Clay Andrews: Hey there. It's Clay with
modernlove.life and today we're talking about five signs that your ex thinks about you a lot. This is
something that a lot of people are interested in and we did want to make this topic because I
know that there are people that really just want to know, like, "Hey, what are some things I can
look for to show that my ex is interested in me?" Of course, though, what you want to be focusing in
on first and foremost primarily is the emotional connection between the two of you.
However, with that being said, here are some signs that your ex is thinking about you a lot.
Number one is that they mention certain things that might indicate that you occupy a lot of
mental real estate in their mind. That is to say, they make little passing comments that like,
"Oh yeah, I was thinking about you the other day," or "I saw this thing and it
kind of reminded me of you," or "I was digging through the closet and this little thing popped
up and it reminded me of you," or "We were talking with our mutual friend, I don't know,
John or Jane or whatever and we started talking about you," or something along those lines.
Again, this just shows that they're thinking about you probably they're thinking about you more than
they are letting on, but many people do try to play it cool. They do try to make it seem like,
"Oh yeah, I just happened to see a formation in the clouds, in the sky and it looked just like
your face. Gee, why did it look like your face?" Well, it's because they were probably thinking
of you. Or, why did this thing remind you of them? Well, it's because they're probably thinking about
you. Just keep that in mind. If it seems like you occupy a high degree of mental real estate,
they are probably thinking about you a lot. If they just kind of casually mention it,
it's probably just the tip of the iceberg and there's probably a whole lot more
thoughts about you going on in their mind. The second sign that your ex might be thinking
about you a lot is if they seem to get jealous. Now, I don't recommend that you go out of your way
to intentionally trigger jealousy in your ex. I know there are some mind game, reverse psychology
coaches out there that might recommend that you do that. I do not recommend that you do that
because I don't think that it's a good strategy to follow. I think that someone should want to be
in a relationship with you because they actually want to be in a relationship with you not because
they're worried that someone's going to scoop you up or something like that, but because they
genuinely want to be in relationship with you. That's how you build a strong relationship,
pro tip, side note, tangent, all that, but, if they do seem jealous, it is an indication that
they do think about you a lot. They want to be close to you. They want to
have that emotional bond with you and if it seems like there's some sort of competition for it,
or if it seems like that might somehow slip out of their fingers, it's kind of indicative to the
fact that you do hold an important role in their world emotionally and it's indicative to the fact
that they probably think about you a lot, okay? The third thing that shows that your ex thinks
about you a lot is if they contact you when you know that they're doing
something else, if they reach out to you or somehow do something related to you when you
know that they are or should be doing something else, like if they're texting with you at work,
they're probably thinking about you a lot. They probably have to think about you a little bit
to kind of get to that point where they're going to text you at work. If they're texting you when
they should be, I don't know if they're in a rebound relationship with someone else and
they're texting you when they're theoretically spending time with that person, then yeah,
they're probably thinking about you a lot. We had a client once whose ex was on vacation with their
rebound relationship and they were texting him throughout this vacation. I was like, "Oh, why
are you doing that?" You're in this relationship with someone else. If you really cared about this
person, if you were really great and tight with that other person, you'd just be on this great,
romantic vacation with them. You would not be sitting here texting my client. It just shows that
my client was, once again, taking up a lot of mental real estate in his ex's mind. So that is
definitely something to look out for. Number four is if they posture or feel
like they need to put on an act. So collapsing is something that people do. We've talked about this
in a recent video, I think on Monday's video, but posturing is really something else as well, too.
Typically people don't overtly collapse too often, especially if they're interacting with their ex.
They might be considerate. They might come across as being thoughtful, but typically
collapsing is something that happens sort of internally, whereas posturing, it is something
that happens internally, but it has more of an external presence I guess you could say, a sort of
external way that it shows up. And by posturing, what I mean by is essentially they're putting on
some sort of act, they're putting on some sort of mask or some sort of performance around you.
This performance could look, anything could be like, "Okay, I'm trying to come across like I'm
the alpha male. I'm trying to come across like I'm this ultra desirable person around you. I'm trying
to come across like I'm a bad-ass. I'm trying to come across like I'm always happy. I'm trying to
come across like I have my life completely put together," or something like that especially
if you objectively know that this isn't true. If you objectively know that they're having some sort
of challenges or struggles in their life, but if you sense that they're just putting on this act,
that they have it all together or that they're always happy or something like that, you can take
it as a sign that they probably think about you a lot. The reason why they're doing this is because
they are trying to impress you. They're trying to leave a certain impact with you,
even if it seems like they're not objectively trying to get back together with you.
For some reason in our society, we have this belief that once you break up with someone,
you are now in direct competition with that person and you have to somehow one up them and make it
seem like your life is a thousand times better than their life or something like that. And so
obviously I want you to live a great life, and obviously I want you to have an amazing life,
but if you're funneling so much energy into trying to make it seem this way to your ex, then it just
shows that you're thinking a lot about them. Whether you're trying to make it seem like your
life is amazing and perfect, whether you're trying to make it seem like you're this impressive person
to kind of win them over, whether you're trying to make it seem like you have it altogether so
that you seem more desirable to them or something like that, it's just demonstrative of the fact
that you are thinking about them a lot. And likewise, if they are doing these sorts
of things, it also would not be a huge jump to say that they're probably thinking about
you a lot as well too. By the way, if you do want to learn how to, before you get into number five,
if you do want to learn how to kind of connect with your ex on a deeper emotional level
because a lot of these things are symptomatic of a deeper, emotional level thing happening,
but if you do want to learn how to connect with your ex on a deeper emotional level, we of course
do have our course called the Ex Solution Program. You can find that over at modernlove.life/ESP,
it's modernlove.life, not.com, but.life and then /ESP for Ex Solution Program. Go ahead
and check it out. If it's right for you, feel free to sign up. If it's not right for you,
no worries, but if you're curious, there it is. And the fifth sign is if your ex holds back from
contacting you. This one's a little bit weird. This one's strange. This one is
unusual, but the reason why it could show that they're thinking about you a lot is
because they're intentionally holding themselves back from contacting you.
If, for example, the two of you were talking very regularly and then out of the blue,
they just stopped contacting you. It implies that, okay, they're probably doing something,
the no contact rule, I don't know. Maybe they read something on the internet about, "You need to
do the no contact rule" or whatever, and they're intentionally withholding the urge to contact you.
This is especially true if it's just seemingly coming out of nowhere, obviously it's also true
if maybe the two of you had some sort of big fight or disagreement or something like that,
they're probably either intentionally trying to hold back because they're, they're thinking
about you a lot. They're trying to process how to deal with things or they're trying
to maybe punish you in some way or whatever, but they're probably feeling something that's
inspiring them to want to avoid contacting you. Now this is obviously way different than if the
two of you just kind of drift apart and then you stopped contacting one another and all that stuff.
That's, obviously way different, but if it's just an abrupt stoppage of the contact, then it just
shows that they're emotionally holding themselves back, which means they're probably thinking about
you a lot thinking, "Oh, should I call them? Should I text them? Maybe not. Maybe I'll
hold myself back. Maybe we'll wait until tomorrow. Maybe we'll wait and see if they contact me first"
or whatever. There could be all sorts of reasons why they might be doing this, but it really is
indicative of the fact that they're thinking about you a lot. Anyway, hope you found this video
helpful. Once again, hit that thumbs up button, or if you're new here, hit the thumbs up button
and then subscribe to the channel. But anyway, please take care. I'll talk to you next time.