Today's video is gonna be another psychedelic trip report video and I feel like at this point,
I still have to preface these videos by reminding you that I'm not an experienced "psychonaut." I
have lots of experience with microdosing, I have lots of interest in psychedelic research... but
when it comes to macrodosing —this is truly an area in which I am allowing myself all the time in
the world to go at my own pace. My plan for 2021 is to gradually work my way up to a 5 gram heroic
dose of magic mushrooms. If you're not familiar, the 5g heroic dose is sort of seen as the pinnacle
of the psychedelic journey. It's where you lose all sense of reality and you get completely
transported and taken away. That is something that I'm very excited about and I plan to do it alone
and it's also something that I plan to approach with a lot of responsibility and caution. Which is
why I'm not jumping two feet into it. In my last trip report, I told you about what it was like to
trip on 1g of magic mushrooms. Most recently, I increased that dose to 2g and in today's video,
I'm going to tell you about what this experience was like. I did notice some differences between
two grams and one gram, so I'm going to share with you what some of these differences are,
as well as reasons why I believe 2g was the better dose for me for therapeutic purposes.
The way that I prepared for my recent trip was very similar to the way that I prepared for my
last trip. I woke up, I walked my dog, came back, got comfy, took my dose and used the
time in between ingestion and onset to meditate and write down my intentions.
Writing down my intentions was something I took extra care of this time because I knew that I was
going to go into this trip for more therapeutic purposes —for more introspection purposes.
And I liken the practice of writing down your intentions to being prepared for a therapy
session with your therapist. It helps to have an idea of the certain aspects of your life or
certain issues that you would like to address with your therapist. In this case, there were
some things that had been weighing on me that I knew I wanted to get clarity on. We've talked,
in previous videos, about the difference between expecting a result going into a trip —versus
asking a question. You certainly don't want to go into a trip with any expectations because
it's going to make the process more difficult for you. That act of clutching onto something
is a huge factor that causes anxiety during a trip (I believe). And so you don't want to be clutching
onto anything. You *do* want to ask questions and then let go, so that's exactly what I did. I wrote
down my intentions, I wrote down the questions that I wanted answers to, and then I let it go.
Number one: the 1g trip was simply more fun. The reason for this is because it
allowed me to have just enough of a taste of the psychedelic experience without getting too deep.
I understand now why some people call the 1g dose a museum dose —because it makes the act of viewing
art more enjoyable. For me, it made the act of staring at my ceiling more enjoyable because
my ceilings were suddenly flushed with lavender tones (for some reason). The sunlight beaming
through my curtains were vivid and sparkly and it was all wonderful. Needless to say, on 2g, none of
that happened. I didn't notice any vivid colors. In fact, at one point, I could have sworn that the
sunlight turned kind of black and white —but to be honest, I didn't spend too much time looking at my
immediate surroundings because I was deep into introspection. Which brings us to our next point:
tripping on 2g of psilocybin mushrooms provided a deeper therapeutic experience for me. One of
the strongest indicators of this was the fact that I cried at least a few times on my 2g trip,
whereas I didn't cry at all on my 1g trip. What was interesting about
the crying was that I didn't even have tears to shed. I had simply been feeling so many emotions,
so intensely, that crying became my instinctual outlet. There's a reason why these these trip
reports sound very similar. It's because it is all about love. In that moment —in those
moments during my trip— I experienced so much love towards my family, my friends, everything,
myself... It was all so overwhelming but also in the best way. Another reason why I know 2g is more
therapeutic for me was because it compelled me to take immediate action. For example,
before my trip had even wrapped up, I found myself texting my brother just to ask how he
was. He lives on the other side of the country and I hadn't spoken to him in a while and I realized
that I missed him. The third difference that I noticed between the 2g trip and the 1g trip
was that 2g left me feeling more physically tired the next day. On 1g, there was hardly
any physical comedown for me. I was tired for a few hours in its immediate aftermath,
but I was basically able to bounce back at a hundred percent the next day. On 2g, however,
I was not. The day after my trip, I was tired. I ended up moving my schedule around so that I could
have more time to rest. At the time of filming, I'm over two days out and to be honest, guys,
I really thought about whether or not I wanted to come out with a video this week at all because
I still feel more physically drained. I'm not at a hundred percent yet. This section of the video
is not gonna be so neatly packaged compared to my last trip report. The reason for why this section
of the video is not gonna be so neatly processed is because I haven't processed everything —nor
am I certain that I ever will fully process everything (because I went deeper this time).
