South Island NEW ZEALAND
Wanaka Airport 0700 Hours
MOOG: We’re about to be dropped into one of the most remote parts of the planet.
The south island of New Zealand and we’ve got 24 hours to survive and make our way back to civilization.
This is the all-new Ford Ranger and we’ve battled some freaking epic New Zealand landscape so we can review it for you.
Ours is the Wildtrak but the Ranger comes in a variety of different models so let’s cover the basics.
The Ranger is a proper Ute and it makes a mad tow vehicle for your racecar or your boat...
...with a 3.5 tonne towing capacity. Under the bonnet, there’s a 3.2L turbo diesel engine...
...pushing out around 147 kilowatts and 470 newton meters of torque.
Inside the cabin, you’ve got all sorts of clever technology including the Sync 2 system...
...which gives you voice control for hands-free phone, music and even your climate control.
Plus, you can listen to your text messages and do your navigation.
It’s got a locking rear diff, hill descent control and you can shift on the fly between 2 wheel drive and 4 wheel drive.
So, that’s the basics, and now it’s time to hit the road.
MOOG: So, my feeling is Marty if that way is north and that way is west then we probably head that way.
Marty: That makes no sense!
MOOG: Because see…
Marty: That makes no sense because we’re going up the hill. Dude, marlins swim downstream.
MOOG: No, upstream.
Marty: Yeah, but to be… MOOG: Upstream.
Marty: Yeah, but for survival you walk upstream… MOOG: Have you not seen any of these documentaries?
They go upstream. They jump into the mouths of the bears. You’ve never seen the marlin do that?
Marty: The marlin do that?
MOOG: You’ve never seen that on National Geographic!
MOOG: Anyway, so the point is we are somewhere here.
Marty: We’re not on a... MOOG: Maybe we’re on this side.
Marty: You don’t even know…What are you looking...What are you doing?
MOOG: Maybe we’re near Bob’s reach around Marty: We’re definitely not near Bob’s reach around. That’s later.
MOOG: Look down here, there’s catfish. That’s what you want.
(MOOG and Marty tearing up the map together)
MOOG: Let’s just go. No maps required.
MOOG: Alright, so…we’re going then.
MOOG: So, we are here, in the brand new Ford Ranger. Um…I don’t know why to be honest...
...because we’ve never reviewed a new car before. And, I’ve never gone 4 wheel driving. Have you?
Marty: No, never.
MOOG: So, we’re the right people for the job then!
Marty: Yeah man. MOOG: Look what we’ve got man!
Marty: Our little adventure magazine. MOOG: Yeah, I got a 4 wheel drive magazine...
and we’ve got the Ford Ranger Owner’s Manual.
Marty: And I’ve got an atlas.
MOOG: Yeah, oh!
MOOG: So, for starters…
Marty: Hey, look Dongara
MOOG: Ok, that’s the wrong country my friend.
MOOG: Of course, we’re not really littering in the beautiful New Zealand.
MOOG: Ok, so I’m into neutral. I’m going into 4 low.
I’m going into drive and we’re driving through a river my friend.
Marty: Yes, I think that’s known as a creek in 4 wheel drive land.
MOOG: Dude, it is…it is like the Amazon. Look at this!
MOOG: YES Marty: Did that feel good?
MOOG: Yeah, well…I’ve…It didn’t feel bad.
Presenter: Okay, let’s be honest for a second. We don’t actually know anything about this car at all but luckily, we’ve got the Owner’s Manual.
MOOG: Can I stop halfway up a hill? Marty: If you want to, yeah.
MOOG: Will I…Will we roll backwards? Marty: You might roll back…
Marty: It’s like a hill holder. Marty: And you’re supposed to go…uhm…
...as slow…no…as slow as possible but fast enough. Is that a term that they use?
MOOG: As fast as necessary, as slow as possible? Marty: In 4 wheel drive low, it’ll still shift gears.
MOOG: Okay.
Marty: You can do it manually as well. You can flick it across in the manual. It’s pretty cool.
MOOG: Martin, we’re 4 wheel driving my friend.
Presenter: We have 24 hours to find our way out of here and meet a barge, which only comes once a week. If we miss it, we really will be stuck in the wild.
MOOG: Tell us a little bit about this beautiful place that we’re in! We have no idea where we are.
Marty: This is a station…
MOOG: Okay. Marty: …which kind of means is a massive...
...enormous block of land, which is 27 kilometers by 27 kilometers. It’s one of the most remote places in the world.
It’s in the south island…beautiful landscape. So, it’s a station so it is a working farm. There are 35,000 units of animals here.
