the first two to three weeks.
The fourth week, I pretty much decided that I was having enough of this and I didn't want
to continue with it.
I got some dates and they weren't working out for me.
Anyway, I messaged girls every single day and all that work.
I'm talking easily.
If you added it a lot, maybe an hour a night every day.
What's that for three weeks?
That's 20 hours.
It's a lot of time.
I was doing that for three whole weeks.
I want to now compare this a little bit to meeting girls in person.
That was pretty much my only experience doing an online dating site.
With that, compared to cold approach, can you imagine if you put 20 hours into going
out and approaching girls, first of all, you would approach probably more girls than you
think you would.
I would imagine, it could come close depending on how much you are copy and pasting at an
online site.
I know a lot of people message hundreds of girls, but you could end up approaching a
lot of girls in person.
If I only focused at that point in my life, 20 hours on approaching girls, I would have
become really good.
20 hours is a lot of time.
Just imagine spending one hour per day for three weeks going out there, approaching women
and practicing the skills of conversation, I can guarantee you, 20 hours of that would
get you more than three to four dates.
You would get more quality women.
Why would you get more quality women?
A lot of the prettier girls who are on online dating sites are getting message a ton.
They're getting hundreds of messages, whereas a girl in person is not being approached hundreds
of times.
You're giving yourself a better shot, plus you're already coming off very confident,
extremely courageous for starting a conversation with a girl in person.
Mind you, I'm not trying to completely disregard online dating.
This is not a video against online dating.
I'm just comparing the two in terms of how they match up.
I think online dating is great.
I want guys to be using online dating for the right reasons.
I was not using online dating for the right reasons.
I was doing it because I was scared.
What ended up happening was, I went on some of these dates and some of them were okay.
I hooked up with a few girls, but at the end of the day, I still wasn't fully prepared
for these dates because I wasn't used to talking to girls in person.
That's why I don't like guys to just be using the apps and online dating sites to meet women
because eventually you have to meet them in person.
I like to say you want to spread yourself between all the different options.
Do some online dating, do some apps, and also do cold approaching.
I would probably break it down to about 70, 15, 15.
This is again, if you're using all the options, 70% going out doing cold approach, 15% halves,
and 15% on the online dating sites.
I will tell you a little bit about the next phase of my dating life.
I'm not going to go too far into it, because again we're talking only about online dating.
The next phase after that was me finally pushing myself to go out, approach girls, and do this
cold approach thing.
At the end of the day, I wasn't meeting these kinds of women that I wanted.
I wanted to meet higher quality women.
I was not finding that or knowing how to find that online dating at the time.
I pushed myself to go out multiple nights per week, talk to girls and do this completely
sober.
That was the next phase of my life and I didn't touch online dating for maybe another year
or so.
Then I went to PlentyofFish, and that's another online dating site.
I use it not as a crutch, but as an addition.
It was a compliment to me already going out and meeting women.
I met, who was now a very close friend of mine from there, a girl I dated for a minute.
That was cool.
Again, I wasn't really finding the quality that I wanted.
I did that for a little bit longer, did some
online dating there and use it more as a compliment
to doing more cold approaching.
I found that it was a good compliment.
It was something that was good, that I was keeping it on the side and I wasn't using
it as my main tool.
I'm sure you're seeing a theme here in terms of what I'm talking about, that online dating
is great, but it's not the only way to go.
After PlentyofFish, I was probably using that around 2009 - 2010, I decided to focus more
on cold approach and meet women in person.
From there, I ended up getting into relationship for a little while.
I wasn't doing any online dating, then cold approaching.
Two years ago that I finally decided to try out the apps.
With these apps, I found that it was very interesting because this is like online dating
on steroids.
You can go through so many profiles very quickly.
Whereas online dating, it takes a little bit.
You're searching for a little bit more, you're perusing some of the bios and things like
that in the pictures.
I'm sure you've used apps before, you're swiping, you're doing a lot of that in new lot of girls.
This was really cool.
I had a very good experience with the apps.
I met a lot more girls at this point in my life.
I was a little bit more confidence and was going after girls that I was attracted to
and not girls that I just thought that I could get.
I did a lot of the app dating and met a lot of great girls.