So forgive me if this section ends up being a hot mess, but I'm just going to come to you as
is. Number one: I started visualizing my parents as children while I was on my trip. Looking back,
this is certainly one of the reasons why I was bawling my eyes out. For those of us who are
lucky enough to have our parents around, we are so used to thinking of them as adults that we might
forget that they used to be children. If you've ever practiced meta meditation or loving-kindness
meditation, you'll know exactly what I mean. This is a powerful practice because it helps cultivate
a sense of compassion. Of course, you might start with someone for whom it's easy to feel
loving-kindness towards but this is a practice that you would also use to help you cultivate
a sense of compassion for people that you might not otherwise have compassion for. Number two:
I started visualizing an old friend —somebody who had had a recent falling out with. I don't
want to get too much into this. Just that we had a falling out and my ego was happy to stay separated
from this person. But while I was on my trip, I started thinking about our friendship. I started
thinking about the fact that I didn't want to let our egos to keep us separated... that I wanted to
get back in touch and in order to do so, I would have to swallow my pride and I would have to come
from a place of love. So I think that is what I'm going to do. That's something that I'm seriously
considering. Takeaway number three: these were the words that I wrote down in my notes verbatim. "The
world is run by traumatized people and power is a currency used by some to hedge against
the risk of rejection." Even though we all just want love in the end, some of us are convinced
that we have to jump through bigger hoops to get it. Beware of those who live by the principle,
"the ends justify the means," because people use that to convince themselves just about anything.
It is a principle that is a gateway to corruption and manipulation and abuses of power. Now
I don't know if I started thinking about all this because I've been spending too much time watching
documentaries about cults. Looking back, I am sure that's probably why... but now I have my answer
and, I don't know, my consciousness just thought it would be important for me to know these things
and now I'm sharing them with you. Another point that I wrote down is that there is a massive
difference between doing something FOR love and doing something OUT OF love. The former is a
corrupting force while the latter will empower you. Number four: daily meditation can be seen
as an act of self-love. Many of us (including myself) still see regular meditation as a chore
sometimes, especially when life gets busy. It can be easy to drop your daily practice. On my trip,
it just felt so good to experience breakthroughs of enlightenment in which the filter of my ego had
been stripped away and at long last, I could see clearly. What I experienced and saw was pure love.
I found myself thinking, "Wouldn't it be nice if these moments could last?" Or at the very least if
they could be conjured up again. And I didn't want to have to wait until my next trip to to have the
same experience. I wanted it to be incorporated into my day-to-day life somehow. What is truly
so incredible is that you don't have to go on an extravagant journey to get a taste of this bliss,
this clarity, this oneness... This is what meditation is for and you can simply begin
by carving out 10 to 20 minutes of your day in order to engage in this practice.
Maybe it's formal practice, maybe it's informal practice... the practice is in essence the same.
If you can have an appreciation of what the fruits of it are, then the practice doesn't have to be a
chore. It is, rather, a gift. I hope that made sense. I'm just gonna go to point number five,
which is definitely not going to make sense for you. (But maybe it might.) It's just actually a
bunch of jumbled up thoughts about capitalism. There was a moment on my trip where, honestly,
looking back... I probably had a little bit too much fun doing this, but I imagined the entire
capitalistic system just collapsing upon itself. And I'm not saying this as a sympathizer of
communism because my ancestral homelands have been ravaged by communism —so I know the destruction of
communism. But I'm also not a fan of late stage capitalism. Okay now I feel kind of funny that I
even shared that with you but you know what? This is an educational video and I'm not gonna pretend
that I've had certain experiences or I'm not gonna wrap something up in a certain way if it's
not authentic. My closing thoughts for you with regards to tripping on 2g of magic mushrooms
are... that it (honestly )looking back was such a beautiful introspective experience for me. It
was really therapeutic. I would highly recommend it. I would highly recommend 2g. I don't think
it should be anything that you should be afraid of. It's not gonna completely remove yourself
from your sense of reality, so if you're curious about your first macrodose and you're wondering
if you should go with one gram or two grams why not? Why not go into two grams if you are careful
about set and setting. I feel like it would be beneficial, especially for therapeutic purposes
and that is the note that I'm going to end off on. I will see you in my next video.