-Welcome to The Daily Show. -Thank you.
By the way, I do anything Steve Ballmer says.
-Oh. -No, I do.
I'm a Clippers season ticket holder, and, uh,
he's, uh, become-- he's just, he's a legend. That's it.
So you-- Wait. Wait. So you-you go to the Clippers games?
I go to the Clippers games and I love the team.
Has it-Has it-- How long have you been a fan?
-Two years. -So... -(laughter)
-No, hold on. -No, that counts. That counts.
I live in Los Angeles.
Everything I love is from-- I'm a Cubs fan, Bears fan.
The Bulls have become quite the embarrassment.
And the Clippers were this team of these grinders,
of these guys, and I fell in love with them.
And then they signed two superstars
after I bought season tickets.
Yeah. Yeah.
So it's really fun.
I mean, look, I'm a longtime Cubs fan.
-I know-I know about sticking with a team. -Yes.
-Oh, my God. -Yeah, no one can say
-you're flimsy in your support of a team. -No. No, I'm not.
What's the camera? What is this?
It's, uh... Uh, I take pictures.
As a matter of fact, I, uh...
Hold on. Hold on.
Oh, yeah, now, oh, that's a beautiful shot.
-But... Yeah, but, but I... -All right.
Here's the thing, though, I have a show going up
at the Leica Gallery in L.A. in January.
And one of these pictures might be in it.
Wait. So... So, uh, what, like
like a-like a professional photographer or...?
Yeah. Yeah.
I have... I have shots of John.
-Right. -I always brought my camera.
-I have, actually... -So this is just, like...
Letterman-- every talk show I go on, I bring it with me.
Even Hoda and Kathie Lee. (laughs)
-I have, like, all these shots... -But we have,
we have, we have cameras, like, we can...
Yeah, but it gets me.
I don't want to see me, I want to see you.
And by the way, who else gets this perspective?
(cheers and applause)
And by the way, and by the way,
you are incredibly photogenic and handsome.
Thank you. Thank you, Jeff.
-(cheering and applause) -I mean...
-That's right. Yeah! -This is... Wow.
-Yeah! -Let me... let me ask you this.
-This is funny. -You can ask me anything you want.
That-That's exactly what I was gonna ask about,
-is anything. Um... -I... Okay. Yeah.
No, Jeff's one of the only people
who's come to the show where, like...
At most shows, what you do is
you'll, like, talk to the person before they come on
and just be like, "What are we gonna chat..."
Jeff was like, "I don't want to talk to you before.
I don't want to know what you're gonna talk..."
-Yeah, no. -Is this... Is this who you've been?
Or is it because on Curb Your Enthusiasm,
-everything is improvised? -No, it's who I am.
I, actually, over the years...
I've been doing talk shows for a lot of years.
Um, the only one that I didn't do a preinterview
-was when Jon was here. -Right.
And so I love that we didn't do a preinterview,
and when you said, "We're gonna do this,"
I go, "I don't want to know." I don't want to know.
I like being in the moment and, like, reacting when...
-I don't want to think about it ahead of time. -What if... Oh.
-So you-you don't care about what happens. -I don't care.
-All right. Well, I'm glad. No, no, no. -I'm-I'm...
-Hold on. -I'm glad. I'm glad. No, no, no. I'm glad.
-I'm glad you say it... -I'm full of joy,
-and I'm honored and thrilled to be here. -I'm glad you say that.
-Let's use that. Okay. -I-I am so glad you say that,
because we have someone who claims to have your son.
If you can come up...
(laughter)
Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
-Let me... let me ask you this. -Yeah.
Like, when you're making a show like Curb Your Enthusiasm--
and I know there's another season coming up.
-No spoilers or anything, but when you... -Yes. January.
When you're making a show like that
where it's all improvised, are you ever worried
before a scene that it's not gonna be magic?
'Cause we all love that show. Every scene is magic.
-Are you ever worried? -Oh, my God. No.
I... Never.
Uh, you know, my stand-up is improvised.
I go up and do an hour that's completely improvised.
-Wait, your stand-up is improvised? -That...
Every time I go up except for the...
Well, here. Okay.
So, first off... (laughs)
First off, never.
It's what I do. It's what we do.
Larry David and I laugh all day long
-both on and off camera. -Right.
And it is so...
And Larry David wrote the scenario,
so I trust that it's gonna work.
And it does, and it's fun.
Sometimes he'll call me on the way home and go,
"Here's what we could have done."
And then we might do that later. We've reshot things.
-Okay, okay, okay, okay, right. -But in general...
in general, it works. It just works.
So, tell me about the special, then,
-because you got a Netflix special. -Yes.
And then, like, everyone knows that that's what you've done
for, like, 20 odd years in stand-up
-is just, like, improvise... -No, 37 years.
-37 years you've been improvising? -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-(cheering and applause) -Thank you. So...
So, I started when I was 20.
I'm 57. I don't want people doing math.
Uh, but here's the thing.
Netflix says, "Okay, we want you to do a special."
-Right. -I've kind of had that in my pocket
for, like, three years.
So I worked hard developing a show
that was special.
'Cause when I was a kid, comedy specials were special.
-Yes. -Now I'll have an opening act.
Six months later, I'll go, "Hey, how you doing?"
(laughing): "Oh, I just filmed my special."
And I'll think to myself, "Oh, that's not gonna be good."
-Um, uh... -(laughs)
But you know, they're funny, but it's not ready.
-Right. -So I worked hard
to have a special that's not
a "what's so special about my special?"
-I filmed-- -Wait, wait, wait!
Go back, say that again. "I worked to have a special..."
I worked hard to have a special that wouldn't be a "what's so
-special about my special?" -Okay, okay, okay, got it.
-Got it, got it, got it. -Which when you watch specials--
Yes, yes, sometimes you ask that.
You go, like, "Why is this special?"
-Okay, I'm with you. -Why-why-why...
I mean, I get depressed
when I watch most comedy specials.
-Wow. -I do! You're funny...
You need, you need to talk to someone, Jeff.
You ever watch... There's a lot...
No, I-I don't need to!
I-I-I... I think.
But if you're getting depressed when watching a stand-up,
-you need to talk to somebody. -Yeah.
I have therapy, but that doesn't come up.
I've got other things I'm sad about.
Anyhow, I filmed the first--
I did two shows in one night.
First show, I did the beginning, the middle
-and the end that I worked on. -Yes, uh-huh.
So, second show I went up and let it
rip. And that's the special that airs.
Like, I-I improvised a lot.
-That is amazing. -I improvised a ton.
Because it's too arrogant to say to Netflix,
"Yeah, give me your money, I'll make it up, it'll work."
And by the way, it might, but it might not.
And that's just, that's just not a risk in that situation.
So what, so what if you have a joke that crushes on a night?
-Yeah. -You-you just let that joke go?
Quite often, yes.
I do-- it was nice in the moment.
But don't-don't you think that's, like,
a-a waste of jokes? I mean, like,
we live in an environment, like, there's climate
-there's climate change. -No, 'cause you know why?
Like, turtles are being strangled and you're
throwing away jokes here-- this is wastage.
Here's why...
You should be recycling the jokes here, Jeff.
-Do you know why I throw away jokes? -Why?
'Cause I always think of new ones.
(audience cheers)
That's why.
-That's what makes you special. -Yeah, that's it.
Jeff Garlin: Our Man in Chicago
currently streaming on Netflix!
Jeff Garlin, everybody!