Well, thank you, President Price.
And to everyone who has worked behind the scenes preparing for this special day.
Good morning, fellow trustees, distinguished faculty, and administration,
honorees, families and friends,
and most importantly, the Duke University Class of 2022.
Congratulations to each and every one of you.
As the proud mom of two recent Duke graduates, I have sat in the audience
for commencement twice before, including last year,
when John Legend was here.
When President Price to asked me to speak today,
my first thought was, 'Oh, no, not after John Legend.'
He will be very tough to follow, follow.
But I assure you, I have absolutely no plans to sing today.
That would not turn out well for either of us.
It is an incredible honor to be asked to be with you today.
This is a very special moment worthy of the pomp
and circumstance that surrounds it.
And for those of you who started the celebration last night
and maybe celebrated a bit too much, thank you for making it here this morning.
Behind every high and every low.
Your family, your friends, professors and mentors have likely played a role.
Today is a celebration of you
and everyone who helped make you, you.
And today is also Mother's Day.
So for all the mothers present elsewhere,
are with us in spirit, we are here because of you.
And nothing can ever replace you.
So please, let's once again thank all of the mothers for everything.
(applause) My story
starts with my family because family means so much to me.
My mom came from a large family with eight kids and grew up on a farm
in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
She grew up during the Depression and they were very poor.
My dad grew up in Minnesota
in the Iron Range area, and also during the Depression
he earned a Gold Star and a Purple Heart serving in World War Two.
And he was at General Motors for 39 years as a dye maker.
A dye maker is a skilled tradesperson who actually makes the forms
for all of the panels on the outside of a vehicle fenders, hoods, etc..
And they both believed in the American dream.
That if you worked hard enough, got yourself an education,
believed in yourself, you could achieve anything.
They that instilled it in me and my brother, and I still believe it today.
And when I think about growing up,
many of my memories are from our kitchen table.
It was a brown Formica table with four chairs.
I sat across from my brother and looked at the wall
where my mom's needlepoint was hanging
every day after school and eventually after work.
We would sit and talk about the day at that kitchen table.
Often we had extended family and neighbors drop by.
There was always room at our table.
And what I didn't realize at the time was
those conversations were some of the most formative of my life.
Who I am as a person, a wife,
a mother, a friend, and as a leader.
So what did I learn at that kitchen table?
I would like to share five lessons.
One: do your best.
Two: find your purpose.
Three: listen to understand.
Fourth: be honest always.
And fifth: include one more.
I've learned time and again
how fundamental these lessons have been and continue to be.
So let's get started.
Number one from the kitchen table.
Do your best. Just three words.
Over the years as a student, parent, leader and mentor,
I've met and worked with many talented people.
But while talent gives you a head start, it's not nearly enough to win.
You need more. And I've learned that one important trait
that distinct distinguishes those who truly excel in life is hard work.
When I was little, I was not athletic.
My husband and kids can confirm this is still true today.
No one wants to be my pickleball partner.
I was a nerd and grades were really important to me.
After a test, I would worry that I didn't do well.
And my mom would always ask me, 'Did you do the best you could?'
And I would say, 'yes.' And then she would say, 'That's all that matters.'
When I was younger, that voice sometimes annoyed me.
I found it so dismissive.
But the older I got, the more I found myself calling home
to hear those words after a tough test or a tough day.
I've always been a big believer in the expression hard work beats talent.
If talent doesn't work hard
and to quote Coach K, 'Believe
that loose ball you are chasing has your name on it.
If you choose to do something, do your best, work hard.'
A degree from Duke will open doors and give you a boost.
That's for sure.
But speak up, volunteer, contribute.
And when people need help, don't look the other way.
It is the amount of effort you put in
that will enable you to accomplish more than you ever imagined.
Number two from the kitchen table.
Find your purpose.
I have been at General Motors my entire career.
And it's been said when I was 18, I started as a co-op student,
meaning I would work for three months and go to school three months.
And I did that for five years.
It paid for college.
It's where I met my husband, Tony, of 36 years.
My very first job at GM was being a quality inspector
on the assembly line, inspecting the vendors and who had panels.
And my only company issued equipment was a clipboard and some safety glasses.
And I learned working on an assembly line is hard work.
And the people who do it are talented.
Because I was a co-op student while going to school, I rotated through
many areas like the assembly line, and I met many people
to a person. They were generous with their time
and taught me what I needed to know for my specific assignment.
But I also got to see the company and the world from their perspective.
Often they would share their dreams and their struggles.
And I learned empathy, putting myself in their shoes.
Empathy. It's the ability to share and understand the feelings
of one another, and it's foundational to any form of leadership.
Since that first job, I've worked as an executive
assistant to the chairman and vice chairman in communications,
in HR, as a plant manager and in product development.
And as I grew, my roots at General Motors deepened,
and my empathy for the incredible people who pour their heart
and soul into the company grew.
I slowly started to connect with my purpose, and I realized
I had a role to play with people to help them be their best selves.
