[ Gavel bangs ]
Little Bonnie, please take a look around the room.
Is the person who imprisoned you here today?
Yes. Her.
Pink dress.
Oh, it was horrible.
She made me call her "Mama God."
She kept me in a cage and only fed me moths.
[ Jurors gasp ]
Actually developed a taste for 'em.
[ Panting ]
Did I miss anything while I was gone?
Aunt Becky from "Full House" up to anything?
[ Laughs ] I'm just playing.
Even I heard about that college-admissions scandal.
Yep, Mama God told me and Nancy all about it.
I'm sorry. Who?
Oh, Nancy was just one of the many,
many other children mashed into that cage with me.
[ Spectators gasp ]
You're supposed to tell me everything.
So, Mr. Dickle, it's your turn
to cross-examine little Bonnie.
Finally, our side of the story.
All good, dude.
Are you sure? I'm in pretty deep here.
Relax. I got an ace in the hole. You're golden.
Very well, Mr. Dickle.
You may now call your first witness.
Time to see why the call Ed the ultimate showman.
[ Whistles ]
♪ Living in America ♪
♪♪
♪ Hit me ♪
Black belt.
♪ Living in America ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ I walk in and out ♪
[ Chuckles ] Ed Dickle has acquired a tape
of the actual abduction three years ago.
Mr. Dickle, this is not how trials work,
especially not here at the Chimdale County Courthouse
presented by Carruthers Auto Mall.
All evidence must be submitted in advance.
I couldn't submit it in advance. I staged it last night.
It's okay.
There's got to be another
ace in the hole here somewhere.
Here. Don't hang up.
I'm still on hold with the phone company.
This is Sarah B. How may I assist you today?
Oh, my God! Have someone else go for a minute.
Sorry, Sarah, I'm here.
Do you happen to have my bill in front of you?
[ Dance music playing ]
♪ Choka, choka, choka, choka ♪
Young Man: Is that his mom?
♪ Choka, choka, choka, choka ♪
♪ Ombligo con omligo ♪
♪ Choka, choka, choka, choka ♪
♪ Dale, que te sigo ♪
♪ Choka, choka, cho-- Pero muévete conmigo ♪
[ Panting ]
Sorry, everybody.
It wasn't supposed to be that sexy.
Steve, what you just did on the dance floor with your mom...
Yeah?
...is exactly why I want to have a son one day!
I always knew you had talent.
It just took a complete stranger
making the smallest effort to unlock it.
Sister! Oh, my God!
What do we do?
Listen, everything will be okay if we act fast.
I'm going in after her.
Stan, go tell the captain to stop at once.
Steve, offer your coat to the girl.
The girl, accept it, and give Steve a kiss.
Bye-by-y-y-y-e!
Mwah!
Iceberg...
lettuce is the crunchiest lettuce!
Gimme those binoculars.
♪♪
[ Door opens ]
Roger: That was a quick deliberation.
But cuttin' our lunch break short must mean
they can't wait to give us the good news.
This can't be happening.
The jury finds Francine Smith --
oh, thank God -- guilty.
[ Gasps ] [ Gasps ]
Okay, let's wrap this up.
Mr. Dickle, pick a number between one and four.
Four! Perfect.
I hereby sentence Ms. Smith to four life sentences.
I just assumed you'd find a way out of this like you always do.
Yeah, me, too.
But you didn't.
[ Crying ]
Oh, my God.
It's just hitting me what happened here.
I really have lost my edge.