Presenter: This really is one of the most incredible landscapes on the planet and now, we’ve just reached a hill.
MOOG: We’ve got to our first hill. We’re going down and then we’re gonna cross a waterfall. And so, there’s a button here, which is a car going down a hill. So…
Marty: It looks like a little cruise control icon…
MOOG: I’m gonna press that.
MOOG: Okay, Hill Descent Control ready. What do we do then?
Marty: Uhm, so…it’ll work at speeds less than 35 K’s. MOOG: That’s good.
Marty: And you activate it above 40. And turns off at 60. It doesn’t work on the diff’s lock just so it has full control. And it’s gonna control the diff by…
MOOG: It’s gonna take us down and brake the wheel individually.
Marty: You don’t need your feet on. MOOG: Okay.
Marty: The car is doing all that. MOOG: Okay. It’s doing…Now…I…
Marty: Can you hear it braking individual wheels?
MOOG: Yes and now I do the speed with these buttons here.
Marty: You can turn it up or down with this… MOOG: Oh, just like cruise control.
Marty: Exactly. MOOG: Are we going down a hill? Okay, this is cool.
Marty: And you can’t take it front on, you gotta get a bit of an angle on this last…
MOOG: I’m really worried that I’m gonna like knock our lowered front lip off but we’re not lowered.
MOOG: So, but, it’s a similar tactic to getting out of a car park when you’ve got a lowered car. It’s the same kind of process.
And now, this is good…this is good. On the juice. Up we go. Oh yes. No, your Sylvia can’t do that.
Presenter: For a couple of guys used to drag racing and drifting, we’re feeling pretty good about conquering our first hill but now, this is a car review so here’s some more car review-y stuff from the experts.
MOOG: So we know nothing about 4 wheel drives or 4 wheel driving but this is what we know so far about this car.
Marty: It’s an actual proper truck…like a Ute…like on chasey rails it’s not just like a…like a…same build as a hatchback…like it’s a proper truck.
MOOG: It’s a got a reverse camera Martin.
Marty: Fancy pancy screens. Twin screens. MOOG: Uphill assist
Marty: There’s the lane keeping thing. MOOG: Yep, safety stuff to make sure you stay in your lanes, which we’ve turned off on ours.
Marty: Yeah. MOOG: You can change from 2 high to 4 high on the fly.
When you go down a hill, you can press a button and it will automatically brake...
...different wheels for you and then you use the speed controls for the cruise control...
...on your steering wheel to control your ascent. Marty: It’s got like a blind spot identification thing...
...so you can tell when stuffs in your blind spot. There’s a collision thing, like a radar shooting up prompts so if you come close to like another person it will...
…it will help you brake. The thing about that is you can get a lot of this stuff in like high-end luxury cars but this is a Ute.
MOOG: Yeah.
Marty: Like a legitimate, you take out to the country do what we are doing kind of thing.
MOOG: Which is what, I mean it’s a working Ute. In New Zealand, this is the biggest selling car.
Marty: Yeah.
MOOG: They have. They are crazy for them over here.
Marty: It kind of makes sense why like this is what you do but this is also a factory car.
It’s worth mentioning that it’s a factory car here.
MOOG: Factory car. Exactly as it left the factory and now we’re trying to defeat these mountains with it so we’re doing pretty well Martin.
The other reason that you and I have to be proud Martin is this car was designed by Aussies mate.
It’s exported to like hundreds of countries all over the world. Almost 200 countries.
Marty: Made by Aussies and it’s the most popular car in New Zealand.
MOOG: That’s right. Marty: You know the woman today when I was getting breakfast...
...she didn’t wanna give me Vegemite. She looked at me funny like she didn't knew what Vegemite was!
MOOG: That wasn’t because of the Vegemite, cause you weren’t wearing any pants.
Marty: You gotta do a bit of a KFC drive through driveway kind of feel. MOOG: Oh, do you?
Okay. Do you have a veggie burger?
Marty: Who said a veggie burger? MOOG: I though you said we’re doing a KFC drive through?
MOOG: Oh you mean getting into the carpark like a KFC drive through, like this.
MOOG: I thought you meant we had to like order KFC drive through and then flick it the other way.
Marty: You’re a legit 4 wheel driver now. MOOG: Oh, am I?
Marty: Yeah. MOOG: Alright, let’s go.
Marty: Up the hill. MOOG: Up the hill.
Marty: Second gear. Third gear. MOOG: Oh, humpaty hump.
Marty: Another one. MOOG: Here we go. KFC drive through?
Marty: Yeah, yeah KFC drive through. MOOG: OHHHH!
