Ahhhh Scooby-Doo.
A delightful gang of teens, with the help of their trusty great dane, cruising around
in their ole’ mystery machine, getting into all sorts of scrambles.
What’s not to love about this fun group, dating all the way back 1969 I mean, they’ve
done it all.
Real threats, supernatural threats, hooped it up with the Harlem Globetrotters, hell,
even a couple of mildly horny live-action movies.
So with such a proven IP, that has stood the test of time, any writer anywhere could seemingly
craft something unique
Ohhh dear lord, Uhhhhh ummm yeah I…
I take that back because Velma is a thing.
A thing that….
Honestly an insufferable, nasty dumpster fire is being nice.
But uhhh yeah, I’m your host Jared, a huge thank you for clicking this, because haha,
we’re talking about uhh yeah, Why Velma is a big ole’ steamy turd.
So yeah Velma, a Scooby-Doo spin-off origin story, that is supposed to follow the origins
of the gang before they got into the ole’ mystery business game.
A respectable way to take the series, even solely showcasing the, ehh probably most overlooked
member of the group, Velma, and focusing on her point of view and the jinkies she finds
herself in.
But uhh about 7.3% of what I just mentioned actually makes it into the show.
Velma, Daphne, Fred, Shaggy, Uhh you’re not shaggy, and basically their outfits from
the original series are the only things that make it into this adult animated adaptation.
Everything else is entirely stripped away, and maybe the furthest from what a Scooby-Doo
fan would want.
Which is hilarious because this series should be appealing to Scooby-Doo lovers.
“Like zoinks scoob, let’s watch!”
but instead alienates them because this ain't Scoob.
And if Velma can’t get the Scooby-Doo fans on its side, then well, adults who love animated
shows are going to love this, right?
Ahhh what the fuck?!
Okay, so who the heck is Velma for if they’re throwing
their whole prospective audience under the bus?
Because I’ve seen 8 episodes, which I begrudgingly watched, and I still haven't a damn clue.
Reeling things back, okay Velma.
The show is called Velma, she is the main character, boom we got that.
But instead of the inquisitive, smart, clever mystery solver take on the character from
the source material, Mindy Kaling and the writers chose to take her the route of like
a 2023 version of Daria, but ramped up the know it all, mean, snarky (in a bad way),
“I’m better than you” bitchiness of the character, that honestly resembles nothing
like the character.
And in the case of a mean, unlikable character troupe, usually you hate them at first, they
go through a transformation, and now you adore them and relate after seeing their journey.
Perfect!...Yeah, none of that shit is here.
Velma is just a mean spirited, self absorbed character, who I just cannot like.
Even 8 episodes in, she’s just as mean.
Also what the heck is this SHE CAN JUST SEE WITHOUT HER GLASSES?!
Ugggghhhh What the absolu
**Sigh** Okay…
Now this liberal, and I mean very loose, interpretation of the character spreads out to everyone and
everything else.
With Daphne being the Regina George mean girl of the highschool, having 2 moms, swinging
both ways.
While Fred embodies a momma’s boy, the white male alpha misogynistic, “couldn’t possibly
do anything wrong”, superiority complex because he’s had life so easy since birth,
and only sees women as objects.
Shaggy, or I guess Norville, is the only character that is borderline the same as his source
material.
Now I don’t care if there are gender, race, cultural, sexual differences being applied
to the characters, go for it.
Because I’m pretty sure the whole gang was finger popping in that Mystery Machine, so
when the van’s a rockin, don’t come a knockin’.
BUT the entirety of Velma feels like it is a ghost of what Scooby-Doo actually is.
Like this is a crass, teen drama, relationship based finding yourself highschool show, with
a pinch of mystery solving.
It’s almost like the creators had a script for this type of show already mapped out,
but desperately needed to attach it to a well-established IP, otherwise the execs wouldn’t greenlight
it.
And sure enough the Scooby-Doo name was thrown out and boom, bam, done, greenlight that shit.
Honestly I’m convinced an algorithm spit out this series, and this is how that whole
pitch went down:
Because they definitely scoured the internet for some of the worst references to just simply
reference in the show.
Ohhh yeah a huge basis of the comedy and jokes in Velma is simply referencing something and
then applying this reference to the situation the characters are in.
This is obviously 99% of what makes Family Guy, Family Guy.
