Hey everyone. It's Julie Young for Korean American Story and Not Your Average.
Today I am sitting down with Donnie Kwak.
Hello. Hi. Welcome.
Donnie is the East Coast Bureau Chief of The Ringer.
That's correct. That's correct.
And you've had a long and illustrious career in journalism
But we're going to get to that!
But I want to start with just you know
more about you and your personal story.
Well I was born in Takoma Park but I grew up in a place called Glenmont
which is in Montgomery County.
And
for the first
I guess 8 years of my life, I lived in Glenmont
which was pretty diverse.
I mean it was like an apartment complex that I lived in.
Wait so how close is that to Takoma Park?
Close. Very close.
My sister actually went to Takoma Park School
But yeah I mean,
from my recollection of growing up in Glenmont
the condominiums that we grew up in was quite diverse.
So I think that that kind of helped, you know, in my formative years.
Yeah.
And what was it like growing up in the Kwak household?
My parents
were pretty busy people.
You know like typical I think of like immigrant parents but...
You know my childhood was pretty happy-go-lucky I would say.
I mean...
There's like the typical struggles I think
with just adjusting, my parents adjusting to a new country, and being stressed out.
But...
My sister and I kind of made do.
I mean,
in retrospect, I'm probably more aware now as an adult thinking about what they must have gone through.
I think my parents were also like really
open
to what their children, my self and my sister, you know wanted to do.
So,
in that regard I'm really grateful that
I didn't have the typical-
I mean of course my parents wished we were doctors and lawyers
but I ended up going to journalism.
My father was also into journalism.
And my sister's like an academic.
And like a francophile and a professor so...
You know we were supported in those endeavors.
I grew up in Maryland and I was like...
At that time,
the Redskins, pardon the name, was like the huge team and so I got into football.
And because like everybody was into the Redskins like
I became kind of obsessive about the team
And so like I would watch the games and then like make up sports reports.
And then use that big tape recorder and record myself saying like
"The Redskins defeated the Philadelphia Eagles, twenty-seven to twenty."
You know that type of thing like
mimicking basically what I saw.
Like when did you start doing that? Like how old were you?
Shit.
Like I probably did that when I was like seven, eight, nine, like those ages.
So did you wanna be a sportscaster first or a hip hop journalist?
I didn't even really have an idea of what the concept of journalism was but..
I would say from an early age,
I knew I wanted to do something creative.
I wanted to write. I loved reading and writing. And telling stories.
That eventually took shape as like journalism
and more towards the latter years of high school and college but...
Prior to that I was a fan of hip hop.
And I was a fan of sports.
And I definitely didn't like math or science.
So it had to kinda, you know like...
As I was starting to think about,
I need to do something with my life,
I think that that was a natural path.
So where did your love of hip hip come from?
I was just fascinated by it.
It just sounded good.
You know it's like sometimes when you're young and you don't even know
it just like feels good or it sounds good and you just gravitate toward it.
But then as I got older too, the lifestyle was appealing to me.
Kinda of the gangster side - being taboo a little bit.
Why was that appealing to you?
Because it's kind of counter what's anti-forty.
You know I remember listening to N.W.A. and thinking like-
Obviously I'm growing up far from Compton you know.
But I'm just like damn these guys are like-
This is something real you know like
this is something that's like different than what
they're trying to get you to listen to.
For that reason I think it's like a
kind of a
If you're going through a rebellious stage or if you're kind of...
questioning the world and then there's these voices, these loud voices
kind of like adamantly
speaking their minds the and then
it's gonna appeal to you so yeah.
Kinda like the whole original purpose of hip hop right?
Yeah and again like I said I can't stress enough that it's like sub-culture back then.
So it's not popular. It's actually against the grain
Especially as an Asian.
What did your dad think about all that?
He had at that point gone over seas.
So starting from when I was like thirteen or fourteen.
Yeah like so he...
in the midde of his life pivoted
to his credit actually like [he] switched jobs, switched careers.