Presenter: As we cross another little creek, it’s worth mentioning that New Zealand has...
...some of the cleanest water in the known universe. Fresh snow from the icy peaks that we conquered...
...this morning melt and runs down the mountainside creating crystal clear fresh water and my friend here is pretty excited about it.
Marty: You know what’s in fresh water?
MOOG: Ummmm Marty: Marlin
MOOG: Really? Marty: Dude, I’m gonna catch me a fresh water marlin.
MOOG: Really?
Marty: Yep. The biggest marlin ever caught in New Zealand is like in a hundreds of kilos…
...2 or 3 hundred kilos, something like that. I’m gonna catch a fresh water blue fin white belly marlin.
MOOG: You don’t even own a fishing rod.
Marty: Dude, there’s fishing rod in the back, the whole way since we got here. I’ve got a fishing rod.
MOOG: You’ve never been fishing in your life man.
MOOG: Dude, c’mon man, I’ve known you for a long time. I’ve never seen you fish in my life and now you’re Mr. Fishing Rod marlin man.
MOOG: What was the last fish you caught and when was it?
Marty: It was a swordfish.
MOOG: Do you even know how to catch a marlin? Marty: I’ve been catching marlins since you were a kid.
Marty: You think someone who hasn’t been fishing for a long time would ever wear this shirt?
Marty: Point is, I’m gonna catch myself a mad blue fin white belly marlin…a big one...
…I’m gonna impress fishing people everywhere cause you know how fishing people are all like “check out me big fish”, that’s what I’m gonna do.
MOOG: I’m building us an epic camp by the way. You may have noticed that we have no tent…no tent required because I’m building us a camp out...
Marty: You’re gonna make it? Your track record of survival…
Presenter: He can laugh all he likes but I am well versed in survival technique.
MOOG: SAS Survival Handbook. Marty: Oh mad!
MOOG: Everyone needs it. MOOG: Bush Craft…Your Guide To Pubic Origami.
MOOG: T-Bone’s Guide to Raising Sheep including breeding, care, facilities and dating. Updated edition with legal information.
Marty: Look at that!
MOOG: Rural Delivery poems and images from New Zealand.
MOOG: You can probably see what that one says. MOOG: Home Collection Vegetables full of vegetarian recipes.
MOOG: A staple for any survivalist.
MOOG: You supply the food, I’ll supply the accommodation. I think that’s a pretty fair deal.
Marty: I have a question, survival man!
MOOG: Yes Marty: Defiance in the face of adversity.
136 easy to remember techniques of being the sole survivor by Krom Thursbund.
Marty: When to take presumptive treatment?
MOOG: What does presumptive mean? Marty: Malaria is more likely if you have a fever plus any of the other symptoms present...
Have we got anything to guard us against malaria? MOOG: I can’t speak for malaria but what...
...I can say is because we are in New Zealand there’s no snakes and no spiders. It’s not like Australia.
Nothing here kills you… Marty: What?
MOOG: …except rabid sheep. Marty: No there’s a….there…there must be spiders but spiders but they don’t kill you.
MOOG: No bad ones. MOOG: They don’t even have Spider-Man, the movie, here. It was never released.
Marty: Really? MOOG: Yeah, because… Marty: They would have scared people…
MOOG: They are like no one knew what they were. Spider? What’s that?
MOOG: Oh, what’s this? Never heard of a spider aye.
MOOG: Oh wow, this is intense. This is it. My feet are off, it’s so weird. It’s just driving itself.
Marty: Great!
MOOG: This is pretty coo… Marty: I love. I love that!
MOOG: That’s pretty awesome. That’s technology actually doing something.
Marty: I’m aware that you could be an expert 4 wheel driver and use a 50 year old 4 wheel drive and be a boss at it...
...but for some people…like people like us…people who have not reviewed a 4 wheel drive before, that’s pretty cool. Isn’t it?
MOOG: Yeah, that is pretty cool. MOOG: Some technology is completely useless like who needs a Bluetooth dildo?
Waste of time, you know. Whereas this, it actually does something for you…it works.
Presenter: As we continue down the mountain, we found some mud.
We’ve conquered some mud and we’ve conquered some cows. Now, let’s talk engine.
MOOG: Any car review worth its weight…worth its salt, is that the term?
Marty: Worth its salt…
MOOG: …Worth its salt. I should talk about the power plant of a car. This is a 3.2L?
Marty: 3.2L diesel…turbocharged diesel…Commonrail injection…
MOOG: 5-Cylinder? Marty: 5-Cylinder.