But here in Velma it is so poorly done, but more specifically done in a way to tear down
other’s or stereotypical troupes in shows, but then continue to follow the same worn
out trend.
But since they made note that it’s “cliched’”, it makes them doing it cheeky, sarcastic,
smart, and fun.
“Ohh candy I am having fun” A prime example of this, is how the opening talks about how
pilot episodes of shows usually front load with racy nudity to draw in viewers, and how
that's sooooo hacky, they wouldn’t do that.
BUT THEN CONTINUES TO DO THAT AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN!!
It’s also hilariously ignorant in the fact that the writer’s for Velma want to tackle
and break down prejudices, stereotypes, sexism, etc. and lean into a progressive attitude.”Ignorant.
That’s ignorant” But it's horribly done, because they end up doing exactly what they
are trying to make an argument against, by then ripping down say the stereotypical white
male, how they shouldn’t have feelings, and how this or that about women.
It’s so counter productive, that it comes off literally like “Ehhh not to be an asshole,
buuuuutttt… then followed by something asshole-esque.
Is that a word?
It’s nothing but ironic hypocrisy, in the most unironic way.
It’s like the writer’s, Mindy Kaling, whoever were bullied back in middle school,
highschool, picked last in dodgeball, and had all of this pent up anger that came out
in the writing.
It really feels like a personal attack to certain groups, like the popular or rich kids
that everyone went to highschool with.
So this constant barrage of pseudo venting, is apparently looked at as comedy, I guess?
Some of the “jokes” are really not even jokes, like Fred has a small penis…
it’s just that.
It’s stated, no punchline or anything.
Just tiny pee pee.
They set everything up for a smart commentary take, walking a tightrope, but take the low
brow path for an outdated 2007’s late night monologue joke, rather than saying anything
noteworthy.
And yes the question on everyone’s mind”Scooby doobie doo, where are you?”
The iconic mascot of Mystery Incorporated, iiiiissssss nowhere to be seen.
The writer’s Ole’ Yellar’d the fun loving great dane, for uhhh no reason.
Scoob is just gone.
BUT someone thought they were a damn genius, because even though the ole’ pup isn’t
present, they do make a reference to him in one of the most bizarre and bland ways possible,
via a secret project Velma’s mom was researching called SCOOBI, with an “I”.
Standing for “Special COvert Operations Brain Initiative”, and I shit you not, this
is how they give a wink wink nod to the doggo.”Scoobi.
What does Scoobi do?”
WAT!
I mean come oooooonnnnn…
Cheap and cringy.
It’s almost as bad as movies or shows turning to the screen and saying the movie title.
Now I will say there are a couple delicious treats in this otherwise steaming pile of
Scooby doggie Doo, and that's the animation and visual gags.
Some of the action sequences, specifically Velma’s hallucinations, add this vibrant,
bright chaoticness to this otherwise dull highschool drama.
And the visual gags being the best pun jokes of the entire series.
Scattered throughout, starting with the different clubs at the school with the different debate
clubs, which I thought was decent.
But one of the best examples is when they go to the Mount Crystal Woods to investigate
or whatever, and the mountain is in the shape of Billy Crystal’s face.
Mount Crystal, Billy Crystal.
Peak visual pun gag, so for those, I’ll give it a Scooby Snack or two.
NOTE: (show the wife and dad dressed as the jetson’s in episode 5)
But aside from that, there’s numerous reasons this currently is the worst rated animated
TV show ever, the lowest of the low, the garbage inside the garbage, the cockroaches…
Wow, yes, the cockroaches from that garbage fucking.
This actually happens.
Anyway I’d be VERY curious what your thoughts of Velam are.
Was this the flaming pile of Scooby-Doo that everyone is unanimously agreeing on, or is
there something special in here that made you fall in love with Velma?
And I’ll let you know
We’re currently running a competition giving away 3 copies of Wakanda Forever on the 15th
of February.
And all you have to do, to be in for a chance of winning, is like the video, make sure you
subscribe with notifications on, and drop a comment below with your thoughts on M3gan.
We pick the comments at random at the end of the month, and the winners of the last
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So if that’s you, message me on twitter at heavy spoilers
If you want something else to watch, be sure to check out some of our other videos, right
over there.
Do it, click one.
But with that out of the way, thanks for the constant support, I’ve been Jared, I’ll
see you in the next one, take care, and peace.