hi Dr Ross I got a problem I can't last more than a few minutes but with my previous girlfriend I
would last 30 minutes a whole hour but with my current new girlfriend it's a few minutes
need help you know this is interesting because when they study actually gentlemen who happen
to have a heart attack during sex one thing that is notable the guys that actually end up having
a heart attack during sex it's actually with a new person usually it's not with the same person
that they've been with all these years because what happens when you've been with someone and
you're accustomed to how it feels and how it flows you know it's great but it just doesn't
have that extra level of excitement right so you get with your new partner you've got
this extra level of newness and excitement and Bam your your uh your your misfiring
so a couple things to think about when you're trying to last longer one is that you've got to
improve your pelvic floor strength right because see what's happening is when you're actually
finishing and you're ejaculating your prostate and the pelvic floor is doing a little spasm and Boop
it's going so if we can strengthen the pelvic floor and strengthen the prostatic response
you won't quite have as much disappointment as as you've had in the past another thing is that over
time as your prostate begins to swell you know every decade of life it's getting a little bigger
it's getting a little bigger it's getting a little bigger remember the prostate is an integral part
of this process of ejaculation right so whether the prostate maybe is bogged down because uh you
know the ducts are clogged or what have you it's become weakened because it's become enlarged all
of that can potentially happen and as a result of it premature ejaculation is one of the things
that I see a lot in guys who actually have an enlarged prostate so for those of you who are
working to correct those types of things fantastic maybe you're doing prostate massage maybe you're
taking supplements maybe you've got your own protocol that you're using but honestly when you
find that you're with somebody and you can't last very long I want you to think of it like you think
of anything like you ran a marathon and couldn't get finished okay so what do you do you're like
well shoot I'm going to train for it so that I'm ready next time right you run a race you
lose what do you do you go back you get better so here's what I want you to do and um if you follow
Stephen Smith one of my favorite sexologists who actually graduated from the Dr Rachel Institute
one of the things that he coaches is really practicing and what practice does is helps you
make get perfect so what you're doing is you're practicing for the practice but you're you're
practicing up until the moment where you're about to explode and then you don't and honestly you
want to practice in an environment that feels so good that it's really hard to hold back right so
maybe you've gotten a sleeve and you're using that to masturbate or maybe you're using a latex toy to
help you masturbate something that just feels so good how could you possibly last very long because
what does that do it actually trains you to last longer right and then what I want you to do too is
whatever favorite positions you have that you are not being able to perform in you want to practice
in those positions right so here's what you do when you when you're masturbating right you just
kind of lean back and or some people are on their belly and they're doing it right you actually want
to do it with a purpose and the purposes so that you can train yourself to last longer so you don't
want to go all the way up till you finish you want to go all the way up until you're about to finish
and then use that dick up that I talk about that I've been teaching that I've been preaching you
want to use that clamp down and see if you can get it to stop and you'll have a misfire every
now and then but the more you do that the more you're actually starting to train yourself to
last longer in those situations but I tell you this with a boggy prostate and a large prostate
it is really hard to last as long as you'd like so oftentimes you need to do what Stephen did and
get a prostate massager and yes I do have a set of prostate massages that I recommend whether you're
doing it from the external or whether you're doing it internally I've got the links below for you for
that because listen if your doctor signs off on prostate massage I've seen prostate massage change
the game and it has certainly changed the game in the in the space with uh Steven between that and
in this pump so listen uh I I honestly think for you you've got to kind of pull back a little bit
and work on yourself right and and you know ladies it's the same type of thing there's a
lot of things that we could do to be better sexually too right so if you're suffering
from from vaginal dryness what do you do before the session starts you put a suppository in you
put something in that that mimics lubrication so that when your partner puts their hand down
there and feels all that moisture they're like they're excited right so it it it it
it's it's kind of a Jedi mind trick but what it's also doing is it's just helping boost
everybody because your partner puts their hand down there it's moist they're like oh did I do
that right so then they get turned on more and that turns you on more and becomes this vicious
cycle right so in the situation of premature ejaculation though you've got to kind of train
yourself pull back from the sexual situation and create your own training environment so that you
can then go back and and last longer so get deal with the root of the problem sometimes
it's the prostate right sometimes it's your brain you're anxious it's new you're like oh my God and
then it's there right so another thing is being mindful staying in the in the moment practicing
mindful meditation so that your brain is there with your partner and it's not wandering and
so on and so forth and that can help you last longer too thank you Adam for that question