- [Narrator] Do you often notice your relationships
don't turn out the best.
Perhaps the wrong partner keeps gravitating towards you
or maybe you miss out on seeing
when the right one is right in front of you.
Maybe you suspect your partner
is suffering from toxic attachment.
Toxic attachment is characterized
by behaviors like jealousy, manipulation,
dominance, selfishness, and desperation.
Whatever the reason for your relationship troubles,
it's best to know the signs of a toxic relationship
and their patterns.
So to help you identify your relationship as a toxic one,
here are six toxic relationship patterns
you need to look out for.
Number one, being too dependent.
It's important to nurture a healthy relationship
but it shouldn't be the only focus in your life.
We all should care about our partner
but it can be unhealthy
if your partner always needs you to be around.
You and your partner should be comfortable
going out every now and then without each other.
If you always check your partner's plans
to see if they're available,
even if you are the only one invited,
you should take a moment
to see if you're too dependent on the other.
It's important to respect each other
when your partner needs some alone time.
Number two, being too independent.
Just as someone can be too dependent,
someone can also be too independent.
Is your partner often aloof and detached around you?
Do they barely spend time with you?
And when they do, do they always pick where to eat
or where to go out on a date?
What about the big decisions in your relationship
who guides them and makes them?
It's a key point that both of you have a say
in where the relationship goes.
Your core value should be similar if not the same.
And choices as a couple should be a team effort
and decision.
If your partner always insists things be their way
or they act as if they have power over you,
you could be in a toxic relationship.
Number three, manipulation.
Does your partner play with your emotions
to get what they want?
They may be using a form of manipulation
such as emotional coercion.
Emotional coercion is when someone uses emotions
such as guilt, grief, anger or happiness
to get what they want from you.
They do this with no regard to other's feelings,
only their own.
Someone can manipulate you
through a series of seemingly small steps
until you soon adapt to them.
Sooner or later the steps will be a lot larger,
but you'll have gotten used to them
through the gradual approach your partner may have used.
If you think your partner is manipulating you,
it's best to get out of the relationship
and seek help and comfort from your family or friends.
There are people who unfortunately suffer
from these toxic relationships
but it is possible to get out,
heal and move on to a healthy relationship.
Number four, merging identities.
Do you find yourself abandoning your solo hobbies
to instead only do things that you both like as a couple?
Do you find yourself losing your own personal friends
due to only choosing to hang out with the friends
that you and your partner share as a couple?
You may even find your individual identity slipping away.
You and your partner may be emerging identities
and this pattern can be very toxic.
It's important that our individual identity
outside of our romantic partner still thrives.
You shouldn't try to change your personality or self
to the point that you're no longer you.
You can both exist outside of couple status.
It's important to remember that
no matter how alike we may be someone,
we will always think, behave
and act unique to ourselves.
We are each unique
and shouldn't try to change what makes us us.
Number five, selfishness and making demands.
Does your partner always make things about them?
Do they act selfishly and make demands of you?
Maybe lately, you've been feeling
as if they assert power over you.
Nobody should have all the power in a relationship
and a good partner cares about the other's needs
as well as their own.
Maybe your partner often ignores your desires
and thinks only of their own.
Perhaps you really enjoy going out on romantic dates
every now and then nothing too fancy,
but you notice your partner always shuts down
any form of romance that you enjoy.
Instead they want only what they like.
Maybe it's the opposite,
and your partner always demands you get them gifts
or do them favors
but they never think to do the same for you.
It's important to recognize these patterns
before you lose your sense of self.
There are plenty of fish in the sea.
Perhaps you'll meet one who isn't as selfish,
see what I did there.
And number six, confusing love with emotional hunger.
Are you in love or are you just emotionally hungry?
We may think that we're in love with someone,
but it may be that instead we're suffering
from emotional hunger.
Emotional hunger can be caused by deprivation in childhood.
And those who suffer from emotional hunger
usually look to fill a void or emptiness in themselves.
They often try to fill this emotional void
in their relationships.
If you started your relationship out of desperation
and only had attention and affection in mind,
it's best to evaluate
if that desire is being mistaken as true love.
Remember it's best to form a strong identity
outside of your relationship as well.
You are your own individual.
It's important that
you don't both fully depend on each other for everything
and that you aren't so independent from each other
that you don't think of your partner's needs at all.
So if you recognize your relationship is off balanced
and toxic,
it's probably in your best interest to bring it to an end.
Choose to look for love
that plays on an equal playing field.
You may even need to work on your relationship with yourself
before moving on to a new one.
But just know it is possible to find a love that is fair
and true as long as they're still being them
and you still being you.
So have you experienced
any of these toxic relationship patterns?
If so, how will you break it to your partner
that something needs to change
or how will you let them go?
Feel free to share in the comments,
we're always here to support you.
If you found this video helpful
don't forget to click the like button
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who you might think is suffering from a toxic relationship.
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