I lived right here in North Carolina about 45 minutes up the road in a little
town called Burlington North Carolina my brother lives in Charlotte North
Carolina he's single he lives in a downtown Los makes a lot of money
selling stuff and he laughs at me because I live to leave it to beaver
kind of life with my wife three kids and a dog he tells me says Patrick couldn't
make it in Burlington least not while I'm single I said why not he said I'll
give you two reasons no PF changs and at the time he told me that no Starbucks
but yes we finally now have a starbucks I know that sounds odd that a town would
not have a starbucks but until a few years ago we didn't have one I was
reading the newspaper one Saturday morning and there is the headline as
bright at starbucks comes to alamance county called my brother i said hey
Bubba guess what yeah we get into Starbucks what's that well what do you
mean I'm not ready for starbucks i know i buy my coffee from a gas station i'll
talk to you later i hung up he told me he said there's no way you're ready for
starbucks i've made it for 10 years in nashville without paying four dollars
for a cup of coffee but i was ready to evolve so imagine my excitement when I'm
driving down Church Street Burlington North Carolina and I look over there the
old suntrust bank building used to be and there it was grand opening starbucks
i pulled my minivan into the parking lot to laugh at me I pulled my minivan into
the parking lot I took those stairs two at a time I rip that door open and I
found myself standing in a line that extended all the way to the door I
stepped in line now I'm standing there my blue jeans and ball cap I'm
surrounded by professionals intellectuals university students and I
started to feel a little bit out of place but I knew that that uncomfortable
feeling would disappear with that first cup of starbucks coffee I got up to the
counter and there is the young lady behind the counter she was hard to miss
she had earrings she had a nose ring she has fucked a thumb she looked up at me
and she said welcome to thaw button to take a look please I said say what
that's how you're gonna play oh my order yeah I'll have a cup of starbucks coffee
what had regular what kind and she pointed to a menu board above her head
now that menu board was filled with a bunch of Italian words words like
cappuccino Frappuccino macchiato late
Lotte I get it now thank you now I've seen these words before but I really
didn't know exactly what they were how they pertain to my coffee I began to
feel uncomfortable now you students in the room you've never experienced this
but your parents have the first time and I and I said well just give me a give me
a kappa a frappe can I just get a plane cup of coffee now at that moment she
could have with very minimal effort turn me from a customer into a fan if she had
simply recognized this guy has no idea what he's doing if she had simply said
let me be your guide she would have created a lifelong customer but instead
she chose to roll her eyes make me feel silly I said can I just get a plane cup
of coffee she turned around to a lonely and on the counter but I caught the
loser earn she poured a cup handed it to me charge me two dollars and ninety
seven cents it tasted no better than the coffee I by the Exxon I went back to my
office i'm sipping on that coffee and I've decided I'm not going to let her
beat me next morning 8am I show up at starbucks i started reading out that
menu board in advance in preparation i got up to the counter welcome to thaw
but can I take you away please I said oh yeah I want to cap pacino
she said tall grande or venti skinny regular phone on the phone I said say
what I mean I know what tall is I can figure out grande we have taco bell
there in Burlington but venti that's the one that had me confused i thought tall
was taught not at starbucks and starbucks tall is short I know what reg
I know what got a couple definitions for regular let's talk about phone for a
second I'm a professional speaker I've been to Myrtle Beach I've walked along
that beach and I've seen foam never thought about eating it I said just give
me a plain cup of coffee I went back to my office now I'm barely even tasting
that coffee that's going down and I'm thinking I am NOT going to let her beat
me but I've always thought the definition of insanity is a man who
tries the same thing over and over again expecting what different results won't
going to be that guy swelling back to starbucks the next day I sat down and I
listened I listening to the experienced coffee drinkers ordered the
intellectuals the professionals the soccer moms I made mental notes of the
vocabulary and syntax the meter in juxtaposition of phrasing pretty good
huh i created this order in my head that I felt bordered on poetry but I quickly
discovered I've been listening to the wrong people I've been listening to
people on diets health enthusiasts joggers because when I got up to the
counter she said welcome to thought book now take your plea I said oh yo give me
a double skinny double decaf latte no fat no whip no phone she said you want
soy
no soy she says there anything else I said young lady I'm just getting started
I want you to put that to talk up with a short straw make it extra hot give me
one of those cute little cardboard cup holders so I don't burn my fingers she
said is that all I said just about in addition I'm a double skinny double
decaf latte no fat no weapon if I'm no soy talk up short straw extra hot with
cute little car broke up order i wanna i needa I just gotta have a biscotti she
gave me a cup of hot skim milk and a cookie tasted just like a doggy biscuit
my brother was right ain't ready for starbucks but imagine my excitement when
I saw that Burlington North Carolina was getting a hooters I'm not even sure they
serve coffee at Hooters do this ER oh I'm sure you don't know the young light
there are certain truths in business many of you know what they are I want to
share a couple of them with you right now and it's about the opportunity that
young lady missed with me one truth is that if there's a choice people want to
do business with friends people want to buy from people whom they like people
want to buy from people whom they trust can you have liking without trust yes
they're called drinking buddies