So,
he had been working as a radio broadcaster and then he
decided to join the foreign service.
Which again,
as I was saying my mother teaching ESL and [in] a country that's not her own is remarkable.
Teaching a language that's not her own is remarkable.
My father ended up working for the U.S. government, and he's from Korea, as a diplomat.
Yeah so...
I remember for a steady year or two years he studied like mad
to pass the test, to become a foreign service officer, which is like the history test.
And also he was first stationed, I think, in Beijing.
So he had to learn Chinese, Mandarin as well.
It was intense. Like he was like-
He was listening to language tapes in the car all the time and he would always be sleeping on the couch and...
Yeah, he worked his ass off to get that and so...
I commend him for that.
But it also, again speaking of being singularly focused on something it's not like
he had time to be a dad really.
And then of course when he got stationed to Beijing,
I think it was Beijing first and then Taipei,
he was just gone.
Like that so...
When you were around thirteen that happened?
Yeah. Right when I was entering high school
But what had happened was...
My sister also left for college at that time.
So then it just became me and my mom instantly.
And then...
So yeah, maybe that also kinda made me
not rebel more because I think I was overall decent kid
or good, well behaved
but I definitely was kinda like on my own thing.
So for the rest of the time you were at home with your mom, your dad wasn't there?
Yeah, he wasn't there.
But it was like you know like....
I don't know why I'm talkin about this type of shit.
He was doing his thing.
Like he ended up traveling
to a lot of different countries actually.
I mentioned Haiti before.
Would you see him intermittently- ?
Nah I saw him intermittently.
Like for example, he was stationed in Haiti and I visited him there.
My sister went to visit him when he was in Beijing.
And then...
Yeah, I visited him in all the countries he was at actually
with the exception of China.
And then he would come home
infrequently.
Infrequently.
So how do you think that affected you, as to like who you are today?
It definitely had an effect I'll say that.
Like I don't know if
all together negative or positive but just
it certainly had an effect.
Yeah because like you know
it kinda changes the dynamic of the family a little bit.
And then also
as a kid who needs parenting
and guidance sometimes,
I don't feel like I lack for it persay but it
also puts you in a position where you need to
bare the brunt of some of that,
earlier than maybe you would want to.
So
you know I think in some ways it's good and some ways it's bad
but
you know it's the past.
So on the podcast,
I asked you
what the most significant relationship in your life has been
and you said it's been with your therapist.
Can you talk about that a little bit?
Significant might not be the adjective I would use but
it's like someone that I'm closest too or somebody that knows everything.
Like I'm not gonna call my mother or my sister and tell her-
tell them about
some old childhood trauma or something.
Or like something bad that I feel like has happened to me.
Or something's that bad that's happening to me now even.
because it's just like-
We don't have that type of relationship.
I can't remember how long ago it was but
yeah I was going through some shit at the time, like nothing too serious.
I wouldn't even call it depression or anything
but I was just kind of
anxious.
I had some anxiety and I was like,
my sister was like, yeah, maybe you should talk to this person
and then I started and then just kept it going.
But you know I loved that you answered in that way because
I just feel like, you know, there's this sort of stigma around talking about mental health issues and
especially in the Korean-American community
and Korean-Korean community.
Yeah look at that guy yeah!
This guy Jonghyun, right? From SHINee.
Yeah like a K-pop star just killed himself.
Clearly we don't know exactly why he did it.
Everybody has their reasons but
from
what we know it sounded like he had all the signs of depression.
It seemed like, I guess I've been reading some blogs now
or like fan sites...
If you read between the lines, not even...
It seems pretty obvious
that he was calling out for help for a while now and
like saying in interviews "I'm depressed."
Even in his lyrics and things like that.
I don't think therapy is thought of as like a
possible solution.
That's a shame.
Donnie I just want to acknowledge you
cause first of all
you are an amazing writer.
I have said many times like I wanna be Donnie when I grow up.
Thank you thank you.
I really appreciate it.
So cheers.
Cheers! Thank you.