MOOG: That’s freaky, isn’t it? Marty: Yeah man. You know, like those XR5 turbos...and…
...and Volvos and stuff that have 5-Cylinder engines. This is a 5-Cylinder engine!
MOOG: Okay. Marty: But, it’s a diesel. It’s like about a 150 kW, roughly.
MOOG: Far out, man!
Marty: Get in there, dude. Marty: Slow.
MOOG: I’m just worried we won’t actually get out again.
Marty: Nah, you'll be alright. Marty: We got this.
Marty: Well, wheel spin, Diff Lock dude. MOOG: Yeah, can you Diff Lock me?
Marty: Is it on?
Marty: Hey, how cool is that? MOOG: Mad, brother.
Presenter: Here’s some more review-y stuff for you. The Ranger has storage compartments...
...everywhere including a laptop sized glove box and an integrated light that’s in the cargo tray.
There’s rain sensing wipers, automatic headlights, electric power-assisted steering, a lane keeping system..
...plus adaptive cruise control available, which adjust your speed based on the traffic around you.
MOOG: Dude, there’s 2 screens in here that you can totally customize. Different guages, dials and stuff like that.
This is all touch screen but what’s really awesome is the power…no, not the engine…we got like multiple USB powers and Martin, my favorite…
Marty: There’s a built-in inverter.
MOOG: That’s right. Marty: Yeah, that’s pretty cool.
So, we’ve got back behind here, you’ve got a 240-volt plug that you can plug charges and all sorts of stuff into which is pretty handy.
And you know what? With some of this technology if you can have it, why wouldn’t you?
For example, like it’s…it tells you when your tire pressure is low, which if you are doing 4 wheel driving, you drop your tire pressures generally.
Marty: And that reminds you that it’s down so when you get back on the bitchumen it reminds you on filling up, you get out and you get your inflator…
MOOG: Well, we’ve got whole episodes on that like installing them, putting them in. It already has it which I think is pretty cool.
Marty: Just factory….so cool.
MOOG: What I like about this is that you can customize this so you can have your RPM…
...you can have all sorts of different stuff there and set it up, which is actually really cool.
Presenter/MOOG: So there’s your nerdy facts but now it’s time for food.
MOOG: Are you hungry yet? Marty: What are we eating?
MOOG: Now, unlike some of the shrooms that you might find in Nimbin or up in Byron Bay...
...most of the ones around here are fairly safe to eat. They are also particularly delicious if they are brightly colored and spotted so these ones here...
….I’ll just pick one of those….you could literally just pick those and get straight into them.
MOOG: That’s a good shroom.
Presenter: My friend hasn’t had much luck foraging for food so it’s my time to shine.
The crystal clear waters of New Zealand are famous for their fly fishing and at this time of the year, they’ll be teeming with fresh water marlin and I’m gonna catch us one for dinner and cook it over an open fire.
Marty: They left the security tag on my rod…at the shop. So I…have to…fish with it, professionally.
Marty: Big, bending the rod. If it is what I think it is, this is gonna be inside us tonight.
Marty: Awhh!
Presenter: After having no luck on the lake’s edge, I’ve decided to go one step deeper and we’re bashing our way through the bush, in search of a flowing river.
I'll be attempting an ancient and dangerous technique, rarely seen in contemporary fishing, and until now, has never been documented. A technique known as the bait and flip.
Marty: So what I’m gonna do is slightly drop the lure in. I’m gonna start to drag these tentacles…
MOOG: So we drive up the river…
Marty: We drive up the river… MOOG: …and according to you, this creates a wave.
Marty: A bow wave.
MOOG: A bow wave? Marty: Yep.
MOOG: We can go through up to 80 centimeters of water in the Ranger and the bow wave makes the marlin…
Marty: Marlin.
MOOG: …the marlin think that they’re in an ocean…
Marty: No uh… MOOG: …so that they come to us!
Marty: They do think that. So it’s an inbuilt thing…it’s a little trick…
MOOG: So they swim towards the car as we drive up the river.
Marty: Just slow… MOOG: Look…I don’t know…I don’t know...
...what to do. I’ve never done this before. Marty: Well, I have and this is the correct way...
...so the lure is now head first into the water so now slow creep along and they should start jumping at any second.
Bring the lure up and then drop it back down. That’s called the bait and flip.
MOOG: I thought that was a sex move.
Marty: Up and out and back in again. MOOG: Oh that’s a big one.
Marty: Big marlin. MOOG: No, a big rock.
MOOG: Oh, I’m a fisherman, I fish all the time. There’s a tag…the tag is still on your fishing rod.
Marty: Dude, honestly I think there is a problem with my rod.
