After careful study, I have determined that this
place does in fact have the best burgers in the known Universe.
Yeah, especially if you order from the secret menu.
Oh, I love the secret menu! It makes me feel so mysterious.
You can get Square Bun Style... That’s where the burger has a square bun.
Or Double Onion Style... Oddly, that’s triple onions.
Or “The Talking Tom”... Which is just a regular burger,
but they name it after you.
I’m gonna get mine “Free Style”! That’s where you get a burger, and it’s free.
I don’t think “Free Style” is a real thing.
There’s “Freeze Style”, where the meat is still frozen.
And “Freak Style”. Where the burger really freaks you out.
Oh. Well, what about on the double-secret menu?
There’s a double-secret menu?!
No, I made it up. Can anyone give me money to buy a hamburger?
What kind of a dirty rotten world do we live in?
Where you always have to pay for a hamburger? How is that fair?
Hank, I was kind of about to --
I mean, seriously, I already pay for rent, and electricity, and TV theme song downloads.
I’m not made of money, Tom! I’m not a tree!
I’m not a dog of means.
If you’re short on cash, why don’t you try CashKicker?
Cash-a-what-now?
It’s that web site where you ask people for money,
and if they think it’s for a good reason, they give it to you.
You think CashKicker campaign could get as much as three dollars?
It could, if the video where you beg for money it’s convincing enough.
Hi, everyone! My name is Frank! Not it’s not!
I need to eat a hamburger. And I need you to help me achieve that lofty
and delicious goal. Hold on, I pointed the wrong way.
I’m Hank’s tummy! And me want hamburger! Me so hungry.
I heard these campaigns go better if I make this personal.
So, this message is going out to you, Beth. And you, Kristoff.
And Aimee. But not you Mike. Definitely not you. I’m not gonna mention
your name, Mike.
He doesn't want your loving. He doesn't want no fame.
He just wants a hamburger. So please give Hank a hamburger!
Live your dreams!
I think we got it!
Hank’s project is an insult to everyone with a real CashKicker campaign. Like my campaign.
I’m perfecting the ability to create hand-held holograms.
With this amazing new technology, you can be holding something, and then...
Surprise! It was a hologram! Anyway, it’s better than Hank’s burger thing.
That guy’s not gonna raise a dime!
You raised a million dollars on CashKicker?
Yeah, I only needed three. Turns out it was as easy as you said it would be.
But... this flies in the face of statistics. And logic.
And physics! In no sane world does this happen!
What can I say… I guess people just like the idea of buying me a hamburger.
Wow. Okay. Wow. This changes everything. We’re gonna have to buy a fancy new car.
And then we gonna drive that fancy new car on a boat!
Wait, that might ruin the boat. It doesn’t matter, we got a million dollars!
Er, about that…
We don’t have the money any more, because I spent it all on hamburgers.
You what?! Why would you do that?
Tom, people gave me this money for one reason: to buy burgers.
Still... We could have had save some money for
like a helicopter too. You know, something small.
Look, your CashKicker idea was super great! I wanted a burger, I got a ridiculous amount or burgers.
I made a giant burger mountain in the back yard,
and now I’m eating a burger.
Everything worked out fine Tom. You want a burger?
Congratulations on your big success, Hank! You’re my hero!
Well, the secret is asking in a way that makes people want to give.
Yeah, and making crazy promises.
Like promising you’d eat a burger with anyone who gave you money? Totally stupid!
I love it!
I said what? That doesn’t sound like me.
And anyone who gives me money will get to sit down with me and personally watch me eat the burger.
That does sound like me. And it looks like me, too.
So, either I have an evil twin... Or I am the evil twin!
Hank, I just said you’re my hero, and heroes always keep their promises.
And since I contributed one penny to your campaign,
I demand you eat a hamburger, now!
Well a promise is a promise.
So apparently I owe every single one of my million dollars worth of backers some one-on-one
burger time. That’s... a lot of burger time.