Some also not so great, when it's really shitty dates, but also met some amazing people, people
that I still keep in contact with today as general friends.
It was a very positive experience for me.
However, I still found that I was meeting better girls in person.
I don't know why, I have a little bit of a theory.
I think that in terms of the apps, in terms of online dating, I guess it all depends on
what kinds of girls you are going after, but unless you're a very good looking guy and
has great pictures, it's going to be pretty tough for you to match with girls.
I know that goes along with the idea that looks matter which they don't, but that's
all that the girls can base you on when you're looking at apps.
All they can do is go through the apps and they can see, this guy's attractive, this
guy's not so attractive, and maybe doesn't go with the little profile.
They don't have any choice, but to focus on the actual looks aspect.
Again, it doesn't mean that looks really matter because they don't.
It's not about how you look.
It's more about how you act with them and how your personality is.
It's all about the way you display your personality.
That goes a longer way with women in person than it does over the app.
Apps are great, you should be using them, trying them out.
Why not?
You can do that.
It's pretty easy to do on your phone.
However, if you're not a generally good looking guy, if you're just a guy who's not generally
attractive, you're going to have a very hard time.
There's a lot of girls who are not going to be swiping yes on you.
I’m being brutally honest here.
It's a loser's game for me.
I was getting some girls, but the girls I was super attracted to, those swiping right
on, didn't work out.
I wasn't coming down on myself.
I just know the truth.
Like if you're not an amazing, good looking guy, it's going to be tough for you to get
the types of results that you want on these apps.
There's obviously exceptions.
I know a lot of guys who are, maybe not generally attractive looking guys, but still they're
able to do very well on the app.
It can happen.
That's why I'm not throwing those out of the window either.
Those are something you should use.
Going back to my little percentage breakdown, 70, 15, 15.
70% going out meeting women in person, 15% doing an online dating profile, keep on JDate,
match.com, or PlentyofFish, whatever, and doing a couple of apps.
That was my summer a couple years ago of doing online dating apps, and it was fun.
It's definitely something that's pretty awesome when you first started, you're like, this
is so cool.
You're just swiping through all these profiles, but it gets pretty annoying after that.
That was pretty much it in terms of apps.
I have not done any apps for many years.
I've deleted a lot of the apps.
I don't have any apps on my phone anymore.
I'm focus on going out and meeting girls in person.
I have a blog post where I put out some of my best tips that I have learned and collected
over the years in terms of building a great online dating profile.
What I'm going to do is I'm going to put a link to that in the description below.
It's called “3 Brutally Honest Online Dating Profile Critiques”, where I go in and do
some critiques on some profile.
You can learn how to create an awesome profile if you are on online dating.
Some of these also go to the apps as well.
At the end of the day, when we’re talking about online dating, it's just profile and
your pictures.
That's pretty much it.
It gives some pretty good tips here.
I'm gonna put that link in the description below.
This is a blog post that I wrote a little while back, a couple of years ago.
Check that out if you want to learn more about that.
In conclusion here, I wanted to share with you what my online dating experience was like,
so you can get a sense of what it's like for me and give you some perspective on the different
ways to meet girls.
I've said this a billion times.
I want you to focus more on cold approaching.
I’m not against online dating.
I want it to be minimized.
I know that a lot of guys are using that because it's easy, but at the end of the day, be honest
with yourself, are you going after and are you attracting the girls from the sites and
from the apps that you really want?
If you are, great, then use that.
Still go out and approach.
If it's not, you can sit here and you can tell yourself, tell me, Tripp, I'm not getting
the results I want.
I want you to rethink the whole online dating thing.
Like I said, it's not everything.
There are other ways to meet women.
It is so easy these days.
With smartphones, we can now order pizzas, we can do the shopping, we can meet girls
and it makes it convenient.
Question if it is the right move for you.
That's it.
That's my online dating experience.
Go check out some more tips on how to create an awesome profile in blog post that I'm putting
in the description below.
Just a little link for you.
Like this video and comment below.
What do you think?
Tell me about your online dating experience.
How does it work for you?
Has it been awesome?
What are some of your troubles?
Let's have the conversation below in the comments.
Go ahead, write that down below.
I'll see you on the next video.