And with General Motors, that I would be part of a turnaround
to see GM once again become a respected industry leader.
Purpose is the answer to why.
Always ask yourself why.
It's a simple question, and being honest with yourself will help
help you navigate big decisions and small ones.
It will give you clarity and fuel you in challenging times.
Now, you may not have your life's purpose figured out yet.
If you do, that's wonderful.
Treat it as your North Star and you may veer on occasion,
but always find your way back.
If you don't have it figured out yet, that's okay.
But seek it because trust me, it will save you a lot of time just wandering around.
Number three from the kitchen table.
Listen to understand.
Listening is foundational to everything.
And not just listening to respond or defend.
But truly listening to understand.
Because listening to understand leads to the ability to respect
other people's points of view, even if they're different than your own.
Now, one of my roles at General Motors was leading global
human resources.
Candidly, I didn't have
a lot of HR experience, but I felt I could make a difference.
It was at a critical time for the company, and I immediately
began identifying areas
where I believed we could improve the company's performance.
One area was a vacation policy, particularly a program
that allowed you to buy four extra vacation days each year.
At the time, it seemed to me that the program had outlived
its usefulness and no longer had a place in our leaner, more nimble company.
Now, my H.R. team told me it was a bad idea,
but I was convinced I was right.
So I eliminated it.
The next day, all I can say
is that I nearly got eliminated myself.
It was a truly unpopular move.
But that's not what made it wrong.
What made it wrong was that I didn't understand.
I didn't listen to my team.
And so I didn't understand how important these days were.
People were using these extra days to help them get the flexibility
they needed to manage their work and personal lives, and in particular,
to be there for important personal moments like caring for a parent, attending
a child's sporting game, or attending an important event with your partner.
More often than not, they use these days a fraction
at a time, a few hours here and there.
Long story short, I course corrected
and we reinstated the policy and we did it quickly.
You're not going to get it right 100% of the time. No one does.
But don't be so proud to think that you have all the answers. Listen.
Number four from the kitchen table.
Be honest always.
You will make mistakes.
You will mess up.
Will you run? Will you look the other way?
Will you hope they blame someone else or will you own it?
Owning your mistakes and working to fix them is one of the best ways to learn.
And I would also say it helps you sleep at night.
I've actually found it empowering to admit a mistake.
And after all, quite often most people around, you know,
you already made the mistake.
And once you own it, you can go about fixing it.
Being honest also means finding your voice and having a point of view.
Don't sit in a meeting waiting for someone else to offer up
your ideas and perspectives and find a way to respectfully share feedback.
Everything works better when we're able to share and receive feedback graciously.
You owe it to yourself and those around you.
And your integrity is everything.
It takes years to build, and it can crumble in a moment.
And when it's gone, it's almost impossible to get back.
So protected in everything you do.
Assume goodness on the part of others.
Do what you say you're going to do.
And always remember that if you win without integrity, you really haven't won.
And number five, possibly the most important lesson I learned:
include one more.
Make room at the table.
Like I said, it wasn't just
my mom, my dad, my brother and I at the table.
More often than not, family or friends would drop by after school or work.
We'd pull up extra chairs, and then all of a sudden it would be dinnertime.
My mom would put on the table whatever she had planned for dinner,
and then if she didn't have enough, she would make tuna fish sandwiches.
There was definitely a point in my life when I saw her going to the cupboard.
I think, Please, no, not tuna.
And I have to admit, I was a little embarrassed that
that's all we could offer.
And then many years later, at my mother's funeral,
my cousin Cheryl, who is a deaconess, did the eulogy.
She started out by asking how many people have ever
had a tuna fish sandwich at an Eva's house, hands shot up
all across the room with everyone with big smiles on their faces.
And that's when I realized it had nothing to do with the tuna.
When you were at my house, you were going to talk.
People were going to listen, you were going to laugh for sure.
And you might even cry either from sadness or happiness,
and you would be fed even if it was a tuna sandwich.
There's always room for one more.
Everyone was included.
And that's what Tony and I have tried to do for our children.
And that's what I try to do professionally as well.
You know, there's a lot that's not right in the world.
Plenty to be worried about.
But there are also so many reasons for hope.
And I think the collective conversation and progress we're making on
the power of inclusion is a huge cause for hope.
And you, the next generation of leaders are driving that.
You're challenging assumptions and you're pushing all of us to be better.
I hope you never stop.
So that's it. That's my message today.
Thank you for letting me share
a little bit of my story and what I've learned along the way.
You are at a remarkable point in your lives, in a remarkable time.
Whatever path you choose, you will have opportunity.
When that opportunity comes, what will you do with it?
Will you give of yourself?
Will you protect what needs protecting?
Will you leave this world a little better than you found it?
I believe you will.
So find your people.
Create your own kitchen table.
Discover your own wisdom.
And as you celebrate.
Please thank the people who have cheered you on.
They will keep you grounded and focused on what's truly important in life.
Congratulations on everything you've already accomplished
and everything you're about to accomplish as the bright future
you have in front of you awaits you. Thank you.