- Hey, everybody, happy Thursday.
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turned on because I put out videos on Mondays
and on Thursdays and I don't want you to miss out.
But let's jump in to today's question
'cause it's a good one.
And the question is, Kati, what do we need to expect
from therapy, like, should we be receiving therapy homework?
Or how do we trust in the therapeutic process more?
I thought this was a great question
because we talk about therapy a lot
and how it's important to get into it,
but I don't think I've actually talked about
what you can expect, so let's talk about it.
Therapy, counseling, psychotherapy,
whatever you wanna call it, it can help
to see a mental health professional for support sometimes.
Know that we can look into seeing a therapist
in our area for many reasons.
Maybe we wanna sleep better
or perhaps we're dealing with infidelity
or trying to feel less anxious.
While we can reach out to see someone at any time,
and don't have to be in a crisis to do so,
it is important that we know what we want
to get out of it.
I say that because many people assume that the therapist
will just guide you and that you don't have to really know
what you wanna get out of it, but that's not true.
In a way, you're the boss of your own therapy.
You get to decide what your goals are,
what you want to improve, and how you wanna get there.
A therapist's job is really just to assess how you're doing,
ask the right questions, and move you towards your goals
by offering tips, techniques, and tools that can help.
So, my first tip is, prior to going in to therapy,
consider what it is you wanna get out of it.
Or at least, what it is you don't like
about your current situation.
And my second word of advice
or thought about this as a whole
is just to remember that therapy won't fix everything
right away, nor can a therapist fix any of your problems.
I know many of you know this,
but it's just something that needs to be said.
Actually working in therapy is really hard.
Yes, it can be exhausting and yes, we may want to give up,
but it's not up to our therapist to work harder
than we are in the therapy process.
In fact, if your therapist is doing more work in therapy
than you are, it's actually a bad sign.
And that means that the therapeutic relationship
may need looking into.
'Cause this can be caused by a lack of healthy boundaries
in therapy or not seeing the right therapist
or seeing someone that we like
but who just doesn't practice
the right type of therapy that we need
and so if they're working harder than us, it's actually bad.
And to answer a part of the question about homework,
as far as that goes, some therapists believe in it
while others don't.
Those who do believe in it tend to be more like me.
They're more behavioral, directed type of therapists.
Others are more talk therapy based
where they believe that talking it out
and getting feedback in session is enough
and that you'll slowly get to the root
of your issues that way.
So, consider what style you may like
prior to seeing a therapist
and now that you can ask questions
before making your first appointment.
You can even ask them to email you their resume
so you can see where they got their training,
their education, you can ask what styles of therapy
they practice, and you can even ask
how they'd treat the issue that you're maybe struggling with
or what you're wanting to work on.
All of that is completely okay
and those are your rights in therapy.
So don't be shy.
Remember, you're hiring them to help you.
So ask questions and pick someone that you feel
will help you the most.
And the fourth part of your question
about trusting in the therapeutic process, that takes time.
It takes time to feel comfortable talking with someone new
and getting into the real work.
That's why I always encourage you
to ask to create a treatment plan together
as soon as possible.
This will not only empower you in the process,
but it can ensure that you are both working
towards the same goals.
This allows you to check up on your therapy,
see what progress is being made,
but if you prefer a less structured type of therapy,
it's also okay just to request to do check-ins
with your therapist about your progress
and your process every couple of months or so
or whatever feels good to you.
But letting them know if you're feeling tired,
overwhelmed, or like what you're doing
and what you're working on
isn't actually making you feel better,
it's important that we work together
with our therapist and let them know that
so that we can get the most out of time together
because if they don't know how we're feeling,
if we're really doing well or struggling
or if what we're working on is truly important,
we won't really get the full benefit from therapy.
The last think I wanna mention is that if we feel ourselves
getting worse, please let your therapist know.
It's not a bad thing to be doing worse.
It actually gives us more information about you
and what you're struggling with
and it can also tell us that the tools
or things we've been working on aren't helping enough.
Maybe they're not the right ones.
So, we may need to increase our sessions each week,
possibly get into a more intensive program,
like a day program or adding in a group,
whatever it may be, because therapy isn't
about making your therapist proud of you
or worrying that they'll be upset about your progress,
therapy is about you, you getting the right help
that you need when you need it most.
So be as honest as you can,
find someone that you truly connect with
because therapy can be such a life-changing
and importantly a life-improving thing.
So, make the most of it.
This video has been brought to you
by the Kinions on Patreon.
If you would like to support the creation
of these mental health videos,
click the link in the description and check it out.
Please let me know in those comments down below
if I forgot something or if you have other tips
and tricks about what to expect in therapy
and how you were able to trust in the process altogether,
because with your experience and my expertise,
we will keep working towards a healthy mind
and a healthy body.
And I will see you next time, bye.