Hey guys!
D: hi
P: So, this is the last video I will ever film in this room!
D: I thought that was just gonna be EVER.
P: EVER.
D: I'm ascending to another dimension.
P: *dramatic music*
D: none of us would be surprised if you were an alien, Phil.
P: Hey!
D: They've read the title, they know what you're about to say.
P: You know what I'm about to say
Both: We're moving out!
P: Yay! D: That sounded very happy. They're probably like, "Why?"
P: We ARE happy!
D: This London apartment...
D: How long have we lived here?
P: I think we've lived here for five years.
D: That's disgusting.
P: That's half a D: Five- P: decade of someone's life.
D: Don't say the word decade.
P: I'm sorry.
D: That's just--
P: It's such a long passage of time!
D: Just in this apartment?! P: We're slowly dying!
P: I mean look what we looked like when we moved in.
P: *laughs* Look at my hair! We look so different.
D: We do.
P: You look half fetus-y.
D: I look full of life. P: What's happened to us?
P: We're dead behind the eyes now.
D: I mean, did I ever have a soul?
P: Um, no.
D: It's been our home,
D: we filmed all our videos here--
P: Why did my brain just go to toilet? It's been our home,
It's been-- Both: Our toilet...
D: Yes.
P: It's been our home, it's been our work, it's been our life,
we've hardly gone outside, so we've spent a lot of hours in this building.
D: It's been our hamster cage for the last five years, but now it is time to leave. P: Yes!
D: Why, Phil?
P: To go to a slightly bigger hamster cage!
D: You could say that we've outgrown this place,
P: Yeah. We've- D: slash-- there's several reasons why we're desperate to leave as soon as possible.
P: First of all there's too much stuff that we own!
D: We have so much stuff...
P: To fit into this place with ONE storage cupboard.
D: This apartment has NO storage and we have SO MUCH
~miscellaneous sh*t~
P: For example, what's on my floor right now?
P: The giant Dil head from TATINOF!
P: It's so scary, you just wake up in the night and it's like *dun duh dun duh duh dun*
D: And also... hmmm...
D: Some-- some crates.
P: What even are those crates? They've got flower crowns inside. What's happening?
D: Really, we could just move into a giant storage facility, (P: We could!) and that would fulfill all our needs.
P: I've always found those so mysterious, like what is in every different cupboard? I wish I could see.
D: I'm up for minimalism, you know.
P: Minimalism?
D: I could just throw away all of my posessions.
P: No, you need some knickknacks!
D: Let's just set fire to the apartment, that's the way to do it.
P: That'd be a lot easier than moving out...
D: DAN IS ON FIRE
D: I'm freeee! P: AHHHHHHH
P: Reason two, is we are being penetrated by noise from three angles! It's like we're under attack
*crickets*
D: Really?
P: What?
P: We are, it's like, it's got penetrating my brain.
D: Phil, you just says that we're being penetrated from three angles.
P: By noise!
*vigorous drilling*
P: Listen to that!
*more vigorous drilling*
P: Tell me that's not drilling into your brain right now.
D: It is.
*drilling sound*
P: So, behind me we've got Mr. Drillerson, who has been drilling for two years!
P: drilllll *more drilling*
D: Two years!
P: It just never ends!
D: and aLL DAY... evERY DAY
*drilling sound* Both: eHHhHHhhhh
Sometimes, I'll be having a wonderful dream, frolicking with a celebrity, and then some guy in a high vis jacket comes and goes --
Both: aHhhhHH D: *laughs*
P: Ruining all of my fantasies.
D: On the front of the house, there's a really busy road. *cars*
D: Guess the crime. When am I filming a video without like:
D: *car sounds*
D: Or a bus just going: *bus sounds* P: It's so loud.
P: I swear the ambulances look up and go, "Oh, it's Dan and Phil's flat, switch on the button!"
D: "I think danisnotonfire is about to film a video."