But maybe Ginger is the only one who cares. Maybe most of those people won’t even call
in for their reward.
You’re calling in for your reward?
Remember there are hungry children in the world.
So don’t waste any sauce and finish the bun.
This is totally my fault. If I hadn’t done such a good job singing,
less people would have given money and you wouldn’t be in this position.
Aw, don’t say that. There was a lot going on in that video.
No, Hank. I was really, really good. And now I have to live with that.
Just eat this quickly. I’m sorry I did this to you.
Awwww yeah! B-b-b-b-b-burger in the house! It’s Hank eating a burger time, y’all!
Oh, I just ordered a small water.
I know. But I backed your campaign. So I get to watch you eat this.
Dr. Internet Doctor here! If you’re feeling sick, then I’m your pick!
Oh hey, Hank! How are you feeling my good man?
Uh, hey Doc. I’m not feeling so well.
Any changes to your diet. Like, let’s say, adding a ridiculous amount of hamburgers?
How did you know?
I saw your CashKicker, it’s all everyone is talking about here on the internet.
Everyone who contributed is expecting me to eat a burger with them. What I want?
That can’t be healthy, right?
Well, as a medical professional, I have to agree that eating that many burgers
can’t be good. For your own safety and
the safety of those around you, I advise you to stop.
Oh, that is such a relief!
But as a guy who gave 75 cents to your campaign,
I’m also looking forward to watching you eat a burger!
Well, you are the Doctor.
I trusted you! I gave you so much of my attention and time,
and this is how you repay me?! Traitor! Villain! Unfair!
Ben, buddy! Everything okay here?
The CashKicker campaign for my personal hologram app has completely stalled out.
I only made ten dollars. Actually less, because some jerk took back his donation.
Oh... that was me. I gave it to Hank.
I even made a video like Hank, but it didn’t work. I don’t know why?
You know what? I don't even want your money! You people don’t deserve my app!
All of you should be ashamed of yourselves! Shame!
It ends with me just screaming into a pillow.
I guess it’s always good to blow off some steam...
I’m just frustrated that Hank is so successful with his dumb hamburger campaign!
While I’m scrambling to try to get my world-changing app made,
he’s living the high life.
Did anyone call for me!? Don’t answer that.
No one’s in the other room with a burger for me to eat, right?
No one’s hiding in the couch disguised as a ketchup packet, are they? Are they?
You can run but you can’t hide Ketchup Man. I will find you!
What’s going on?
Could be a symptom of pickle poisoning. That’s a common side effect of an overdose on burgers.
Buddy? You eat too many pickles? It making you brain-crazy?
I’m in trouble, guys. I made a crazy crazy promise that
I’d eat a burger with anyone who gave me money. But so many people gave me money!
That I can’t possibly eat that many hamburgers!
That’s what you get for being frivolous on the Internet.
I know. I really frivolous’ed things up.
You did! Everyone was giving money to your burger campaign, so no one gave money to my
hologram campaign, which was way more important.
I’m sorry! If I could somehow use my powers over burgers to help you, I would!
That gives me an idea!
Thank you for backing my burger campaign, Joan!
Now I’m going to eat this just for you, Joan!
Okay. Set up the next one!
Thanks for backing my burger campaign…
Boris!
Now I’m going to eat this just for you!
One thousand hologram burgers, zero calories.
Just another seventy-two hours of this and we can get through all the rest of Hank’s backers.
What’s the matter, Ben?
Well, when you said: “That gives me an idea” earlier,
you implied that Hank’s burgers could help me.
But all we’re doing is helping Hank. Again. My campaign is still unfunded.
That’s true... But at least you proved that your app works!
So in a way, this was really a victory for you.
But that’s not what I wanted.
A victory.
No, you see--
Victory!
Argh!
He doesn't want your loving.
He doesn't want no fame.
Ok…
He just wants to make a hologram.
Not really…
So help and make a hologram.
Okay but technically it is a device that projects a hologram.