MOOG: Marty, honestly the problem is with you. Marty: No…
MOOG: There is no problem with the rod. The problem is with you.
Marty: …. MOOG: ….
Presenter: It seems if we’re actually going to be eating anything tonight at our camp, it’s going to be up to me and check out what I’ve caught.
MOOG: This is dinner. Marty: Really?
MOOG: I went hunting. MOOG: Yeah.
MOOG: Absolutely, look at this man. Marty: You got them out of the river?
MOOG: Fresh crayfish…absolutely.
MOOG: Ah, he’s a big guy! Isn’t he?
Luckily, we got a 1 tonne, ah…pay loading units, 3.5 tonne towing capacity so crayfish in a Ford Ranger…It’s actually a perfect combination.
MOOG: Thanks for the marlin.
Marty: Bit disappointed about the marlin.
Presenter: With the sun going down, it’s time to go and setup our camp.
We’re going to be building a shelter out of rope, some plastic bags and anything that we can find in the local environment.
MOOG: Of course, safety first. Survival whistle.
Mine’s broken.
Marty: C’mon man. MOOG: Dude…
Marty: Look at the spikes. MOOG: C’mon, oh wow.
Marty: Yeah, oh…oh wow…there’s some spikes.
Presenter: Our camp is really starting to come together and we’re both super happy with the progress.
Next up, time for a fire. MOOG: Stand back. You ready?
MOOG: You got a lighter?
MOOG: So, we’ve had a couple of problems getting our fire started. Um, maybe a faulty flint
Presenter: We don’t have a fire yet but at least we have our fresh cray fish...
...or at least we used to!
Marty: I took them out of the Ute.
MOOG: Why? Marty: Cause I couldn’t stand looking at them.
Did you hear them screaming? MOOG: C’mon man.
Marty: Did you hear them screaming? You know they make…
MOOG: No, they don’t scream. They don’t have mouths.
Marty: They scream too. MOOG: They don’t have faces.
Presenter: Luckily, I brought emergency supplies.
Marty: Aww, haha. Goanna Gooch. MOOG: Yes.
Marty: Lightly salted strips. Marty: Aww, Big Bits. Leicester famous…
Dude, how did you know to get these? MOOG: That is so hard to get.
Marty: That’s the pink I like. MOOG: Internet only.
Marty: Really? MOOG: Yeah, that’s really difficult to get.
Marty: Um, I will be back in a second … MOOG: Ok.
Presenter: I thought our camp was coming together great but not everybody seems to think so.
Camera man: What have we done all day, you know? We’ve worked hard, we’ve worked hard!
Marty: Yes. Camera man: Sunrise to right now.
Marty: Dude, no one is doubting how hard you guys work. I totally get it.
Camera man: We agreed to, you know, pretend, you know, you guys are the only ones here.
We don’t have a support car, we don’t have other crew here working but we’re not doing this man.
Camera man 2: We’re not doing it. We’re not doing it.
Camera man 2: Where’s the marlin?
Presenter: With our crew refusing to sleep in our make shift camp, we’re spending the night in the car.
Marty: Your foot is in my face dude.
MOOG: Sorry man.
MOOG: You guys sleep alright?
Presenter: And there it is. New Zealand is a stunning and challenging environment so it makes sense that this is the highest selling car here.
This was our first time 4 wheel driving and while we’re much more experienced on a race track or the mountain roads of Japan, it didn’t matter what we threw at it, the Ranger kept going...
…through mud, rivers, waterfalls and with all the technology to help a couple of novices like us tackle the terrain.
But, what if you don’t live in the windswept mountains of Middle-earth?
What if you’re just normal dudes like us driving in the city who need to tow stuff, carry things and go on weekend adventures.
I guess the real question is – would we own one to tow a race car?
And the answer is – absolutely!
MOOG: Alright, so that is it, it’s almost 24 hours and we’ve gotta get our way to the barge, which is leaving any minute so we’ve picked up the pace.
Presenter: 24 hours in the Ford Ranger and we have made it. We may not have caught a duck or a fish or made a fire or a camp for our crew.
We don’t know anything about 4 wheel driving but the car didn’t let us down once and most importantly, as a couple of mates, we got to explore one of the most beautiful places on the planet – New Zealand.
And, oh yes, we will be back.
Marty: I do have one last technology question for you.
MOOG: Yes Martin. Marty: What happens if you put that in 2H?
MOOG: That makes it rear wheel drive. Marty: And then press the button that looks like skids.
MOOG: And then you press the button that looks like a car doing skids.
I don’t know what that does.
MOOG: Should we see?
Marty: Yeah.