*ambulance sounds*
D: In London, that does happen at 3 a.m.
P: Yeah.
D: Nothing makes you panic more than a police siren going off at three o'clock,
D: outside your house.
P: I just think it's babies being born, a lot. High birth rates.
P: And the next thing, is we have the thinnest walls of all time!
P: They must be made out of rice paper. Do you know that paper you can eat?
D: Our walls are edible!
P: They are.
D: They are so thin, people.
D: From downstairs, we have the strange noises. *groan* P: Yeah.
D: From the left, we have a phone that goes off all the time. *ringing*
P: Yeah, and the--
D: They never answer it!
P: No! There's a movie of someone trying to ring their long-lost lover, and
P: THEY'RE NOT THERE. STOP RINGING!
D: And then we think that through the wall from our gaming channel is our neighbour's bedroom,
P: Yeah. D: But we haven't heard anything from them...
D: Well, that might be because we film the gaming videos there, and we're screaming all the time at 4 a.m. P: Yeah.
D: ...to them, WE are the noise...
P: WE are the noise...
P: Everyone's going to be having a party when we leave...
D: The drill people will be like,
D: "Woop woop!"
D: "We can stop now!"
D: "We've driven Dan and Phil out of the neighbourhood!"
P: Sometimes our neighbour will just ride past on a bus while drilling into the air
P: for the ultimate trifecta of noise!
D: It's too much, okay? It's too much!
D: We're going insane.
P: The final reason, is the house is LITERALLY FALLING APART.
D: It's-- any day now...
D: It's just gonna implode fully-- There's cracks in
D: Basically every room.
D: We'll show you some clips right now.
P: This one in the corner of my room waiting to get me!
D: *laughs* W-- Up the wall, into the ceiling!
D: I'm a big fan of this one in my bedroom look at--
D: Oh, yep, yep, yep, yep
D: Yep, yep, yep-- BOOM
D: I mean, if that's not a chandelier ready to fall on Dan's head while he's filming a video, I don't know what is.
P: That one's a big one, Dan.
Ooo nice wow that looks like the whole-
The ceiling has a dip. Ph...Phil, look - the ceiling, there- P: what? I've never noticed that
we're gonna die
Also, we have the infamous gas leak incident that could return at any time. D: that was really fun. Also the internet is terrible.
I don't know if we've complained about that-- P: ♫ the internet is terrible ♫ THE INTERNET DOESN'T WORK
FACT: this building used to be a bank, so I think they've still got the metal vault walls in between our rooms.
The thing is, London is a very old city. It has lots of culture--but when a building was made in 1810,
It's probably not meant for modern life - (I don't think it is!) - which is what we've realized. So those are the main reasons
why we think we have to get out of-- P: ALSO the mice! We never spoke about the mice!
We had a whole family of mice living here for a while. D: That's happened a few times--again, old building, London--
There's just holes-- lickin' the floorboards, tasting like wood
thankfully we're not afraid of mice. P: No, I kind of hope we get mice in the new place. (D: They're kind of cute)
In a "I'm gonna give you a disease but I wanna stroke you" kind of way
Why don't we go on a little tour of the house and reminisce on some things? D: Ok sure, let's go on one final walk through the London apartment.
Phil, talk to us about the bedroom. P: Well, one thing I'm not going to miss is this wicker bed!
I hate it so much!
D: That was like one of the only things the previous guy left here and Phil was like "ok this is my life now"
P: Why would anyone buy this?!
P: And it's so awful as well. Like, look at the slats. Look at that.That is what I'm sleeping on. D: How did you even do that?!
I don't know - it just falls apart! D: what about this, Phil?
My trusty chest! This is my props box. This has everything that's ever been in one of my videos.
Look at this! The anime video-- D: This is just making me panic.
D: Ah yes, a giant snake.
P: I should wear these Pikachu ears more. I will miss the high ceilings though
It's always been a competition between me and Dan, if we can jump and touch it. D: Go ahead, Phil.
P: Ready?
D: Yep P: WOOO
Nearly. Wait, wait, wait...
P: Yes D: Nice. P: Power jump. sorry people that like tidiness... what about you, Dan?
D: I mean, I like that there was this old haunted piano in my bedroom
It was always out of tune - It never worked
but it just looked really cool and made me seem like an intelligent person who owned a piano
so I felt like I need to get another one. P: please tell me you're not taking the butt chair.
Phil, of course I am. This video background is coming with me.
I cannot get rid of this black desk. I feel like it's an opportunity to add some more stuff
what do you think my video background needs?
P: I think it needs more houseplants.
A plant? Ok, that's Phil's request. *scoff*
And it's finally time to see what is in Dan's secret under bed drawer!
no- no, I haven't... packed that yet...
Now it's like - whatever they're imagining is worse than-
-just stop filming. P: Will you miss this hallway, Dan?
D: I mean, where else will I lie to contemplate death? it's just such a perfect, long, bleak corridor to lie face-down on.
P: i don't know!
oh look! it's my favourite glass nemesis!
D: oh! the best addition to any home
we've only walked into that
thousands of times... P: it's given me many new brain cells.
D: ah look, we're filming some baking videos-
shut up!
the sofa crease P: we're keeping the sofa crease!
D: i mean, it's destroying my spine but it's just too iconic to leave. P: it's so important!
something I'm definitely NOT gonna miss is this coffee table. D: oh my god...
P: these corners have carved so many holes in my shin.
D: f*ck this- you can actually see dents where we've walked into the edge, like that- that edge there has literally been rounded by Phil's shin.
oh look, a bit of green paint that's splattered on the floor.
P: i don't know why that would be there
Dan is in the chair he's fallen off 17 times.
D: don't worry, we're keeping the chair that will cause my death. this room is a
terrible room for a gaming channel to be in. appreciate the slanted wall-
D: Yes, that's why our videos look so ugly
I am not convinced that the neighbours can't see through that. P: they have definitely seen a lot of butts.
sorry.
this house has SO MANY STAIRS D: oh my god
P: I will not miss this. D: it never finishes.
P: seriously, if we order a takeaway (take-out) this is how many stairs you have to walk down to get to the front door
47 steps!
*grunt*
i'm just gonna die now D: to be fair, it is the only exercise we get-
-so it'll be interesting to see how we live without them.
so we are staying in London and keeping most of our stuff, we're just going to a place with more space!
D: and less drills.
P: Hopefully.
It's funny because everyone we've spoken to, and we imagine, you guys, are like: "What? No! We love the apartment!"
"Oh, it's so cute- oh you must be so sad!"
We're like: "what? no. get us the hell out of here as soon as possible."
We couldn't be less emotional about leaving this place. P: especially before summer: we've got no air conditioning,
so it's just like, a sweaty sauna.
D: are you sad at all? P: I mean, I always have a bit of nostalgia for things but because I'm taking all my stuff,
I'm not really that sad. D: it's like all the stuff you like in a safer building.
It has been a good hamster cage to us over the years, though. (D: It has worked quite well.)
Remember when we moved in? We had no furniture for like 3 months. we were just sitting on boxes.
P: how are we gonna do this?
So don't be sad- videos are still gonna continue as normal, if you bear with us to set up the new locations...
Oh, yeah, there might be a couple ugly intermediate weeks...
It's gonna be really weird, because this new place is going to look exactly the same, just in a different building.
like an alternate dimension
where dan and phil have more storage...
-now for the final time from this ugly wicker bed (D: such an ugly bed)
P: give this a 👍THUMBS UP👍 in memory of the London apartment
*Dan singing in the background* P: check out dan's by clicking his bubble, you can click on my bubble to subscribe to my channel, and i will see you in the new place!
goodbye!